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About omgnowailol : OM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM.
RRAAAARRL.
LOL WUT?
OH SHI--
FFFFFFFFUUU--
....
OMGNOWAILOL.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend over webcam with a cute negligee. He was doing homework. Half an hour later, he finally noticed. Apparently pre-calc is more interesting than his girlfriend. I guess polynomials are just curvier than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11975) - you deserved it (24849)
On 10/07/2009 at 12:39am - love - by NotAParabola (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was hanging out with my best friend. I have been getting these random explicit texts and phone calls so I just joking said to my friend, "I think someone wrote my number on a bathroom stall." At which point he said, "Sorry, I didn't think people really called those numbers." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30973) - you deserved it (2180)
On 09/13/2009 at 11:57am - misc - by Casden (man) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, it was my birthday. My parents came into my room at 12:01 to surprise me. Do you know what fifteen year olds do at midnight? FML
I agree, your life sucks (35508) - you deserved it (16214)
On 08/22/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by urmommmm (man) - United States (New York)
Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I was frantically searching for my cell phone. He was curious as to what I was doing so I told him. There was long silence followed by laughter. He could hardly breathe as he told me, "Honey you're on your phone talking to me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8487) - you deserved it (53564)
On 08/17/2009 at 8:16pm - misc - by hunnydoll (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML
I agree, your life sucks (48586) - you deserved it (7527)
On 08/16/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I literally stopped traffic. I was crossing the street and a butterfly landed on me. Being phobic of butterflies, I had a panic attack in the middle of the road. Oh, and I am 17, captain of our football team, and in very good shape. My girlfriend laughed the hardest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32140) - you deserved it (15887)
On 08/14/2009 at 1:10pm - animals - by Butterflyguy (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I found out that I was adopted, now my gay brother thinks it's acceptable to tell me that he's always wanted to have sex with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (77880) - you deserved it (3144)
On 08/12/2009 at 11:13pm - intimacy - by JPF (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I found out that doctors can be wrong. Pink clothes, pink stroller, pink bottles, pink bibs, pink cribs and pink bedding to go with my baby that recently came out with a little pink penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44296) - you deserved it (14695)
On 08/12/2009 at 7:36pm - kids - by Ouch (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, as a joke, my friends and I decided to put me in a dress and makeup, to creep out a friend. I'm a guy. I'm not sure which is worse, the fact that I so willingly volunteered to wear the dress and the makeup, or the fact that I thought it was comfy and made me look slim. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8669) - you deserved it (37231)
On 08/09/2009 at 3:31am - misc - by twitch01 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of random names she thought of, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56824) - you deserved it (11487)
On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "radiance ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "radiance ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48297) - you deserved it (22972)
On 07/10/2009 at 1:03pm - misc - by takinabreak (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I snuck into my brother's room to scare him. Just as I was about to go for it, his girlfriend calls. I had to sit there motionless listening to my brother having phone sex, then wait for him to go to sleep and sneak back out to pretend it never happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17391) - you deserved it (42070)
On 07/10/2009 at 1:27am - intimacy - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend of 5 years admitted why his pet name for me is "his beautiful swan". Apparently, the first few years we were dating, he and his friends secretly referred to me as "the ugly duckling" because my sister was so much hotter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45017) - you deserved it (2138)
On 07/09/2009 at 1:50pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boss walked in my office to see me busy making a little Post-it dress for my pen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9163) - you deserved it (38667)
On 07/09/2009 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - France (Midi-Pyrenees)
Today, my mom found a book of dirty stories I'd written in grade 10. She then told me that I wrote about things she'd never even thought about, and she's been having sex for years. If that wasn't bad enough, she's taken them in to work to show people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38266) - you deserved it (6962)
On 07/04/2009 at 12:52pm - intimacy - by JSeth (man) - Canada (Ontario)
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