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oneforceone

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oneforceone

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1772
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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oneforceone's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML

#19917515
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13095) - you deserved it (24585)

On 07/10/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Concert Flatulent - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother was leaving the house to attend her sister's funeral. Just as she was walking out the door, my brain experienced the most horrific shart imaginable, and I uttered through my reassuring smile, "Have a blast." FML

#19915289
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7985) - you deserved it (20857)

On 07/09/2012 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today, I'm having heart surgery. The doc came in, donut in one hand and papers in another. While I was filling them out, his hands kept trembling, and he dropped the donut on the floor. He fumbled to pick it up and kept eating. The guy I'm entrusting my life to doesn't even respect the five-second rule. FML

#19914869
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24678) - you deserved it (1967)

On 07/09/2012 at 2:25pm - health - by deadman (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, I'm having heart surgery. The doc came in, donut in one hand and papers in another. While I was filling them out, his hands kept trembling, and he dropped the donut on the floor. He fumbled to pick it up and kept eating. The guy I'm entrusting my life to doesn't even respect the five-second rule. FML

#19914869
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24678) - you deserved it (1967)

On 07/09/2012 at 2:25pm - health - by deadman (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, my boyfriend of seven months and I were looking at some pictures on his iPad. I saw a picture of a kid of about two years old that looked a little like him. I jokingly said, "What, is that your son?" Imagine my surprise when he said that it was. FML

Today, I was brushing my teeth when I looked up. There was a huge scorpion dangling on the air vent above my head. I was trapped in the bathroom for over an hour trying to build the courage to run out. FML

#19908614
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20303) - you deserved it (5810)

On 07/08/2012 at 5:47am - animals - by scorpionsurviver - United States

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

#19903364
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29757) - you deserved it (3565)

On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I caught my elderly neighbour skinny-dipping in my pool. FML

#19871272
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22310) - you deserved it (1881)

On 06/30/2012 at 12:22pm - misc - by babyeaternomnom (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the bookstore and saw a stunning girl reading. I walked over and picked up a book, thinking our two books were the same category, hence a good conversation starter. She looked at me, and I pointed at my book and smiled. After that, she left. It was a sex position book. FML

#19853793
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7462) - you deserved it (32753)

On 06/27/2012 at 12:39am - misc - by deli Shoppe - United States (California)

Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML

#19846265
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25996) - you deserved it (15672)

On 06/25/2012 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I stepped out for some fresh air while I waited for my clothes to dry at the laundromat. Just as I was retrieving my clothes, a disheveled-looking kid staggered over, pushed me aside, and started vomiting his guts out all over my fresh clothes. FML

#19833959
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22953) - you deserved it (1544)

On 06/23/2012 at 12:59pm - misc - by herpmonster (woman) - Italy

Today, I was having a funny conversation with a guy I had met on Xbox. I told him the state I lived in, and he said, "Don't tell me that, I might stalk you." He wasn't kidding. He has somehow found out my phone number, and my address. He says he's going to send me flowers. FML

#19828397
271 comments

Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML

#19817936
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21789) - you deserved it (5790)

On 06/20/2012 at 10:09am - animals - by anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I bought some beef jerky. As I put the first piece in my mouth, I thought to myself, "Wow, this is tough enough to break a tooth." It was. FML

#19816534
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21672) - you deserved it (2984)

On 06/20/2012 at 1:22am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had an interview for my dream job. I was offered coffee and a donut. It was going well until I took a bite of the donut and started choking on it. I coughed so hard I ended up vomiting into his garbage can. FML

#19781489
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23519) - you deserved it (3223)

On 06/13/2012 at 10:50am - work - by lonelyharts86 - Canada (Ontario)



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