oliviaorourke

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oliviaorourke

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1491
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About oliviaorourke : I love life.

oliviaorourke's page activity

Visits<b>arich6210</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 4:33pm<b>BrotherPhil</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 6:07am<b>Addiction333</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 9:42pm<b>TyroneLeBron</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 11:58am<b>rcarn</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 10:38pm<b>lungjiao</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 4:39pm<b>JustCauseRalph</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 10:47am<b>gunzerker</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 4:51am<b>velocityraptor</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 5:54pm<b>Kitty_Kat44</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 7:26pm<b>americanafrican</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 7:08am<b>georgemac</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 2:26am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 3:43pm<b>allforyoux3</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 5:41pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 3:10am<b>cwl727</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 2:17pm<b>snydeeli000</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 6:38pm<b>uiuhj</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 11:03pm

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oliviaorourke's favorite FMLs

Today, some guy asked me if he could borrow my lighter. I said "of course," reached into my handbag, and gave him the lighter. He stared at me for a few seconds until I realised I'd given him a tampax. FML

by mary / 08/09/2012 at 2:10pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I was rotated to the graveyard shift at my job. My only co-worker is a twenty-something Paris Hilton wannabe who won't shut up about her belief that she's the reincarnation of Whitney Houston. FML

by bellsucker / 08/04/2012 at 6:15pm / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, I slammed the car door on my head while I was getting in the car. If that wasn't bad enough, my boyfriend is convinced I now have a concussion and insists on waking me up every hour to make sure I'm still alive. FML

by MAC. / 08/04/2012 at 5:33am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I decided to be nice and pay a social visit to my slightly deranged grandpa. I ended up politely sitting through two hours of him lecturing me on how he "invented the modern tap", then on how sex is an Illuminati invention to "give sluts the STDs they need to kill us all". FML

by yeah okay then / 08/03/2012 at 7:50pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally met my daughter's boyfriend. He has a face tattoo. FML

by Anonymous / 07/28/2012 at 12:02pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML

by Anonymous / 07/27/2012 at 12:46am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I came out to my mom as a lesbian. She told me that it was impossible, because since she isn't one, she therefore couldn't have given birth to one. She still won't believe me. FML

by Just Me / 07/26/2012 at 1:04am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML

by justlittleoldme / 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, my mom got a new puppy and named her Olivia. Which would be fine, if that wasn't the name I had been planning to give my baby, who's due in 3 weeks. Thanks mom. FML

by madmomma / 07/25/2012 at 3:46pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, my neighbor called me on vacation to tell me that she let my mother into my house to feed my fish. I don't have fish, and my mother passed away 3 years ago. FML

by My_Name_Is_Zach / 07/22/2012 at 11:48pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my sister, but they already knew each other from my sister's work. She's an exotic dancer. FML

by Closingwild / 07/21/2012 at 2:18am / Mexico (Jalisco) / Miscellaneous

Today, I searched our neighborhood for our lost dog. After screaming at the top of our lungs, driving around in circles, and asking strangers, we realized we took him to the groomers this morning. FML

by anonymous / 07/19/2012 at 7:56pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was entering a guy's number into my phone, and I couldn't remember his name. Embarrassed, I tried to be sneaky and asked, "Can you spell your name for me, please?" His name is Bob. FML

by Bernadette / 06/28/2012 at 3:58pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandmother said she's noticed that I've been very angry lately. She came to the conclusion that I "haven't been laid enough" and my boyfriend is "not doing his job." Thanks Grandma. FML

by RatCityChick / 06/27/2012 at 1:18pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, a homeless man tried to sell me a "magic, one-finger glove". It was a used condom. FML

by Anonymous / 06/24/2012 at 10:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy