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You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.
Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9037) - you deserved it (47666)
On 05/19/2011 at 1:30am - work - by 613tanner -
Today, I searched frantically for my glasses for ages. After giving up, I realised I could see perfectly. I had been wearing them the whole time and neither my mother nor my father told me because "it was far too funny" watching me yell "Where the fuck are they?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (11167) - you deserved it (32264)
On 05/10/2011 at 6:48am - misc - by Kyle (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I woke my husband up at 2am, screaming that there was a badger in our bedroom. We both screamed for a bit until he finally says, "What are we screaming about!?" I took a second look at the badger, and realized it was my four year old daughter with her blanket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9918) - you deserved it (28370)
On 04/27/2011 at 9:35am - kids - by BadgerSpirit (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my husband got out of the shower, came downstairs naked screaming ''EMBRACE THE HARDNESS!!'' Little did he know, my step mother was sitting right there at the kitchen table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37601) - you deserved it (4306)
On 04/26/2011 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by Scarlett - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend tried to cure me of my snake phobia by buying one. When he took it out of the cage, it bit him. Now he's terrified of them too. Even worse, he dropped the snake, so it's now loose in our house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36246) - you deserved it (5620)
On 03/28/2011 at 2:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Macedonia (Struga)
Today, I opened a cupboard and a brick fell on my head. The same brick my mum put up there to "keep it out of the way". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25017) - you deserved it (3077)
On 03/23/2011 at 11:22am - misc - by EllieJ -
Today, my boyfriend had a bad dream that a horse was biting his fingers off. He punched the horse in the neck, and in real life punched me in the spine. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27135) - you deserved it (2877)
On 03/21/2011 at 1:02am - love - by lily389 -
Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29937) - you deserved it (43725)
On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)
Today, I cheated on my math exam. I still failed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8889) - you deserved it (58645)
On 02/26/2011 at 1:49am - misc - by hopeless (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, all the staff in my company were forced to attend an evening Chippendale show. Everyone in my department managed to think of a good reason to escape while I failed and no other choice but to go. I'm the only guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15729) - you deserved it (4853)
On 02/25/2011 at 5:15am - work - by yamada (man) - Singapore
Today, I looked in my mouse's cage and noticed a tiny weed growing. I've been trying to grow a garden for years to no avail. Even my mouse is a better gardener than I am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16824) - you deserved it (8186)
On 02/24/2011 at 6:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I went to my son's high school play. The moment I arrived at the auditorium, I shouted out his name to let him know I made it. Thinking I was a student, a teacher yelled, "SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN!" Scared out of my mind, I quickly obeyed, to mass giggling from the kids. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10424) - you deserved it (22931)
On 02/24/2011 at 1:39am - kids - by Annie (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden she gets up and screams at me "IT'S NOT A TACO EATING COMPETITION, CHILL OUT." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17807) - you deserved it (36504)
On 02/23/2011 at 5:06am - intimacy - by failed (man) - Switzerland (Vaud)
Today, I asked for permission to marry the girl I love. Her father not only said no, he said "HELL no!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24200) - you deserved it (3403)
On 02/22/2011 at 10:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I saw my mom run across the house naked for a condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44319) - you deserved it (2986)
On 02/05/2011 at 7:02am - misc - by bob - United States (Arizona)
Monday 20 May 2013
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