oliviaorourke

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oliviaorourke

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1489
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About oliviaorourke : I love life.

oliviaorourke's page activity

Visits<b>arich6210</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 4:33pm<b>BrotherPhil</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 6:07am<b>Addiction333</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 9:42pm<b>TyroneLeBron</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 11:58am<b>rcarn</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 10:38pm<b>lungjiao</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 4:39pm<b>JustCauseRalph</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 10:47am<b>gunzerker</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 4:51am<b>velocityraptor</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 5:54pm<b>Kitty_Kat44</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 7:26pm<b>americanafrican</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 7:08am<b>georgemac</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 2:26am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 3:43pm<b>allforyoux3</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 5:41pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 3:10am<b>cwl727</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 2:17pm<b>snydeeli000</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 6:38pm<b>uiuhj</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 11:03pm

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oliviaorourke's favorite FMLs

Today, I got sent to the principal's office because my Dad decided that instead of signing his name, he would sign, "Ms. Bigtits", because he wanted to make sure the teachers were paying attention to what their students handed in. FML

by PerpetuallyHappy / 09/25/2012 at 7:20pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, thinking I was alone in my house, I went downstairs in my underwear, singing at the top of my voice. I strutted into the kitchen to find two middle-aged men I'd never seen before sat at the kitchen table, drinking coffee. Turns out they will be painting our house for the next two weeks. FML

by Anonymous / 09/18/2012 at 10:48am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, my nitwit son infected our family computer with some sort of mad bastard virus after getting fooled by the promise of some non-existent Hannah Montana nudes. FML

by StupidBerk / 09/17/2012 at 7:25pm / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, I woke up feeling ecstatic, because last night, my crush had told my best friend he likes me a lot. I sent him a text message telling him the feeling is mutual. A little while after sending it, it hit me that his confession had only been part of a dream. FML

by hannah / 09/15/2012 at 6:16pm / New Zealand (Marlborough) / Love

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

by -___- / 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML

by Anonymous / 09/14/2012 at 10:50am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML

by killmenow / 09/10/2012 at 1:52pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, my 43-year-old brother's obsession with Breaking Bad reached a new level of stupidity when he nearly got us beaten up by a bunch of meth-heads down by our local park. He went up to them with his shaved head and stupid hat, and tried to act all Walter White with them. FML

by NotJessePinkmanFFS / 09/10/2012 at 2:06am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while shopping, I saw a little girl and her mom. The girl was pouting so I tried to cheer her up by asking her if she was a princess, because she was so pretty. She smiled but her mom looked at me with disgust and told me to, "Get lost, pedo." I'm a 17-year-old girl. FML

by well okay then / 09/10/2012 at 12:39am / United States / Kids

Today, my co-worker and I were having a conversation in Russian. Our boss overheard us talking, shouted, "I know you're talking about me! I speak Spanish too!" and threatened to fire us. FML

by PuddlePirate / 09/07/2012 at 12:23pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, I had to go into the school for the third time this week because my son is claiming he's on bath salts and biting all his classmates. My son is 16. FML

by Anonymous / 09/07/2012 at 1:08am / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, the girl I went on an awkward date with two weeks ago showed up at university and started smashing my car with a bat. She then broke down in tears and alternated between declaring her love, and cussing me out for "cheating" on her. FML

by Anonymous / 08/31/2012 at 8:49pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, I had my boss over for dinner. Knowing that I was angling for a promotion, my fifteen-year-old son spent the dinner uttering lines such as "What's the point of showering before bed?" and "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." My boss was not impressed. FML

by Anonymous / 08/31/2012 at 7:16pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I purposely misspelled words while texting my boyfriend so he would think I was out partying and having a life. FML

by nolife / 08/29/2012 at 9:33pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, in the middle of the store, my daughter pointed at my belly and loudly announced that she was going to have a brother. I'm a man, and apparently I need to lose weight. FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2012 at 1:30am / United States / Kids