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Today, a drunk man wearing a sandwich-board proclaiming that, "The end is nigh" threw some so-called holy water at me while bellowing, "It's what Jesus would've wanted" and that I should "repent for being an evil shite." FML
I agree, your life sucks (3149) - you deserved it (361)
On 05/24/2012 at 6:39pm - misc - by Notasinner (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17516) - you deserved it (1501)
On 05/08/2012 at 10:05pm - intimacy - by laury - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3300) - you deserved it (10704)
On 05/04/2012 at 8:49am - health - by authorsubmit - United States
Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3584) - you deserved it (12383) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)
Today, at a concert, I got into a fight with a man in a banana suit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2619) - you deserved it (4246)
On 04/29/2012 at 5:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (3336) - you deserved it (14336) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I dolled myself up and hit the campus gym, hoping to leave with a cute boy's number. I left in a stretcher. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2855) - you deserved it (7007)
On 02/24/2012 at 6:01pm - health - by gabby - United States (Texas)
Today, even though she can barely deal with raising kids, my 19-year-old sister announced her fourth pregnancy, by a fourth man, of yet another race. Why? Because she wants to "be like Angelina Jolie." I fear that social services may laugh at me if I tell them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10735) - you deserved it (788)
On 02/12/2012 at 7:18pm - kids - by amythest - United Kingdom (Belfast)
Today, my girlfriend openly mocked me, calling me an idiot for thinking seahorses are real. She insists that they're like unicorns, and only exist in fiction. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11124) - you deserved it (1318)
On 02/06/2012 at 4:52pm - animals - by BoringFucker (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)
Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10492) - you deserved it (6022)
On 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by lababy - United States
Today, my fiancé and I got married. We both promised to remain abstinent until our wedding day. She's on her period. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32362) - you deserved it (6151)
On 10/31/2011 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Andrew - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, it was my first day on duty as a rookie cop. Everything was going great, and even the veterans on the force were warming up to me. That is until my mother came into the station carrying a brown bag for my lunch. Written on the bag was, "Lunch for my big boy. I love you, pumpkin." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11946) - you deserved it (1817)
On 10/25/2011 at 2:46pm - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15311) - you deserved it (22636)
On 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I paid $70 to learn from the vet that my cat doesn't have a UTI, he's just developed a fetish for peeing on plastic bags. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6911) - you deserved it (729)
On 10/20/2011 at 9:13pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I came home crying and informed my mother that someone had called me a 'fat bitch' today. She held me at arms length, looked me straight in the eyes, and lovingly said, "You can't change who you are." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10302) - you deserved it (1856)
On 10/20/2011 at 12:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Meath)
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