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oneforceone

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oneforceone

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1790
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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oneforceone's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a spider in my bathtub, so instead of killing it, i decided to bring my dog inside the bathroom to kill the spider for me. Turns out that the spider was a black widow, and my dog was bit. The dog killed the spider. The spider killed my dog. FML

#674037
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78581) - you deserved it (162000)

On 03/29/2009 at 1:04am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was texting two people at once. Trying to respond to my friend's text, I accidentally clicked on this guy's name instead, who I've never met. He just told me about his grandma's funeral he went to that was an open casket. I responded with, "Haha wow you slut, I'm sure you were aroused." FML

Today, one of my co-workers invited me to a cookout at her house with some other people from my new job. She said to wear my suit. Assuming she had a pool, I showed up in a bikini, only to find everyone else wearing business attire and staring at me like I had lost my mind. FML

#520229
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22404) - you deserved it (63091)

On 03/21/2009 at 10:36pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was sitting in math class when I glanced over to the other side of the room and the hottest girl in the school is over there. I could see her thong so I instantly got a boner. About a minute later my teacher calls me up to the board to do a problem. I wore basketball shorts that day. FML

#333787
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76097) - you deserved it (39381)

On 03/15/2009 at 12:45am - intimacy - by 12incher (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was using the elliptical when I got a bad wedgie. All the ellipticals are up against a wall so after trying to pick it I finally decided to just pull down the back of my pants and underwear. I then remembered there was a window to a yoga class behind me. I mooned them all. FML

#296408
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10824) - you deserved it (51745)

On 03/13/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by MikeyPeters - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at work and a very obese woman came in to get a pedicure. When she took her shoes off I noticed an odd black substance on her feet. I started scrubbing it off and wondered out loud, "What IS this stuff??" As a chunk of it fell onto my lip, she replied, "Girl, that's just the fungus." FML

#259526
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100948) - you deserved it (6299)

On 03/10/2009 at 7:55am - work - by SalonGirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was my final meeting with my psychologist who was helping me with my bipolar disorder. I just found out that he committed suicide. FML

#225762
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (118479) - you deserved it (5617)

On 03/06/2009 at 12:11pm - health - by drakx88 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was working at Chuck-E-Cheese. If that isn't enough, I was put in the mouse costume. Due to the disgusting hot smell and atmosphere in the costume, I fainted in front of a birthday party. I awoke to a little boy screaming who then kicked me in the face and ran. FML

#214939
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50046) - you deserved it (3892)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:14am - work - by Shell (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was babysitting this one year old. She just learned how to say yes so if you asked her ANYTHING, she'd say yes. I asked her if she liked vegetables and she said "yes!" Then I asked her if I was pretty... she looked at me and said "NO." FML

#171559
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59624) - you deserved it (13011)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:29pm - kids - by hi (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was babysitting my 5 year old niece, and she was really down in the dumps because she didn't get invited to a birthday party. To cheer her up, I took her to Chuck E Cheese. Right when we arrived, we walked in on a birthday party. It was the one that my niece got denied from. FML

#154710
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54824) - you deserved it (6206)

On 02/27/2009 at 5:58pm - kids - by stpry of my life (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to find that my dog was missing. I spent about an hour searching for him when my psycho ex-girlfriend texted me his photo. She'd kidnapped him. After driving over there, she shot paintballs at my car. Now I have no dog and a colorful car. FML

#128340
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94802) - you deserved it (6629)

On 02/24/2009 at 10:21pm - animals - by sammatthews2007 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I fell down the stairs twice. I fell from the top, stopped in the middle, stood up, stepped down one more step, tripped, and fell down the rest of the stairs. FML

#4121
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28672) - you deserved it (4911)

On 01/31/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by Lars - United States (Pennsylvania)



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