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oneforceone

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oneforceone

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2106
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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oneforceone's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to pee really bad so I tried to unlock my door as fast as I could. I put my key in and turned it too hard, the key snapped inside. I ended up peeing on myself. FML

#1512569
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50686) - you deserved it (12509)

On 05/01/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to pee really bad so I tried to unlock my door as fast as I could. I put my key in and turned it too hard, the key snapped inside. I ended up peeing on myself. FML

#1512569
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50686) - you deserved it (12509)

On 05/01/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to pee really bad so I tried to unlock my door as fast as I could. I put my key in and turned it too hard, the key snapped inside. I ended up peeing on myself. FML

#1512569
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50686) - you deserved it (12509)

On 05/01/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at a frat band party dancing with my girl when I felt some liquid on my arm. Normally, I'll lick spilled drinks off my arms and being slightly intoxicated, I did. Then I realized it was chunky. The girl dancing next to us had puked everywhere and I licked her vomit off my arm. FML

#1080598
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29525) - you deserved it (105559)

On 04/18/2009 at 6:42am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, was my birthday. My friends love to play pranks on me. So when I entered the door for my surprise party, I became aware of the surroundings. There was nothing. Everyone was staring as I slowly entered the room. When I closed the door behind me, a freaking bucket of pee fell all over me. FML

#1075596
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82916) - you deserved it (5014)

On 04/18/2009 at 12:44am - misc - by fmylifebadddd (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, the police posted a description of the car of a child abductor. As everyone slowed down to read the billboard, I realized that the car's description and license plate were very similar to mine. After getting death stares from passengers, I got pulled over. Twice. FML

#1043784
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57515) - you deserved it (2294)

On 04/17/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by eyeamcool (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that I had left my sunroof open all night during a storm and my front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel for my seat but didn't close my sunroof because it was nice out. As I pull out of my driveway, I felt something wet hit my forehead. A bird shit on me through my sunroof. FML

#1016784
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56630) - you deserved it (15330)

On 04/16/2009 at 10:38am - animals - by oops1234 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425
687 comments

I agree, your life sucks (704175) - you deserved it (56037)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, half asleep, I dropped my pill before I could take it. I quickly picked it up and washed it down. Five hours later, I just found my pill on the ground. What did I swallow? FML

#948871
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98922) - you deserved it (23130)

On 04/13/2009 at 12:12pm - misc - by anonymiss (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I called my favorite radio station over and over, trying to be the 40th caller to win sold-out concert tickets, each time holding my thumb over the button to quickly hang up and re-dial if busy. I finally got through and they congratulated me being the winning caller! By habit, I hung up. FML

Today, at a family Seder, (a Jewish service for Passover), my mom served matzah balls during the festive meal. Considering how much I love matzah balls and there aren't many options for me to eat because I'm a vegetarian, I shouted, "I like really big balls!" in front of my entire family. FML

#921004
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18377) - you deserved it (88187)

On 04/12/2009 at 12:27am - intimacy - by anon13 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at lunch I was running to my group's table with my friend. She accidentally tripped me, and I slid across the café floor face first on my belly. The whole cafeteria was silent. They then broke out in hysterics when the head janitor ran up to me and yelled 'SAFE!' like a baseball umpire. FML

#877965
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65838) - you deserved it (11049)

On 04/08/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by eun (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw the blueprints for my family's new house. My room is half the size of the room next to it. The room next to it is my step mom's walk-in closet. FML

#849768
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (167763) - you deserved it (9204)

On 04/07/2009 at 6:07am - misc - by Powerfool (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while working at a Subway store right next to a big hospital, there was a big line of people all getting their subs toasted. Without turning around, I asked the next person in line, "I'll bet you want yours extra toasted?" She was a burns victim from the hospital. FML

Today, we sparred for Tae Kwon Do. I forgot my cup, but I didn't think anyone sucked enough to hit me below the belt. 5 seconds into a match, some girl knees me in the happy sacks. After writhing in pain for 30 seconds, I got back up to spar. I didn't think she sucked enough to do it again. She did. FML

#763376
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59476) - you deserved it (28697)

On 04/02/2009 at 6:28am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)



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