oliviaorourke

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oliviaorourke

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1948
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About oliviaorourke : I love life.

oliviaorourke's page activity

Visits<b>flyingflies</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 3:23pm<b>phoenixx22</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 10:50pm<b>cheyluvsturtles</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 8:37pm<b>arich6210</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 4:33pm<b>BrotherPhil</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 6:07am<b>Addiction333</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 9:42pm<b>TyroneLeBron</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 11:58am<b>rcarn</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 10:38pm<b>lungjiao</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 4:39pm<b>JustCauseRalph</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 10:47am<b>gunzerker</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 4:51am<b>velocityraptor</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 5:54pm<b>Kitty_Kat44</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 7:26pm<b>americanafrican</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 7:08am<b>georgemac</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 2:26am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 3:43pm<b>allforyoux3</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 5:41pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 3:10am

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oliviaorourke's favorite FMLs

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

by Anonymous / 01/01/2012 at 2:34am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the doctor's thinking I had a UTI. Turns out I have an STD. FML

by Anonymous / 12/16/2011 at 9:25am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML

by Anonymous / 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm / United States / Love

Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML

by unknown52 / 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm / Netherlands (Overijssel) / Health

Today, I finally met the cute guy I've been seeing around town. Bad news is, I was drunk off my ass, and when he told me his name, I burst out laughing because it's the same as my puppy's. He did not take it well. FML

by Anonymous / 11/28/2011 at 10:31am / Love

Today, I introduced my Chinese-born girlfriend to the rest of the family. My uncle immediately blurted out, "He's dating a communist." FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2011 at 12:23am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I found out the people I babysit for have a nanny cam. Problem is, when I'm there, I act out scenarios in which I have the sweetest boyfriend. I also say his parts out loud in a man's voice. FML

by Laura / 10/08/2011 at 12:49am / United States / Work

Today, I got my tongue pierced, then went to a pet store. A clerk came up to ask if I needed help. I showed him I already had some fish, and said, "No thanks." He must have thought I was "special," as he bent down and in a baby voice, said "You got fishy? FISHY FISHY FISHY!" while poking the bag. FML

by aprilfools22 / 08/17/2011 at 4:13am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while watching tv at my mother's house, a tornado warning came across the screen. After being in the dark nasty basement for half an hour, my mom realizes she was watching a recorded show, and that tornado warning was for 2 weeks ago. FML

by cargaljen / 08/07/2011 at 1:29am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, while watching tv at my mother's house, a tornado warning came across the screen. After being in the dark nasty basement for half an hour, my mom realizes she was watching a recorded show, and that tornado warning was for 2 weeks ago. FML

by cargaljen / 08/07/2011 at 1:29am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

by ohcrap / 08/02/2011 at 12:58am / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, in health class, I raised my hand and asked if you could get an STD from dogs. I have officially now ruined any extremely small chance I had of being popular. FML

by loser4life / 07/30/2011 at 12:38am / United States (Colorado) / Animals

Today, at a campfire, I whipped out my guitar to serenade this girl I like with a Nick Drake song. When I was done, she said it was nice, but that my singing voice sounds a bit like the Swedish Chef from the Muppet Show. A couple of people nearby burst out laughing in agreement. FML

by Branski / 07/28/2011 at 8:27pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I introduced my first serious boyfriend to my mother over dinner. He is Asian. My mom insisted on calling him "Ching Chong". His name is Kevin. FML

by asianlover / 06/30/2011 at 3:24am / Finland (Western Finland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

by omg / 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids