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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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panchpanch

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panchpanch
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 275
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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panchpanch's FML badges

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panchpanch's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my girlfriend of 3 years out to where we had our first date. I proposed to her. She breaks down in tears as she tells me she's been sleeping with her co-worker for the past year. FML

#13052175 (160)

I agree, your life sucks (40753) - you deserved it (1873)

On 09/14/2010 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by ohno - United States

Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML

#13005397 (333)

I agree, your life sucks (28793) - you deserved it (7268)

On 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by gorillalove - United States (Texas)

Today, my best friend thought it would look cool if I recorded her swinging while lying under the swing. She ended up kicking me in the face and laughing so hard she pissed on me. FML

#12522582 (301)

I agree, your life sucks (26869) - you deserved it (13378)

On 08/14/2010 at 4:43pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was repainting the walls in my room. While painting, I noticed a dark spot on the wall that wouldn't seem to go away no matter how much paint I put on it. A bucket of paint and hours later, I realized that "dark spot" was a shadow. FML

#12214891 (222)

I agree, your life sucks (5696) - you deserved it (38557)

On 07/30/2010 at 9:44pm - misc - by ick - United States (California)

Today, I got food poisoning and have had the worst diarrhea ever. I laid down in bed, hoping to get some rest when my dad thought it'd be a good idea to sneak into my room and scare the shit out of me. Literally. FML

#8910408 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (23274) - you deserved it (1403)

On 03/08/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by itsEVERYWHERE (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML

#8905229 (218)

I agree, your life sucks (5760) - you deserved it (20857)

On 03/07/2010 at 10:08pm - misc - by Numbnuts (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the store to buy a new lego set, only to find there weren't any left in stock. I started crying before I could make it out of the store. Oh, and I'm eighteen. FML

#8248390 (310)

I agree, your life sucks (5852) - you deserved it (27575)

On 02/14/2010 at 12:43pm - misc - by Tibblesthepengwin (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300 (228)

I agree, your life sucks (26948) - you deserved it (2204)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

Today, I got asked to Homecoming by the person I really like. I said yes and I was really excited. But my best friend who has liked me since the 6th grade wasn't. He went and broke my date's jaw. FML

#5865685 (261)

I agree, your life sucks (29189) - you deserved it (4738)

On 10/17/2009 at 1:11pm - misc - by AdriBAMF - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was having cybersex via webcam with my boyfriend. Trying to be as sexy as I could, I started sucking on my finger. Judging by the look on my boyfriend's face, he was getting really into it. As I started getting into it too, I shoved my finger too far down and puked all over my laptop. FML

#1387325 (234)

I agree, your life sucks (18085) - you deserved it (90067)

On 04/27/2009 at 9:51am - intimacy - by BARF (woman) - United States (California)