About pacmanman : Current college student going for chemical engineering. Hobbies: video games, skateboarding, badminton, etc. favorite tv shows: family guy, American dad, total blackout, myth busters, etc. Music is what defines who I am! Favorite bands: Green Day, Sum 41, Blink-182, ADTR, New Found Glory, etc. want to know something just ask!
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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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pacmanman's favorite FMLs
Today, while having lunch with my grandparents, my grandpa's eyes glazed over, his head fell and he slumped in his chair. I started panicking and almost cried, thinking he was dead. Then he laughed and said "Just kidding. I'm fine." FML
by Anonymous / 10/09/2015 at 2:02pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/28/2015 at 3:21am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, I spent hours cooking a big dinner for my parents for the first time. I guess I made the steak too rare, because when my dad cut into it, he said "Christ! This thing's practically alive!" and said a skilled vet could probably bring the cow it was cut from back to life. FML
by Anonymous / 07/19/2015 at 1:05am / United States / Miscellaneous
by feels like an asshole / 06/09/2015 at 4:03pm / United States / Health
Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML
by HiddlePuff / 05/14/2015 at 8:42am / Australia / Work
Today, I thought I had gotten away with throwing a party while my folks were gone the night before. They came home and I was as sweet as possible. I could tell they were not buying it, but I thought I was in the clear. Later, they told me I had drunk-dialled them and spilled the beans. FML
by banana12321 / 04/02/2015 at 12:40am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, on my day off, I received a call from my boss asking why I wasn't at work yet. After getting dressed and an hour-long train ride later, I got there only to find out that it was an April Fool's prank. I had to take the train back home. FML
by IDontGetPaidEnoughForThisShit / 03/31/2015 at 10:15pm / Australia (Victoria) / Work
Today, I went to the supermarket with my husband and kids. A crazy old man started yelling at us and challenged us to fight him outside. Security had to escort us to our car. Why was he so mad? Our cart momentarily blocked his path to the beef jerky samples. FML
by gotta_respond / 01/10/2015 at 2:22pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by hellalegit / 11/07/2014 at 1:26am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I was at a party, and someone called the cops on us. I dove into a bush that turned out to have thorns. I got multiple cuts and a sprained wrist, and got arrested anyway. Its kind of hard to hide from the police when you're screaming in agony. FML
by Anonymous / 07/19/2014 at 7:35am / United States (Missouri) / Health
by Baby eater / 05/19/2014 at 8:00pm / United States (Tennessee) / Kids
Today, I read that egg whites make a good hair treatment. Everything was going fine until, without thinking, I turned the hot water on to wash it out. I'm still picking the cooked egg out of my hair. FML
by EggHead / 05/03/2014 at 12:57am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML
by Anonymous / 02/13/2014 at 10:20am / United States (Nevada) / Animals
Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML
by Unknown / 02/07/2014 at 9:18am / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/26/2013 at 9:39pm / United States (California) / Transportation