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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, I met the man of my dreams. We saw a movie, then went to a bar. It went perfectly, until he got wasted and started singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" to me while everyone laughed. Then I woke up, having just been Rickrolled by my own subconscious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28265) - you deserved it (4450)
On 03/12/2013 at 12:43pm - misc - by ShadowBox (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)
Today, my pet parrot learned a new trick. In addition to imitating my dog, and my voice when I call my mother, it can now imitate my sex noises, and likes to screech them whenever someone comes into the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20352) - you deserved it (6208)
On 03/12/2013 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14168) - you deserved it (49505)
On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version
Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31146) - you deserved it (1859)
Today, I woke up to discover that the guy I hooked up with last night did indeed have a mullet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11261) - you deserved it (39140)
On 03/08/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by WeHitTurbulence (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25551) - you deserved it (6801)
On 01/10/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovakia
Today, I have an ear infection. The pain from it radiates from my ear all the way down the left side of my face, so my doctor prescribed me something that makes half of my face numb and pretty much unusable. Tomorrow, I have to give a presentation on strokes for my med class. Go figure. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17149) - you deserved it (975)
On 11/20/2012 at 5:41am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I came back home in tears, and eventually told my dad what was wrong. He immediately excused himself to the living room, where I heard him tell my mom, "She's gone all Taylor Swift again." FML
I agree, your life sucks (142) - you deserved it (6021)
On 11/11/2012 at 5:48pm - love - by notalovestory (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, my friend showed me a video of me in a nightclub. I was holding two Skittles vodka shots and shouting, "Red and green, merry Kwanzaa!" The shots were yellow and purple. I can't remember that night at all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5101) - you deserved it (14842)
Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17220) - you deserved it (2920)
On 10/30/2012 at 10:27am - misc - by Obi1Shinobi - United States
Today, my mom called me from jail. She was arrested for having sex in public. I was with my dad when I got the call. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37484) - you deserved it (1576)
On 10/27/2012 at 11:02am - intimacy - by Monkey (man) - United States
Today, I was getting out of the car when I saw a dark figure approaching me from behind a shed. I screamed and threw my bag. It also threw its bag, due to the fact that it was my shadow on the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6072) - you deserved it (14216)
On 10/19/2012 at 12:06am - misc - by ktreens (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21203) - you deserved it (11993)
On 10/16/2012 at 8:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was assigned to write a short story about what we imagine Earth to be like in 500 years, and daily conflicts people experience. My teacher loved it and read it aloud to the class. He asked for my inspiration, and I didn't have the heart to say that I ripped off Mass Effect 3. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5527) - you deserved it (13457)
On 09/12/2012 at 12:24am - misc - by brianfantana32 - United States (Washington)
Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10542) - you deserved it (32406)
On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Monday 20 May 2013
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