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omgfmlddb

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omgfmlddb
  • Town/Country : Brisbane, Australia
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 31 January 1993 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 49
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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omgfmlddb's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter called me telling me she had her twin girls. She named them Juli and Anne. Her name is Julianne. Her kids are going to fucking hate her. FML

#20141194
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24262) - you deserved it (2421)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:01am - kids - by poorkids (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I'm having heart surgery. The doc came in, donut in one hand and papers in another. While I was filling them out, his hands kept trembling, and he dropped the donut on the floor. He fumbled to pick it up and kept eating. The guy I'm entrusting my life to doesn't even respect the five-second rule. FML

#19914869
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19409) - you deserved it (1332)

On 07/09/2012 at 2:25pm - health - by deadman (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, I proudly told my elitist dad that I now have a beautiful girlfriend. He didn't believe me, so I showed him her Facebook. He demanded that I stop seeing her, saying that the duck-facing in her avatar was the hallmark of "a lower form of being" who would only ever shame our family. FML

#19778453
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9308) - you deserved it (23685)

On 06/12/2012 at 7:39pm - love - by idontgetit (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

#18083202
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34139) - you deserved it (3973)

On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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