About oliviaorourke : I love life.
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Today, while my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch, he looked down at my chest and said "I can't wait for the day that these produce milk." We've only been dating a few months and I have no intention of lactating anytime soon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14250) - you deserved it (1859)
On 09/27/2009 at 4:57pm - intimacy - by e11ie (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, on the train on the way to my mother's house, I was playing Mariokart with my son. He got a 'bomb' item, and yelled quite loudly, "I have a bomb!". Panic ensued. We got thrown off the train at the next stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40106) - you deserved it (4934)
On 08/28/2009 at 12:41am - kids - by mariokarter (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, for the first time, I hugged the man I have been in love with for four years. It was a congratulatory hug at his wedding to my best friend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47943) - you deserved it (9957)
On 08/28/2009 at 12:23am - love - by itrustedsnapeallalong (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, while I was watching Miley Cyrus' new music video, I had an itch near my bikini line that I couldn't reach through my jeans. So I unzipped my pants to get to it, and that's when my boyfriend walked in on me with my hands down my pants. He thought I was getting off on the music video. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38176) - you deserved it (16634)
On 08/15/2009 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by notguilty (woman) - United States (California)
Today, a friend offered to have sex with me, since I'm a 19 year old virgin who's only been kissed. He then added on that I would have to give him my Wii in return. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38919) - you deserved it (4886)
On 07/30/2009 at 11:52am - intimacy - by VelocityMary (woman) - United States - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, I called my boyfriend and when he answered, I said the dirtiest thing I could think of to him on the phone. After a long silence, I heard, "Lacey? Is that you?" I accidentally called my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15028) - you deserved it (50627)
On 07/11/2009 at 11:13am - intimacy - by crazyt446 (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I went to see my grandmother. She has alzheimers and doesn't remember me sometimes, and today she thought I was her sister and that I was trying to steal my grandfather from her. She hit me with a cane and called me a slut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47545) - you deserved it (2049)
On 07/09/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by lady_jeni - United States (California)
Today, I was in my car and a cute guy pulled up next to me. He looked at me and smiled, but in order to be cool, I pretended not to notice. I also pretended that I was listening to music and was completely absorbed in it, singing passionately. I wasn't even listening to music and my window was down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4371) - you deserved it (57221)
On 07/06/2009 at 6:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45465) - you deserved it (17948)
On 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm - love - by DutchOven (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my girlfriend and I walked to her couch while kissing with our eyes closed. Stumbling, we reached the couch and dropped our bodies, her on top of me. What I didn't know was that her kitty, Elvis, was napping. Elvis was very angry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31921) - you deserved it (13112)
On 06/29/2009 at 6:59pm - misc - by peace_lost (man) - United States (California)
Today, I received in the mail a hockey puck autographed by recent hall of fame addition Steve Yzerman. When asked, I had to explain to my 4 year old brother that someone famous had written his name on it. Later, I discovered that my brother decided it needed his name on it too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35128) - you deserved it (3550)
On 06/23/2009 at 9:28pm - kids - by lumi (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, we spread my uncle's ashes at my grandparent's house. We were on a hill overlooking a sunset. It was a beautiful ceremony... until the winds changed direction. Our whole family wound up covered in my Uncle. He's still stuck in my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43008) - you deserved it (3130)
On 06/21/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by Lee (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31333) - you deserved it (49309)
On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML
I agree, your life sucks (87993) - you deserved it (19715)
On 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Familyskank (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, at a concert, I noticed a cute keytarist in one of the bands. After they got off stage, I asked their bass player if she was single. He replied, "actually, she's married," holding up his left hand, he continued, "to me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17681) - you deserved it (32124)
On 04/22/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by fastfingers409 - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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