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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
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Today, my brother in law got into a fight with my husband. My pregnant sister was yelling at her husband to stop beating my husband up. When I came into the room, I asked why they were fighting. You'll never guess who the real father of my sister's baby is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54851) - you deserved it (2333)
On 10/13/2011 at 7:20pm - love - by Good sister (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26007) - you deserved it (6935)
On 10/13/2011 at 3:19am - intimacy - by scewable (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29924) - you deserved it (22083)
On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29924) - you deserved it (22083)
On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I took my friend with me for a radiology scan. While I was getting injections, my friend muttered, "On the bright side, if you die, you'll glow in the dark at the funeral." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18265) - you deserved it (2275)
On 10/10/2011 at 3:06pm - health - by radioactiveglowinthedarkthing (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22805) - you deserved it (1405)
On 10/06/2011 at 11:23am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my friends and I were having a conversation about which mythical creature would be the most unlikely to exist in the real world. They all collectively agreed that it would be a girl who is attracted to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27250) - you deserved it (3397)
On 09/28/2011 at 3:26pm - love - by Unluckiest Guy of the group (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28556) - you deserved it (8528)
On 09/27/2011 at 11:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16160) - you deserved it (32433)
On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)
Today, my fiancé told me his ex-wife was 5 weeks pregnant. I was happy for her, and glad she had finally moved on. Until I found out who the father was. They're moving back in together, for the baby's sake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31340) - you deserved it (2224)
Today, I bought a UV light so I could detect cat pee, since I was sure my cat was relieving herself on the carpet. I decided to try it out in the living room first. Nearly half the room lit up like a Christmas tree. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24341) - you deserved it (3408)
On 09/25/2011 at 12:15pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I had my parents over at my new apartment. As I was telling them how quiet and peaceful my new place is, we could hear my neighbors talking nasty to each other before launching into a full-blown sex ordeal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22164) - you deserved it (2254)
On 09/15/2011 at 12:22am - intimacy - by holler - Japan (Tokyo)
Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been seeing. It took him longer to put the condom on than it did to finish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25991) - you deserved it (3014)
On 09/13/2011 at 1:51am - intimacy - by stillkindahorny - United States
Today, I met an old friend from high school and his hot girlfriend. I jokingly said she must be blind to go out with him. His response: "Yeah, she is." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15592) - you deserved it (23047)
On 09/12/2011 at 3:25pm - misc - by aru9 - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my parents overheard me having sex with my girlfriend. They thought it would be funny to barge in with nothing but underwear on. This has happened twice now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28237) - you deserved it (22187)
On 09/10/2011 at 11:46am - intimacy - by RetroDayDreamer - United States (Texas)
Monday 17 June 2013
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