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oliviaorourke

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oliviaorourke
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 508
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About oliviaorourke : I love life.

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oliviaorourke's favorite FMLs

Today, some guy asked me if he could borrow my lighter. I said "of course," reached into my handbag, and gave him the lighter. He stared at me for a few seconds until I realised I'd given him a tampax. FML

#20011526
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18276) - you deserved it (4178)

On 08/09/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by mary - United Kingdom

Today, I was rotated to the graveyard shift at my job. My only co-worker is a twenty-something Paris Hilton wannabe who won't shut up about her belief that she's the reincarnation of Whitney Houston. FML

#20002582
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20702) - you deserved it (1499)

On 08/04/2012 at 6:15pm - misc - by bellsucker - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I slammed the car door on my head while I was getting in the car. If that wasn't bad enough, my boyfriend is convinced I now have a concussion and insists on waking me up every hour to make sure I'm still alive. FML

#20001841
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16100) - you deserved it (4823)

On 08/04/2012 at 5:33am - health - by MAC. - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to be nice and pay a social visit to my slightly deranged grandpa. I ended up politely sitting through two hours of him lecturing me on how he "invented the modern tap", then on how sex is an Illuminati invention to "give sluts the STDs they need to kill us all". FML

#20000913
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15846) - you deserved it (1571)

On 08/03/2012 at 7:50pm - misc - by yeah okay then (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I finally met my daughter's boyfriend. He has a face tattoo. FML

#19988981
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26081) - you deserved it (4929)

On 07/28/2012 at 12:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML

#19986519
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20516) - you deserved it (1552)

On 07/27/2012 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I came out to my mom as a lesbian. She told me that it was impossible, because since she isn't one, she therefore couldn't have given birth to one. She still won't believe me. FML

#19984576
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23763) - you deserved it (3217)

On 07/26/2012 at 1:04am - misc - by Just Me (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML

#19983789
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24467) - you deserved it (1862)

On 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm - work - by justlittleoldme - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my mom got a new puppy and named her Olivia. Which would be fine, if that wasn't the name I had been planning to give my baby, who's due in 3 weeks. Thanks mom. FML

#19983667
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24493) - you deserved it (1967)

On 07/25/2012 at 3:46pm - kids - by madmomma - United States (Oregon)

Today, my neighbor called me on vacation to tell me that she let my mother into my house to feed my fish. I don't have fish, and my mother passed away 3 years ago. FML

#19978365
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27322) - you deserved it (1846)

On 07/22/2012 at 11:48pm - misc - by My_Name_Is_Zach -

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my sister, but they already knew each other from my sister's work. She's an exotic dancer. FML

#19966736
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17973) - you deserved it (1527)

On 07/21/2012 at 2:18am - misc - by Closingwild - Mexico (Jalisco)

Today, I searched our neighborhood for our lost dog. After screaming at the top of our lungs, driving around in circles, and asking strangers, we realized we took him to the groomers this morning. FML

#19960444
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4352) - you deserved it (25689)

On 07/19/2012 at 7:56pm - animals - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was entering a guy's number into my phone, and I couldn't remember his name. Embarrassed, I tried to be sneaky and asked, "Can you spell your name for me, please?" His name is Bob. FML

#19861298
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8339) - you deserved it (24799) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/28/2012 at 3:58pm - misc - by Bernadette (woman) -

Today, my grandmother said she's noticed that I've been very angry lately. She came to the conclusion that I "haven't been laid enough" and my boyfriend is "not doing his job." Thanks Grandma. FML

#19855906
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23587) - you deserved it (4115)

On 06/27/2012 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by RatCityChick - United States (Washington)

Today, a homeless man tried to sell me a "magic, one-finger glove". It was a used condom. FML

#19838531
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24207) - you deserved it (2049)

On 06/24/2012 at 10:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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