About oneforceone : Here is some stuff that you are reading.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, while teaching at a daycare, a child came up to me and asked if he could go to the bathroom. Obviously, I said it was fine. He then pulled his pants down, and pee on my brand new shoes, and all over my leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35351) - you deserved it (3075)
On 06/20/2009 at 12:22am - kids - by Bob (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod and leaves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64476) - you deserved it (4196)
On 06/16/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by Tim (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I thought I saw a woodchuck far out in my yard. I wanted to take a cool picture of it so I slowly crept closer and closer to it. I spent half an hour sneaking up on a log. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13995) - you deserved it (44380)
On 06/14/2009 at 11:37pm - misc - by thelarkscaw (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML
I agree, your life sucks (98102) - you deserved it (56512)
On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was in the bathroom at the mall, when a homeless man came in mumbling to himself. Out of the 7 available urinals, he posted up at the one right beside me. Apparently he didn't get the memo that urinals aren't used to shit in. He talked to me the entire time. About his love life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53834) - you deserved it (2706)
On 06/09/2009 at 12:13pm - misc - by blah (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my cousin and I found out that when a girl puts a flower in the right side of her hair, it means she's available. The bigger the flower, the more available she is. My eleven year old boy cousin told me to "cut down a palm tree and put it in my hair". FML
I agree, your life sucks (56529) - you deserved it (5098)
On 06/06/2009 at 8:38pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, when petting my friend's dog, I acted like I was going to make out with him. While I wasn't looking the dog stuck his entire tongue in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8060) - you deserved it (59586)
On 06/06/2009 at 3:44pm - health - by thedogkisser (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I took a nap with a kitten I just adopted from my mom's house. To make her feel more comfortable, I took a nap with her on my bed. In my dream, I kept smelling poo and I felt around on the bed to find the kitten. She apparently had diarrhea on my bed and I had stuck my hand in it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33502) - you deserved it (5701)
On 06/05/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I was reading through a local wedding mag's advice page. A mother in law to be was writing about how to handle wanting her son to break off his engagement. I thought, "Wow. That must suck. I'm glad I like my mother in law to be." And then I saw her name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60117) - you deserved it (2136)
On 06/04/2009 at 7:11am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my dad asked me to move a potted plant from one side of the yard to the other. It looked like a very heavy pot, so I heaved it up with all my might. Turns out it was one of those heavy-looking ones that are actually light plastic. I fell over backwards and dumped dirt into my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36653) - you deserved it (16148)
On 06/04/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by ether10 (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was sitting in my basement watching IT. I heard a knocking at my door and turned the outside lights on to see a clown outside staring in at me. I freaked out and began screaming and jumping around like a Chihuahua on drugs. My friends told me it should be on YouTube within the week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43542) - you deserved it (6391)
On 05/29/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was getting my first tattoo done. My parents told me it was a bad idea. My friends' parents told me it was a bad idea. I told them that people get tattoos done all the time and nothing goes wrong. 50 min into the tattoo on my back, the artist says "Oh shit, shit, shit. We can fix this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28047) - you deserved it (39659)
On 05/28/2009 at 2:15pm - misc - by thats_not_good (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I had a job interview. I had to drop my daughter off with my babysitter first. When I got to the interview I got a weird look from the vice president of the company. I had lime green poop running down the side of my white blouse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42119) - you deserved it (963)
On 05/27/2009 at 2:15pm - kids - by boo (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I went to see Terminator. Not wanting to spend an outrageous amount of money at the concession stand, I sneaked a Dr. Pepper into the theater. I thought I had gotten away with it, until I opened the bottle and it exploded all over me and four other people that I didn't know. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10150) - you deserved it (43220)
On 05/26/2009 at 12:51am - misc - by embarrassed (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, was my sister's and dad's birthday. I accidentally mixed up the gifts I got for them and my dad ended up with a vibrator. He wasn't very happy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12691) - you deserved it (7635)
On 05/25/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by silvercity09 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Monday 17 June 2013
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