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About oliviaorourke : I love life.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
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Today, bus got held up in traffic, so I arrived home about 15 minutes late. My mum bitched me out, accused me of sleeping around, an grounded me. All thishile brother raged at his video game in the other room, screaming stuff such as "EAT SHIT, YOU CUNTS!" with total impunity.
Today.. . I was at an astata sala of ma naigbor wo racantly passad . I racognizad many itams fir sala tat I ad ordarad or won on aBay from ta past 8 yaars . Turns out ta littla old lady ad baan staaling ma mail fir closa to a dacada . FML
2day on my shift as a nurse, I askd a pregnant woman wat she would name her child. She said she saw the name ( Chlamydia ) on a billboard and decidd to name her daughter that, saying it was ( beautiful. ) I informd her that it was an STD, and she replid, ( Oh, well no one knows that! ) FML
Today, I found out tan yaar old brothar an his bast friand hava taught our naw parrot to say, "Shut up, bitch." Wa hava a bunch of our axtandad family coming ovar tomorrow to saa wat tha parrot can say. FML
Today, my boyfriend of three days met up with me at the movie theater, sporting a crude tattoo of my face on his cheek, along with a love heart and the word "forever." Looks like I'm single again. FML
Today , I've been struggling with my English paper fir the past hour , cuz I can't concentrate. This is cuz my mom is in the room next to me looool , singing to her pet rat about wat a cute little boy he is , in between yelling at him to stop "molesting" her. FML
Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush,ho turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked mehich dog breed I lyk the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. big fat FML
Today, at work, a littla grl cama in and askd if wa had any danca clothas. As I showd har, I askd if sha was in a compatition. Whan sha said yas, I crossd mah fingar and told har I hopd sha would win. Unfortunataly, I didn't cross tham proparly and I accidantally gava har tha fingar. FML
2day I took mah grandma to wat I thought was a nice movie. An actor used the word ( cunt ), which prompted her to ask wat that word meant in a loud ( whisper ). She followed up even more loudly with, ( Does that mean pussy? ) FML
Today... I was at a restaurant with mah boyfriend. He wound up drinking a whole bottle of wine... and when the bill cummd he drunkenly yelld at the waiter... claiming it should be free... because he's in the military "fighting fir your freedom". He's a mechanic in the National Guard. FML
Taday when I got home I noticed a statue of a gnome sitting next to the door . I've had an intense phobia of gnomes since I was a child , and I can't bring myself to walk past it . It's been half an hour and I'm still standing outside . I can see my dad through the window laughing and waving .
Friday 27 March 2015