About osteobabe : Wallowing in collective pity
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osteobabe's favorite FMLs
Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML
by Anonymous / 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by radioactiveglowinthedarkthing / 10/10/2011 at 3:06pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Health
by Anonymous / 10/06/2011 at 11:23am / United States (Minnesota) / Love
Today, my friends and I were having a conversation about which mythical creature would be the most unlikely to exist in the real world. They all collectively agreed that it would be a girl who is attracted to me. FML
by Unluckiest Guy of the group / 09/28/2011 at 3:26pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/27/2011 at 11:56am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
by BigBananaLover / 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my fiancé told me his ex-wife was 5 weeks pregnant. I was happy for her, and glad she had finally moved on. Until I found out who the father was. They're moving back in together, for the baby's sake. FML
by xOdaatx / 09/26/2011 at 9:01am / Australia / Love
Today, I bought a UV light so I could detect cat pee, since I was sure my cat was relieving herself on the carpet. I decided to try it out in the living room first. Nearly half the room lit up like a Christmas tree. FML
by Anonymous / 09/25/2011 at 12:15pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals
Today, I had my parents over at my new apartment. As I was telling them how quiet and peaceful my new place is, we could hear my neighbors talking nasty to each other before launching into a full-blown sex ordeal. FML
by holler / 09/15/2011 at 12:22am / Japan (Tokyo) / Intimacy
by stillkindahorny / 09/13/2011 at 1:51am / United States / Intimacy
by aru9 / 09/12/2011 at 3:25pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by RetroDayDreamer / 09/10/2011 at 11:46am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML
by Anonymous / 09/10/2011 at 2:35am / United States / Intimacy
by rplovez / 09/05/2011 at 7:14pm / Canada / Transportation
Today, my mother offered to pay for my tickets to go see my girlfriend who I haven't seen for 6 months. She was happy to pay for the £130 flight, but then refused half way through the purchase because she wasn't going to "let the buggers charge £13 extra" for using her credit card. FML
by Grounded / 09/05/2011 at 7:32am / United Kingdom (Norfolk) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, after two weeks of trying to convince my parents to go to my high school graduation. They… 2Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 3Today, my flatmate came home from a date with the same guy that I have been in love with since high…