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onefinemess

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onefinemess

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 March 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 642
  • Number of comments : 65
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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onefinemess's favorite FMLs

Today, I was robbed by a guy wearing a ninja turtle costume. FML

#17044811
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40211) - you deserved it (6210)

On 07/09/2011 at 8:19pm - money - by Lame (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML

#17032745
375 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10454) - you deserved it (75584) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/08/2011 at 8:11pm - love - by Anonyme - Sent from mobile version

Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML

#17023204
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36034) - you deserved it (4348)

On 07/08/2011 at 1:23am - misc - by Yoda (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for 3 years. She's pregnant. I'm a virgin. FML

#17023153
351 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52832) - you deserved it (10538)

On 07/08/2011 at 1:19am - love - by Nick (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I have a cold. Trying to clear out my stuffy nose, I tried putting mouthwash in my nose. Thinking it was an awesome idea, I put some more in. I then starting screaming in pain due to the extreme burning in my nostrils. FML

#16997621
391 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7323) - you deserved it (108344)

On 07/06/2011 at 5:17am - health - by Fmylife (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine" written on the side of it in sharpie pen. In exchange for my soul. FML

#16993109
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33750) - you deserved it (3608)

On 07/05/2011 at 10:54pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, while using the restroom at work, I dropped my keys into the toilet. I left to find something to get them out and figured nobody would use a toilet with keys in it. I came back to a bowl of dung and "Shit happens" written on the wall in lipstick. FML

#16980115
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31736) - you deserved it (7569)

On 07/05/2011 at 12:04am - work - by Stacy - United States

Today, my sister confessed to me that she sold some of my old shirts to the girl who's stalking me. This explains why I got a note that read, "I have your scent, now I can track you." FML

#16965226
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41052) - you deserved it (2608)

On 07/03/2011 at 8:27pm - misc - by beablue18 - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, I went to the carnival with a guy I like. When we went on the big scary ride where you flip upside down a lot, he asked me to be his girlfriend. Then, I threw up on him. FML

#16944074
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38535) - you deserved it (4227)

On 07/02/2011 at 1:33am - love - by Amanda - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML

#16860650
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38805) - you deserved it (15607)

On 06/26/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

#16399874
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60136) - you deserved it (12577)

On 05/29/2011 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML

#16234467
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65070) - you deserved it (4468)

On 05/18/2011 at 3:57am - intimacy - by Jackedup (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

#16217085
441 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37785) - you deserved it (10277)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -

Today, my mom confused me with my dad. She got in the shower with me. FML

#15883377
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80651) - you deserved it (6032)

On 04/22/2011 at 7:11am - intimacy - by Damian -

Today, I noticed this guy crying in the park. I went up to him to see what was wrong. Apparently his girlfriend broke up with him, and he also said he wanted to kill himself. My first response was "Don't, you'll regret it later in life". FML

#15869241
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30569) - you deserved it (12282)

On 04/21/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by alopez1994 -



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