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oneforceone

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oneforceone

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2107
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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oneforceone's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, I decided to make things more interesting, so when I called people I used a fake accent. As I was using an Australian accent, the person I was talking to asked me where in Australia I was from. I desperately replied, "Where the kangaroos are..." I'm now jobless. FML

#20011862
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6050) - you deserved it (34018)

On 08/09/2012 at 5:42pm - work - by sincerely depressed. - United States (California)

Today, I was at the mall, when a guy started screaming at his buddy for sleeping with his sister. It was pretty hilarious, so when he stormed off, I mockingly yelled, "Pussy!" He then whirled around and beat the absolute hell out of his friend. Now I feel like I'm going to reincarnate as a turd. FML

#20011677
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6433) - you deserved it (46800)

On 08/09/2012 at 3:51pm - misc - by feelsterrible (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

#20011233
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19875) - you deserved it (3414)

On 08/09/2012 at 10:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went out with a friend to grab some food and we were served by this really cute and fun waiter. Stepping out of my comfort zone and deciding to do something crazy, I left my phone number on the bill. I got home only to realize that I forgot to pay the bill. FML

#20011112
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15330) - you deserved it (19797)

On 08/09/2012 at 7:39am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found one of my mom's old diaries that dated back to my infant days. I couldn't help but read a little. I'm now in great concern over how many times my mom wrote that she wanted to dunk me in the toilet or throw me against a wall. FML

#20010632
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22762) - you deserved it (3411)

On 08/09/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my son thought it would be a great idea to spray a whole can of spray tan all over my freshly-painted white bathroom walls as an "experiment". He's 18. FML

#20010519
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20778) - you deserved it (2799)

On 08/08/2012 at 11:29pm - kids - by bellabreeze - United States (Maine)

Today, my wife yelled at me for admitting I take my wedding ring off at work. I explained that I work in a chemistry lab and don't want to damage it. She laughed and said, "Oh please, that chemistry stuff is nonsense anyway." All while reading her horoscope. FML

#20010086
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28135) - you deserved it (3386)

On 08/08/2012 at 7:03pm - love - by Dumbfounded - United States (Texas)

Today, I posted a Facebook status on how I hated the new Batman movie. I'm now single, and have received multiple threats. FML

#20009878
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17858) - you deserved it (40947)

On 08/08/2012 at 4:39pm - misc - by Deaththreat101 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my insane boss decided I poop too much. Now, every time I go to the bathroom, he follows me in and tries to get me to hurry up by reading passages from 50 Shades of Grey. FML

#20009332
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28958) - you deserved it (3134)

On 08/08/2012 at 9:53am - work - by blakeintheoffice - United States

Today, I was bagging my groceries when I accidentally smacked myself in the face with a box of popsicles, giving myself a nose bleed. I found out that the cashier hates the sight of blood when she passed out behind the register. They called security on me. FML

Today, I surprisingly found two empty seats on the subway. Before anyone could get to them, I rushed and triumphantly sat down, enjoying my victory, until I noticed why they were empty. I had just sat down next to a guy vigorously trying to fellate himself. FML

#20007431
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21638) - you deserved it (5735)

On 08/07/2012 at 9:19am - intimacy - by Nightmares - United States

Today, I had an upset stomach. I decided to quickly take out the trash before heading to the bathroom. As I opened the trash can lid, a raccoon jumped out. I learned the literal meaning of being scared shitless. FML

#20007279
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21666) - you deserved it (2250)

On 08/07/2012 at 5:19am - health - by TheCerealKiller - United States (California)

Today, I went to visit a friend I hadn't seen in ages who lives alone out in the country. I arrived and found the front door unlocked but no one was home. I went in anyway and helped myself to some food. Then a family I had never seen before came in, and I realized it wasn't my friend's house. FML

#20007202
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9398) - you deserved it (29503)

On 08/07/2012 at 3:48am - misc - by Embarrassed - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I successfully stopped my hair straightener from falling into a bathtub full of water by grabbing hold of the burning hot plates. FML

#20006687
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20900) - you deserved it (7093)

On 08/06/2012 at 11:08pm - health - by anonymous - Australia

Today, my mom called me screaming and cussing because she found pot in my room. I come home and my dad says, "I hid some pot in your room and I'm not letting you go to that concert if you rat me out." My dad is apparently a blackmailing 52-year-old stoner. FML

#20006521
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28314) - you deserved it (1786)

On 08/06/2012 at 9:40pm - misc - by Joe Lizen - United States (Illinois)



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