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oneforceone

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oneforceone

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3196
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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oneforceone's favorite FMLs

Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML

#5291551
482 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10217) - you deserved it (109960)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:05pm - kids - by Mac - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went out drinking with my friends. At the end of the night I got a cab ride home. I must have passed out because when I woke up I wasn’t at my place, but my parent’s house, which is the address on my license…120 miles away. The fare was $220. FML

#5223643
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13662) - you deserved it (43010)

On 09/13/2009 at 4:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was having a really bad day and told my friend at lunch about how stressed I was and he gave me his brownie to cheer me up. After school, he texted me "Did the brownies kick in?" Yes, they did, right in the middle of my English presentation. They were "funny" brownies. FML

#5171509
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47574) - you deserved it (7166)

On 09/10/2009 at 5:34pm - misc - by englishclasshigh (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was sitting on a park bench with my very elderly grandfather while listening to music at a low volume. Suddenly, he turned to me and said very loudly, "I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD AIDS!" I received strange looks from everyone because he mistook my ear buds for a hearing aid. FML

#5150638
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40174) - you deserved it (4343)

On 09/09/2009 at 4:16pm - health - by Missy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized that the shorts I have been wearing all day say "Juicy" on the ass. My name is John. FML

#5136850
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12695) - you deserved it (48570)

On 09/08/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by JuicyJohn (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my dentist asked me about my fillings, so I told him that when I was younger, I had 2 cavities. He replied, "No you didn't. I just looked at your x-rays." Turns out my old dentist ripped me off. I never needed fillings. FML

#5061381
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44637) - you deserved it (2278)

On 09/05/2009 at 2:16pm - health - by itsjustnotfair (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was driving into a parking lot with some friends. I carelessly passed a sign when my friend said, "Wait what did that sign say?" I backed up to read it and guess what it said: "Severe Tire Damage. Do Not Back Up." Now all 4 of my tires are slashed. FML

#5006277
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16239) - you deserved it (39971)

On 09/02/2009 at 8:18pm - misc - by ooops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML

#4976961
433 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18684) - you deserved it (373809)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:05pm - work - by Hairball (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I woke up to the sounds of birds singing, the smell of butter pancakes in the air and thought to myself "Wow, today is going to be great day. I can feel it!" Excited, I jumped out of my bed and threw open the door to see my 58 year old mother doing her morning stretches in the nude. FML

#4803979
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44502) - you deserved it (4157)

On 08/25/2009 at 2:47am - animals - by MrMagicMan000 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at my grandfather's house and my car was low on gas. He said I could put some of his gas in my car. He accidentally gave me the wrong tank to pump it out of, and I put fuel in my car that he uses for his small plane. It never ran better until the engine exploded. FML

#4751851
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33766) - you deserved it (3579)

On 08/23/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by Boltz719 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my work finally hired someone to replace some leaky pipes at work. I work in the basement by myself, and just as I walk under the newly fixed pipes, I get soaked with water. Apparently it was connected to a toilet. My boss couldn't find a replacement so they made me work covered in piss. FML

#4748586
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31697) - you deserved it (2160)

On 08/22/2009 at 11:29pm - work - by lifestinks (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, it was my next-door neighbor's birthday. Over the past year, his pitbull has attacked my stepdad several times and put some stiches on me. Lucky for us, the dog was finally put down. For his birthday my neighbor got a new, bigger, pitbull. FML

#4739824
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34876) - you deserved it (5515)

On 08/22/2009 at 5:07pm - animals - by ShockBait (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was driving on the freeway and there was a dead animal (I think a cat) in the road. The car in front of me decided to merge over. It kicked up part of the dead animal and sent it flying through my open window. I think I got hit in the face with a piece of foot. FML

#4571897
103 comments

Today, I was looking over the schedule for errors and circled a group of mistakes before handing it to my manager. When she handed it back to me, she gave me a weird look and I immediately noticed that the group of numbers I had circled formed a giant penis shape on the paper. FML

#4525349
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40814) - you deserved it (6157)

On 08/14/2009 at 1:01pm - work - by dumblond (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML

#4503474
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13226) - you deserved it (139376)

On 08/13/2009 at 3:47pm - health - by Nick (man) - United States (Minnesota)



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