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About oneforceone : Here is some stuff that you are reading.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, my boyfriend of seven months and I were looking at some pictures on his iPad. I saw a picture of a kid of about two years old that looked a little like him. I jokingly said, "What, is that your son?" Imagine my surprise when he said that it was. FML
Today, I was brushing my teeth when I looked up. There was a huge scorpion dangling on the air vent above my head. I was trapped in the bathroom for over an hour trying to build the courage to run out. FML
Today, I went to the bookstore and saw a stunning girl reading. I walked over and picked up a book, thinking our two books were the same category, hence a good conversation starter. She looked at me, and I pointed at my book and smiled. After that, she left. It was a sex position book. FML
Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML
Today, I stepped out for some fresh air while I waited for my clothes to dry at the laundromat. Just as I was retrieving my clothes, a disheveled-looking kid staggered over, pushed me aside, and started vomiting his guts out all over my fresh clothes. FML
Today, I was having a funny conversation with a guy I had met on Xbox. I told him the state I lived in, and he said, "Don't tell me that, I might stalk you." He wasn't kidding. He has somehow found out my phone number, and my address. He says he's going to send me flowers. FML
Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML
Today, I had an interview for my dream job. I was offered coffee and a donut. It was going well until I took a bite of the donut and started choking on it. I coughed so hard I ended up vomiting into his garbage can. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML
Today, my sister, knowing that I'm terrified of his face, taped a picture of Michael Jackson over our toilet. When I entered the washroom, I sprinted back out screaming. Minutes later, while in the shower, I happened to glance up at the ceiling. Guess who was grinning down at me. FML
Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML