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paprikacha's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 02/12/2010 at 2:51am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 02/12/2010 at 12:03am / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML
by Jon / 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by toolegittoquit / 01/18/2010 at 3:28am / United States (Washington) / Work
by wowhoopla / 01/10/2010 at 8:10pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I set up a miniature nativity scene in my apartment. Three hours ago, my dog decided it would be a good idea to eat baby Jesus. Two hours ago, the vet laughed and said not to worry because I would 'have him back in time for Christmas'. FML
by gettingacat / 12/17/2009 at 9:32am / United States (California) / Animals
by AnRom / 12/17/2009 at 4:58am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I was riding my bike back to my house. Suddenly I was hit by something in the head. I looked down to see a lemon on the ground and looked up to see a guy yelling at me in a car that was passing. He was yelling at me because I got in the way of the house he was throwing it at. FML
by Lemonhead / 11/30/2009 at 12:01am / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation
Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend over webcam with a cute negligee. He was doing homework. Half an hour later, he finally noticed. Apparently pre-calc is more interesting than his girlfriend. I guess polynomials are just curvier than me. FML
by NotAParabola / 10/07/2009 at 12:39am / United States (Oregon) / Love
Today, I realized that my bike was stolen. It was no big deal, my name and number was on it, but it was a crappy bike anyway. I live 3 miles away, and while I was on my walk home I noticed a bike had been thrown through my principal's window. Who's bike was it? Mine. FML
by shield1123 / 09/28/2009 at 10:07pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/28/2009 at 5:00pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him by handing me a ring and telling me, "Okay we're engaged now." I should have seen it coming when we started dating, I went to his house one night and as I was leaving he said, "Okay you're my girlfriend now." FML
by Anonymous / 09/22/2009 at 12:27am / United States (Oklahoma) / Love
Today, I was helping my dad move into his new house. It's a 4-bedroom house and he has three kids so it's perfect. I was wandering around and noticed that the first bedroom is his, the second is my older brother's, the third is my younger sister's, and the fourth is an office. I have no room. FML
by Anonymous / 09/13/2009 at 5:23pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by mommy_issues / 08/29/2009 at 12:46pm / United States (South Carolina) / Health
Today, I went to this meditation center which my mom suggested to get mental peace as I have been hating my job and life for some time now. I drove for an hour and then walked around in scorching Indian sun for 2 hours trying to locate the damn place. I got lost and returned home angrier than ever. FML
by zboy_123 / 08/23/2009 at 2:33pm / India (Haryana) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…
- Today, was my sister's and dad's birthday. I accidentally mixed up the gifts I got for them and my… Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He decided that the best time would be while I was giving him… Today, while on a walk during lunch, I urgently needed to pee. Not thinking I could make it back to…
- Today, I was an extra in a movie and I had to play a corpse. At the make up stand, they painted my… Today, I’m on a mission in Africa. My company driver is so old, deaf and half blind that I have to… Today, on my way home to Bordeaux after a weekend in Paris, I had the pleasure of being sat next to…