Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

onefinemess

Search for a member

onefinemess
  • Town/Country : Lawndale, United States
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 March 1986 (28 years)
  • Number of visits : 540
  • Number of comments : 65
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

onefinemess's last visitors

ErewethwenTEZZmiyaviichanAzureHeirChaosBlitzCovenant74jesernoobTheRealFamilyGuyPandaLoverXDlmc94

onefinemess's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of onefinemess's badges

onefinemess's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend left me for my step-sister. He's been cheating on me with her for the past 6 months, and got her pregnant. I also found out that my stomach pains are due to the fact that I'm also pregnant. My family could officially qualify for Jerry Springer. FML

#14068536
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56336) - you deserved it (8347)

On 12/03/2010 at 3:56am - intimacy - by Annonmyus -

Today, my grandma walked into my room and asked if the thing lying on my nightstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma, that's a clock.'' After staring at me, confused for a few seconds, she then farted, and left my room. FML

#13949092
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36643) - you deserved it (5023)

On 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a job interview. When I got there, the lady interviewing me shook my hand and said, 'Hello, I'm gay.' I found this strange and I didn't know what to say, so I stated, 'Aw, it's OK, I support you.' She looked pretty offended, and I realized why when I found out that her name was Gaye. FML

#13711659
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31461) - you deserved it (15225)

On 11/04/2010 at 5:18am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was walking by a pond when I saw a small frog. I decided to catch it to get a close look. After I picked it up, I realized that it was not a frog. It was dog shit shaped like a frog. FML

#7776158
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10679) - you deserved it (32007)

On 02/01/2010 at 9:34am - animals - by adad - Sent from mobile version

Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML

#5724132
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40015) - you deserved it (2867)

On 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

#5663418
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45839) - you deserved it (3717)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, it's my birthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The first one was my fiancé, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancé for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office singing me a happy birthday. FML

#1930337
391 comments

I agree, your life sucks (331501) - you deserved it (15761)

On 05/14/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up to find The Sims 2 running on pause on my laptop. I unpaused to find my character and my boyfriend's were no longer together. Slightly confused, I went on to find the note my boyfriend left. It said, "I hope you can take a hint." I got dumped through a computer game. FML

#927368
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78864) - you deserved it (4885)

On 04/12/2009 at 2:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out he's my cousin: priceless. FML



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: