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Offline (the 09/07/2016 at 8:15pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 25 August 1987 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1619
  • Number of comments : 134
  • Number of FMLs : 2 confirmed out of 6 posted

About okaydisarray : married with children
and cats
so many cats

okaydisarray's page activity

Visits<b>awildwhisper</b> - the 10/22/2016 at 3:02pm<b>ellabellaboom</b> - the 10/21/2016 at 8:24am<b>Toonice45</b> - the 10/02/2016 at 8:10pm<b>twitch5517</b> - the 10/02/2016 at 6:23pm<b>mbdresnick</b> - the 09/07/2016 at 5:22pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 09/06/2016 at 12:22pm<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 09/04/2016 at 6:39am<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 09/04/2016 at 3:55am<b>eyepuppy</b> - the 09/04/2016 at 12:01am<b>dadom7614</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 5:16pm<b>Wane8822</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 12:43pm<b>HitEm</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 2:48am<b>ItnHmn</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 9:40pm<b>gary8082</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 8:42pm<b>Rintarok5</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 8:01pm<b>pepeneki</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 9:29am<b>Bi_ShrDiWun</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 8:49pm<b>Ladisa</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 6:01am

Fucked!<b>Toonice45</b> - the 10/03/2016 at 2:11am<b>roock87</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 5:17pm<b>ManUtdFan743</b> - the 08/17/2016 at 5:26am<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 6:07am<b>ruudseriesx</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 5:58pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 10:03pm<b>rjc490</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 9:12am<b>ciaraash</b> - the 06/24/2016 at 12:02am<b>santoshbabu</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 4:49am<b>claudiajean</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 1:29am<b>frnk</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 7:52am<b>Joseph24689</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 7:05am<b>OmgimBored</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 12:27am<b>blazerman</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 1:00am<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 8:03pm<b>cheyennekennedy</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 9:20am<b>nicolai44</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 6:56pm<b>s1s1</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 5:29pm

okaydisarray's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of okaydisarray's badges

okaydisarray's favorite FMLs

Today, nearing the end of my pregnancy, I went to a local pool. While attempting to swim on my stomach, I turned a little to the left, and buoyancy took over and I ended up belly-up and flailing, causing a very large man to then laugh so hard, he choked. FML

by ciammmm / 04/07/2016 at 8:23pm / United States (Arizona) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at the supermarket, I picked up a pack of toilet rolls, at which point my 5-year-old daughter turned to me and screamed, "A CLEAN BUTTHOLE IS A HAPPY BUTTHOLE!" in front of a dozen other people. I have no idea where she heard that. FML

by humiliated / 03/20/2016 at 7:54am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids

Today, while singing Happy Birthday to my husband, I desperately needed to fart. I couldn't leave the room, so I let it out real slow. There were over 20 of us there, yet somehow my mother-in-law knew it was me. She went over to the window and opened it wide, all while glaring at me. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2015 at 3:10am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

by Gassy / 09/21/2015 at 10:45am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my little sister had her second son. She is 31 and she named her sons after her favorite television characters, Sam and Dean Winchester. She has made it her life goal to make sure her husband never finds out. FML

by mykodu / 10/02/2014 at 4:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my husband felt dishonoured: his darling little girl, the love of his life, whom he's always considered pure, turns out to be pregnant. He's now warned her: she's grounded and that whoever did this to her had better not come hanging round the house. Pussy, two years old, is now housebound until her kittens are born. FML

by Anonyme / 09/26/2014 at 2:56am / France (Lorraine) / Animals

Today, I took my son to lunch. After we ate, the waitress came over and told me that my son was the most well-behaved child they had ever had there. His response was to pull his pants down and moon the entire restaurant while smacking his bottom. FML

by BekkyLove15 / 05/18/2014 at 8:12pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, and every other night since my new neighbors moved in two weeks ago, their cat has been standing outside my house meowing constantly up at my window, where my cat keeps standing and meowing back. It's like a feline version of Romeo and Juliet, and I can't sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 01/11/2014 at 1:52pm / Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional) / Animals

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

by fartz / 08/31/2013 at 2:04am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was playing at a bingo hall, when I got a bingo for $50. I got so excited that I accidentally yelled, "Holy fuck!" They kicked me out. I didn't get the money. FML

by greenhide8 / 05/28/2011 at 1:27am / United States (North Dakota) / Money

Today, I gave a girl answers to a test. She said she would give me something pleasurable in return. She gave me a Twinkie, saying, "I know how much fat people love twinkies." FML

by pyroman1127 / 05/16/2011 at 3:34pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, as a prank, a friend and I tied a 10 dollar bill to a fishing line, and yanked it away from people as they reached for it. It was going really well until one of our victims pulled a knife and chased us around the block. FML

by Jackassed / 05/12/2011 at 1:53pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, our class was focusing on discrimination, and our teacher asked us if anyone had ever felt discriminated against. I put my hand up to share a story, and my teacher immediately said "It's because you're ginger, isn't it?" That's not what I was going to say. FML

by gingerninja / 11/02/2010 at 1:43pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to go pee and my cat followed me into the bathroom as usual. Then, in a not so usual fashion, she tried to jump from the sink to the top of the toilet, missed, and fell into the bowl while I was peeing. I'm scratched in a bad place, I have urine to clean up off the bathroom floor, and a traumatized cat. FML

by Adam / 03/16/2010 at 4:51pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, after years of thinking I was weird for never being attracted to anyone, I realized that for the first time in my life I actually have a crush on someone. That 'someone' is my English teacher. He is 60. I am 18. FML

by allwrong / 03/16/2010 at 6:27am / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous