onefinemess

Search for a member

onefinemess

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 March 1986 (30 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1037
  • Number of comments : 65
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

onefinemess's page activity

Visits<b>LordlyFountain0</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 1:37pm<b>Mortoli</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 11:11am<b>cp399</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 11:03pm<b>Qmathmath</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 2:00am<b>Erewethwen</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 10:40am<b>weedle99</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 1:48am<b>TEZZ</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 5:21am<b>miyaviichan</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 2:46pm<b>AzureHeir</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 1:03am<b>ChaosBlitz</b> - the 05/07/2013 at 11:01pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 3:41pm<b>jesernoob</b> - the 12/31/2012 at 3:07am<b>TheRealFamilyGuy</b> - the 12/28/2012 at 2:52am<b>PandaLoverXD</b> - the 01/30/2012 at 9:49pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 12/07/2011 at 10:49pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 10/13/2011 at 10:14am<b>KirstyDragon</b> - the 10/04/2011 at 8:15pm<b>Riiley</b> - the 09/25/2011 at 6:00pm

onefinemess's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of onefinemess's badges

onefinemess's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend left me for my step-sister. He's been cheating on me with her for the past 6 months, and got her pregnant. I also found out that my stomach pains are due to the fact that I'm also pregnant. My family could officially qualify for Jerry Springer. FML

by Annonmyus / 12/03/2010 at 3:56am / Intimacy

Today, my grandma walked into my room and asked if the thing lying on my nightstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma, that's a clock.'' After staring at me, confused for a few seconds, she then farted, and left my room. FML

by Anonymous / 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a job interview. When I got there, the lady interviewing me shook my hand and said, 'Hello, I'm gay.' I found this strange and I didn't know what to say, so I stated, 'Aw, it's OK, I support you.' She looked pretty offended, and I realized why when I found out that her name was Gaye. FML

by Anonymous / 11/04/2010 at 5:18am / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, I was walking by a pond when I saw a small frog. I decided to catch it to get a close look. After I picked it up, I realized that it was not a frog. It was dog shit shaped like a frog. FML

by adad / 02/01/2010 at 9:34am / Animals

Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm / United Kingdom / Transportation

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

by APetsPet / 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML

by mandy / 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year old dad. Why? He was caught stealing candy. FML

by ahhahaha / 08/11/2009 at 11:07pm / United States (New Mexico) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, it's my birthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The first one was my fiancé, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancé for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office singing me a happy birthday. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2009 at 1:43pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to find The Sims 2 running on pause on my laptop. I unpaused to find my character and my boyfriend's were no longer together. Slightly confused, I went on to find the note my boyfriend left. It said, "I hope you can take a hint." I got dumped through a computer game. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2009 at 2:11pm / United States (California) / Geek

Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out he's my cousin: priceless. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2009 at 2:42pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy