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oneforceone

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oneforceone

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2059
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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oneforceone's favorite FMLs

Today, after working an 11 hour shift, I decided to treat myself to a delicious Krispy Kreme doughnut. When I got home, I sat down, put my feet up, poured myself a cold glass of milk. My dog jumps on my lap and vomits all over my doughnuts, stares at me then bites the doughnut out of my hand. FML

#5522112
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38160) - you deserved it (4728)

On 09/28/2009 at 2:41am - animals - by Heww (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while on my first day off in 2 years, I decided to play online poker. I won over $3,000. While filling out my information to get the money the power went out. FML

#5450492
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45834) - you deserved it (4124)

On 09/24/2009 at 5:24pm - money - by shouldagone2work (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was trying to turn on my computer and couldn't. I spent twenty minutes trying to figure out what was wrong when I finally called my husband for help and made him leave work. He came in, looked at the wall, and plugged it back in. The look on his face said it all. FML

#5348863
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6329) - you deserved it (51086)

On 09/19/2009 at 10:10am - misc - by burnnotice (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML

#5291551
482 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9058) - you deserved it (103704)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:05pm - kids - by Mac - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went out drinking with my friends. At the end of the night I got a cab ride home. I must have passed out because when I woke up I wasn’t at my place, but my parent’s house, which is the address on my license…120 miles away. The fare was $220. FML

#5223643
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12031) - you deserved it (40444)

On 09/13/2009 at 4:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was having a really bad day and told my friend at lunch about how stressed I was and he gave me his brownie to cheer me up. After school, he texted me "Did the brownies kick in?" Yes, they did, right in the middle of my English presentation. They were "funny" brownies. FML

#5171509
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44296) - you deserved it (6808)

On 09/10/2009 at 5:34pm - misc - by englishclasshigh (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was sitting on a park bench with my very elderly grandfather while listening to music at a low volume. Suddenly, he turned to me and said very loudly, "I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD AIDS!" I received strange looks from everyone because he mistook my ear buds for a hearing aid. FML

#5150638
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37073) - you deserved it (4042)

On 09/09/2009 at 4:16pm - health - by Missy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized that the shorts I have been wearing all day say "Juicy" on the ass. My name is John. FML

#5136850
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12566) - you deserved it (48261)

On 09/08/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by JuicyJohn (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my dentist asked me about my fillings, so I told him that when I was younger, I had 2 cavities. He replied, "No you didn't. I just looked at your x-rays." Turns out my old dentist ripped me off. I never needed fillings. FML

#5061381
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42175) - you deserved it (2116)

On 09/05/2009 at 2:16pm - health - by itsjustnotfair (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was driving into a parking lot with some friends. I carelessly passed a sign when my friend said, "Wait what did that sign say?" I backed up to read it and guess what it said: "Severe Tire Damage. Do Not Back Up." Now all 4 of my tires are slashed. FML

#5006277
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15300) - you deserved it (38204)

On 09/02/2009 at 8:18pm - misc - by ooops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML

#4976961
420 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17805) - you deserved it (350948)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:05pm - work - by Hairball (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I woke up to the sounds of birds singing, the smell of butter pancakes in the air and thought to myself "Wow, today is going to be great day. I can feel it!" Excited, I jumped out of my bed and threw open the door to see my 58 year old mother doing her morning stretches in the nude. FML

#4803979
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42001) - you deserved it (3946)

On 08/25/2009 at 2:47am - animals - by MrMagicMan000 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at my grandfather's house and my car was low on gas. He said I could put some of his gas in my car. He accidentally gave me the wrong tank to pump it out of, and I put fuel in my car that he uses for his small plane. It never ran better until the engine exploded. FML

#4751851
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30584) - you deserved it (3296)

On 08/23/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by Boltz719 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my work finally hired someone to replace some leaky pipes at work. I work in the basement by myself, and just as I walk under the newly fixed pipes, I get soaked with water. Apparently it was connected to a toilet. My boss couldn't find a replacement so they made me work covered in piss. FML

#4748586
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28740) - you deserved it (1939)

On 08/22/2009 at 11:29pm - work - by lifestinks (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, it was my next-door neighbor's birthday. Over the past year, his pitbull has attacked my stepdad several times and put some stiches on me. Lucky for us, the dog was finally put down. For his birthday my neighbor got a new, bigger, pitbull. FML

#4739824
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31902) - you deserved it (5019)

On 08/22/2009 at 5:07pm - animals - by ShockBait (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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