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orenjeo

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orenjeo

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 18 December 1989 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 219
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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orenjeo's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a first date. Everything was going well until he asked me, "So, what's the biggest thing you've stuck up your vag?" FML

#21281604
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37113) - you deserved it (2738)

On 10/20/2014 at 5:28am - intimacy - by bye loser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

#21260355
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41209) - you deserved it (4338)

On 09/17/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by HappilyNeverAfter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work, a midget came in to buy beer. Not only was he almost as tall as me, he got offended when I had to card him and explain that the manager told me to card everyone, and that it wasn't because he was short. FML

#21256044
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32747) - you deserved it (2706)

On 09/10/2014 at 11:57pm - work - by mybad - United States

Today, my friend saw a stamp on my hand and asked me which club I had gone to last night. I was so desperate to seem cool that I lied, instead of admitting it was actually from a children's play group that I took my kids to. FML

#21105342
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32711) - you deserved it (8054)

On 04/05/2014 at 6:05pm - kids - by lamemom - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML

#21095689
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47028) - you deserved it (11882)

On 03/24/2014 at 11:39pm - misc - by dani (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was babysitting my nephew and we decided to color together. He drew a picture of someone who looked dead, almost zombie-like, while everyone else looked pretty normal. When I asked who it was, he said in a serious, scary voice, "It's you." FML

#21088838
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35633) - you deserved it (3678)

On 03/17/2014 at 5:51am - kids - by BondingTime - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my friends hired a male stripper to give me a lap dance for my birthday. It was all pretty nice until he let rip one of the most nauseating farts I've ever encountered, right in my face. Hours later, I can still smell it. FML

#21086642
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51965) - you deserved it (6552)

On 03/14/2014 at 4:45pm - intimacy - by polebitch49 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend suggested that we become "drug dealers" because I'm a chemistry student and he's seen a few episodes of Breaking Bad. FML

#20812711
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44958) - you deserved it (4812)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:50am - misc - by Bnewlove - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mom left for a bachelorette party. She forgot a gift, so she called me and made me go into her closet, pick out a sex toy from the "box of gag gifts", and bring it to her. Should I pick anal beads or a cock ring? FML

#20744678
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54631) - you deserved it (4457)

On 06/24/2013 at 2:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boss gave me an autographed photo of himself after he heard that I think he's intimidatingly attractive. FML

#20743881
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37010) - you deserved it (8686)

On 06/24/2013 at 1:20am - work - by myfavoritesgouda (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

#20743795
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79462) - you deserved it (7233)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by jgtrflynn (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)



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