pancakfail

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pancakfail

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 1 September 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 668
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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pancakfail's FML badges

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pancakfail's favorite FMLs

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. He's been calling his penis "fun-sized" for a while now, but I didn't know he meant it really was the size of a fun-size candy bar. I'm pretty sure I'm still technically a virgin. FML

by Anonymous / 01/05/2011 at 3:49pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend was making salsa and got jalepeno juice all over his mouth. A little bit later, he started going down me. He hadn't washed his mouth. FML

by Anonymous / 12/03/2010 at 7:11pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend was making salsa and got jalepeno juice all over his mouth. A little bit later, he started going down me. He hadn't washed his mouth. FML

by Anonymous / 12/03/2010 at 7:11pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend compared my orgasm to that of a beached sea turtle. He demonstrated what he meant in front of all our friends. FML

by shopper242 / 11/22/2010 at 7:29am / France / Intimacy

Today, stood in line for hours to see the new Harry Potter. Unfortunately, once inside the theater, I was stuck in the bathroom with the runs for the entire length of the movie. FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2010 at 4:20pm / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, my boyfriend wanted to show me a magic trick. He filled a bowl with wine, pushed it on top of the ceiling using a broom stick, and held it up there. He told me to hold it and left. Taking my hands off the broomstick would cause the bowl to fall on my expensive new suit. Eventually, it did. FML

by Anonymous / 11/15/2010 at 10:57am / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, my fiancé admitted to me that the only reason he's attracted to me and asked me to marry him is because I look and act like his favorite anime character. FML

Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2010 at 2:14am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was in the car hooking up with my boyfriend. He was on top of me when I noticed my neighbor jogging toward the car. Instead of hiding, I felt compelled to wave as he jogged past us. FML

by Caught / 11/11/2010 at 8:34am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was eating at a Mexican restaurant with my sister. I was happily biting into a burrito, when I saw a man in his car in the restaurant parking lot, staring at us and jacking off. FML

by secretdoll / 11/09/2010 at 2:51am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my best friend lost her virginity to my father. Her excuse? She was drunk. His excuse? "She's hot." FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2010 at 9:21pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, I was out eating lunch with my parents when my mom complained that I eat too quickly and don't thoroughly chew my food. My dad exclaimed, "That's because she swallows!" FML

by Username / 10/29/2010 at 7:15pm / Intimacy

Today, I decided to let in my new German Shepherd puppy inside to show the guest how adorable he is. In the middle of our conversation, he came running up to us with my vibrator in his mouth. FML

by Anonymous / 10/27/2010 at 3:37am / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the dentist. I had to get a tooth removed. In the middle of the procedure, the power went out. I had to sit there for an hour to wait for it to come back on. The anesthetic wore off before he started working on me again. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2010 at 4:34pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, I decided to be adventurous and give my boyfriend head in the downstairs tv room. Just as he was about to cum I heard someone walking towards the door. I took my mouth off to get up and lock the door just as he came. Didn't make it to the door but my dad saw something he will never forget. FML

by stickyface / 10/24/2010 at 1:18am / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy