omfgshiz

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omfgshiz

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 16 May 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 758
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About omfgshiz : Oh hai.

I like broccolis.

.__.

Kthxbai.

omfgshiz's page activity

Visits<b>heirofhope</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 10:01pm<b>luna123</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 12:09am<b>stevethellama</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 3:05pm<b>shaar</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 2:57am<b>xDochx</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 12:48am<b>ladybug5546</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 4:27pm<b>Antonia583</b> - the 01/22/2013 at 5:54pm<b>Crowe_Dovahkiin</b> - the 05/21/2012 at 10:55pm<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 05/21/2012 at 2:50pm<b>blackpuddle</b> - the 05/21/2012 at 10:08am

Fucked!<b>luna123</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 6:10am

omfgshiz's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of omfgshiz's badges

omfgshiz's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that if I turn my shower off for a minute, then back on again, the water comes out scalding hot. I discovered that while the showerhead was pointed directly at my genitals. FML

by Anonymous / 01/01/2013 at 2:34pm / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Miscellaneous

Today, at a restaurant, I happily watched as my boyfriend of three years got down on his knees and proposed to me. Before I could say yes and hug him, a girl flung herself at him, kissed him and shouted, "Yes!" With us still highly confused, she then ran away. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2012 at 1:29am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML

by ultraattitude / 04/22/2012 at 3:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally asked some friends to read the beginning of a novel that I'd been slaving away at. One of them said it was the literary equivalent of aquarium gravel. Another asked if I'd been sniffing boot polish while writing it. FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2012 at 12:46am / United States (Nevada) / Work

Today, while vacuuming my new apartment, I farted a few times. After my last fart, I turned to find my super-hot neighbor standing at the door. Panicking, I asked in a "I-didn't-just-fart-my-ass" tone, "Oh hi! Been standing there for long?" She replied, "Since your initial rip." FML

by Fartfail / 04/18/2012 at 9:43am / Hong Kong / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to put together some flat-pack furniture. I wound up in my underpants, screaming stuff like, "Fuck you, fucking Ikea bastard" at pieces of confusing plywood. FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2012 at 3:18am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML

by lindsaykay / 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my daughter told me that when she dies, she'd like her ashes spread on her laptop. FML

by sigh / 04/15/2012 at 11:10pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML

by lifeonfire12 / 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm / Canada / Intimacy

Today, another of my dad's blind dates went bad, so I took him out for a beer. I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and when I came back, two guys were congratulating my dad on scoring such a hot piece of ass, and said the sex must be awesome. My dad played along with it. FML

by jonasister / 04/15/2012 at 2:43pm / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Intimacy

Today, my parents invited my Muslim boyfriend over for dinner for the first time. My mother made sure that everything including the salad had pork in it. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2012 at 7:10am / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Love

Today, as a medical student working in a hospital, I asked a patient if he had any questions for me or his physician. His only question: whether or not my breasts are real. FML

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my daughter trying to blow-dry the sweat off her armpits instead of showering. FML

by crazydaughter / 04/12/2012 at 8:51am / Egypt / Kids

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML

by girly / 04/12/2012 at 12:06am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy