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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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onehotdemon

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onehotdemon
  • Town/Country : British Columbia, Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 554
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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onehotdemon's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my mom had read my diary because she was worried. She now knows details about my depression, details about my sex life, such as how I lost my virginity, to whom (I don't have a boyfriend), and what condition I was in at the time (drunk as a duck). She also showed my dad. FML

#6389585 (225)

I agree, your life sucks (26141) - you deserved it (14010)

On 11/21/2009 at 7:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I was sitting with a friend who moved back into town, and he told me about how he hooked up with a girl at a bar last night. I asked him if she was hot, he responded "Yeah, I have a picture of her on my phone." It was a picture of my girlfriend. FML

#6388093 (59)

I agree, your life sucks (30548) - you deserved it (1570)

On 11/21/2009 at 3:00am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, a woman cursed me out, called me a perverted freak, and said I should be ashamed of myself because I had asked her "How much for one night?." She works in a toy shop, I was with my five year old daughter, and was pointing to the sign, "Rent A Helium Tank!" FML

#6354900 (99)

I agree, your life sucks (30415) - you deserved it (1802)

On 11/18/2009 at 2:52pm - kids - by whatthewhat - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I asked my boss a simple question about a problem I was having with a project I am currently doing. He replied: ''You don't worry your sweet little ass about it babe". My boss is my girlfriend's father. Nice. FML

#6353474 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (19818) - you deserved it (1869)

On 11/18/2009 at 11:45am - work - by GiWi (man) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, my mom's "hobby" of rescuing homeless people became very real. We now have 3 more people living in our house, and none of them have a sense of personal space. I wake up to their faces in my windows. Thanks mom. FML

#6350445 (75)

I agree, your life sucks (23694) - you deserved it (1285)

On 11/18/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by Bribri (man) - United States (California)

Today, while putting on makeup, I got a face full of bloody scratches instead of an even skin tone. Turns out my makeup sponge was full of bits of glass. My little brother forgot to tell me he shattered a mirror beside my makeup box. FML

#6316849 (70)

I agree, your life sucks (24076) - you deserved it (1917)

On 11/15/2009 at 8:46pm - kids - by redisnotmycolor (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML

#6316031 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (46751) - you deserved it (2376)

On 11/15/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, when I walked up to my car, all my windows were smashed. Thankfully, all I keep in my car is jumper cables, a pen, my car insurance and manual. Whoever smashed my windows apparently was pissed, 'cos they left a note saying "F**k you and your f**king station wagon". FML

#6315391 (75)

I agree, your life sucks (20971) - you deserved it (1453)

On 11/15/2009 at 6:16pm - misc - by Smashed (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at work, when this guy came in and paid for his ice cream, then handed me a dollar. I've never gotten a tip before, so I looked at him and said, "Thank you so much, I appreciate it." He stared at me with a weird look for a moment, and then said, "Can I just get that in quarters?" FML

#6313806 (61)

I agree, your life sucks (19226) - you deserved it (3535)

On 11/15/2009 at 3:04pm - money - by notip (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a neighbour called to say my water tank burst. A colleague followed me home to help, took off his shirt so it wouldn't get wet and climbed through my window to get to the roof. My boyfriend unexpectedly came home as we were emerging from the bedroom. My colleague was still buttoning his shirt up. FML

#6309981 (98)

I agree, your life sucks (33324) - you deserved it (3822)

On 11/15/2009 at 3:42am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was playing ball with my student during recess. My first attempt at throwing the ball hit him in the head. My second attempt hit him in the crotch. FML

#6211004 (58)

I agree, your life sucks (17193) - you deserved it (5333)

On 11/08/2009 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I got an email from my cute teacher about reminding us to bring stuff for the next lesson. As a joke I clicked on reply and wrote about how I think he is so cute and handsome. Right then and there I clicked to go look at other messages. A little box came up..."MESSAGE SENT". FML

#6206375 (118)

I agree, your life sucks (5569) - you deserved it (38302)

On 11/08/2009 at 1:07am - misc - by mylifereallysuks (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband left his cell phone at home. I looked through his contacts and found a person named "The Bitch." Being a very curious person, I decided to call "The Bitch" to see who it was. My phone rang. FML

#6192797 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (28316) - you deserved it (10428)

On 11/07/2009 at 5:22am - misc - by badwife (woman) - Japan

Today, I found my checking and savings account to both read $0.00. My parents transferred all my money to theirs because "I'm irresponsible, and not fit to handle money." I'm a 3.8 college student and have a full-time job. They are currently unemployed. FML

#6062810 (202)

I agree, your life sucks (28565) - you deserved it (2111)

On 10/29/2009 at 10:00pm - misc - by Bummer - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML

#6061136 (91)

I agree, your life sucks (16346) - you deserved it (5152)

On 10/29/2009 at 8:33pm - misc - by BaconBreathBlonde (woman) - United States (Illinois)