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paramorevfan

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paramorevfan

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 6 August 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 1189
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About paramorevfan : I'm spiffy.

paramorevfan's page activity

Visits<b>HannahMarie3210</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 3:27pm<b>saocrates</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 11:11am

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paramorevfan's favorite FMLs

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

#21260355
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25259) - you deserved it (2744)

On 09/17/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by HappilyNeverAfter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I tried to scare what I thought was a stray cat away from my friends car in our work parking garage by hitting the panic button on his keys, which did, indeed, make the creature panic. That's when I learned it was not a cat. It was a skunk. FML

Today, I caught a customer using his fat to shoplift gum out of a store. FML

#21258420
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31507) - you deserved it (2423)

On 09/14/2014 at 11:07pm - work - by nocat6 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I bought a large ice cream cake. No, there's no occasion, but I did ask the cashier to write "Happy Birthday" on it, just so she wouldn't know I was going to eat it all myself. FML

#21252624
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31820) - you deserved it (9133)

On 09/05/2014 at 8:13pm - misc - by tbee - United States (Illinois)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with a ring from Kay Jewelers. She saw the box, started giggling, whispered, "'Kay", and then started laughing so hard at her joke she had to excuse herself. FML

#21250887
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42340) - you deserved it (5206)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by very punny (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I woke up to the sight of a dead fly on my bedside table, being eaten by a swarm of ants. I screamed so bad that my dad said he thought my sister was being murdered in my room. FML

#21248448
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32229) - you deserved it (5728)

On 08/30/2014 at 12:40pm - misc - by liilii (man) - India (Kerala)

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

#21248352
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40526) - you deserved it (9440)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, it's been three weeks since my dad finished growing what he calls a "Jesus beard" and gone out asking for donations and claiming to be Jesus Christ. I've been trying and failing to get a job for 2 years, and he's already raking in cash from gullible idiots. FML

#21247834
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35925) - you deserved it (3195)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:16pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went on a date with the world's biggest lightweight. She got blind drunk on wine before dessert, and slurred, "You look like... like a black... blueberry." Amused, I said, "You mean a blackberry?" She stared at me for several long seconds, confused, then passed out. Check please. FML

#21247229
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37893) - you deserved it (2788)

On 08/28/2014 at 3:58pm - love - by wowzer (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, at my father's funeral, they were playing the song from Phantom of the Opera where she sings about her lost father. Apparently the song organizer forgot to edit out the part where her romantic interest runs toward her and yells, "That... That THING is not your father!" FML

#21245330
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35521) - you deserved it (2599)

On 08/25/2014 at 7:55pm - misc - by NotThePhantom - United States (California)

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

#21245090
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36436) - you deserved it (13677)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm - kids - by JackieD (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to flush someone else's shit in the public washroom at work. It was so vile, I didn't want to get anywhere near it, so flushed it with my foot, only for it to slip off the handle and into the toilet. FML

#21244424
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36515) - you deserved it (12389)

On 08/24/2014 at 1:31pm - work - by Alisterine - United States (Missouri)

Today, the police knocked on my door, saying that they needed to investigate my house for animal abuse. Apparently the neighbours called, reporting a "screeching bird in pain". I have no bird, but I have been singing quite loudly recently. FML

#21244302
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37646) - you deserved it (5008)

On 08/24/2014 at 8:40am - animals - by abusedparrot - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML

#21241122
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37057) - you deserved it (10070)

On 08/19/2014 at 5:54pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my husband to tell me something nice about myself. He thought for a few moments, then said, "Uh, you shit quietly." FML

#21239720
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40948) - you deserved it (5662)

On 08/17/2014 at 12:40pm - love - by ugh thanks - United States (Ohio)



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