About osteobabe : Wallowing in collective pity
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osteobabe's favorite FMLs
Today, a nurse asked my relationship status. I answered, "Married". She then asked if there was any possibility of me being pregnant. I hardly contained my snort, before responding, "No, you have to have sex for that." I'm not sure what's worse, the fact that it's true or her laughter. FML
by bluevix / 10/10/2014 at 9:25pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML
by SaintGoobers / 10/06/2014 at 4:24pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/03/2014 at 9:41pm / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Miscellaneous
by Ryuun12 / 10/02/2014 at 11:20pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, after years of wonderful flying experiences, I boarded a flight and took my seat only to find a baby sitting in front of me, behind me, and to the right of me, and across the aisle from me. All of whom decided to cry in unison. It was a 9-hour flight. FML
by MLeguillon / 09/01/2014 at 12:34am / United States (Missouri) / Transportation
by disappointedjamaican / 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Miscellaneous
by KristaAaronn / 08/27/2014 at 8:24am / United States (Tennessee) / Health
by whotouchedyou1 / 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by unloved cat owner / 02/15/2014 at 7:50pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, and every other night since my new neighbors moved in two weeks ago, their cat has been standing outside my house meowing constantly up at my window, where my cat keeps standing and meowing back. It's like a feline version of Romeo and Juliet, and I can't sleep. FML
by Anonymous / 01/11/2014 at 1:52pm / Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional) / Animals
Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML
by not getting laid / 10/13/2013 at 10:38am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, it was my wedding. Every good wedding has slutty wedding sex, and I thought it would be over after my cousin and his girlfriend were caught in the parking lot. I was wrong, the sluttiest wedding sex goes to my drunk husband and sister in the coat room. FML
by lizzie / 05/25/2013 at 2:55am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by Anonymous / 05/07/2013 at 4:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals
by Anonymous / 01/14/2013 at 12:58pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by anon / 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper.… Today, I returned a rental car and almost got charged extra for the "funky and rotten" smell in the… Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and…