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Today, I got food poisoning and have had the worst diarrhea ever. I laid down in bed, hoping to get some rest when my dad thought it'd be a good idea to sneak into my room and scare the shit out of me. Literally. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16861) - you totally deserved it (894)
On 03/08/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by itsEVERYWHERE (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3922) - you totally deserved it (14882)
On 03/07/2010 at 10:08pm - misc - by Numbnuts (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went to the store to buy a new lego set, only to find there weren't any left in stock. I started crying before I could make it out of the store. Oh, and I'm eighteen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4293) - you totally deserved it (21777)
On 02/14/2010 at 12:43pm - misc - by Tibblesthepengwin (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21090) - you totally deserved it (1648)
On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - misc - by Dog fart - United States
Today, I got asked to Homecoming by the person I really like. I said yes and I was really excited. But my best friend who has liked me since the 6th grade wasn't. He went and broke my date's jaw. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24572) - you totally deserved it (3880)
On 10/17/2009 at 1:11pm - misc - by AdriBAMF - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was having cybersex via webcam with my boyfriend. Trying to be as sexy as I could, I started sucking on my finger. Judging by the look on my boyfriend's face, he was getting really into it. As I started getting into it too, I shoved my finger too far down and puked all over my laptop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14986) - you totally deserved it (79826)
On 04/27/2009 at 9:51am - intimacy - by BARF (woman) - United States (California)
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