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Today, my school is having homecoming. I'm taking a date who I really like, and she happens to have fairly large boobs. I have a friend who seems to think I have an obsession with boobs, so I texted her last night reading "btw, no big boob jokes tomorrow." I accidentally sent it to my date. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10202) - you deserved it (35550)
On 09/19/2009 at 11:20am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I had my 3 year old son in the doctors office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30294) - you deserved it (6159)
On 09/19/2009 at 10:37am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I walked out of my college dorm to see that the intelligent person who locked their bike next to mine decided as an added security they would lock their bike to the rack, and to my bike. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30673) - you deserved it (1398)
On 09/18/2009 at 9:33am - misc - by cl512 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I urgently needed to use the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. When I went to flush, it would not go down the pipes. After about ten panic filled minutes, I notice the cat litter box. I carefully scoop out my logs, and bury them in the cat litter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14064) - you deserved it (34083)
On 09/18/2009 at 12:29am - animals - by Poowee (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first, I texted her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16463) - you deserved it (72569)
On 09/16/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by sarahh38 (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I realized my job is so boring that I spend most of my time trying to take a dump than actually working. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23354) - you deserved it (4573)
On 09/15/2009 at 10:27pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I realized the guy I've been hooking up with has a daughter who is a year younger then me. As if that wasn't bad enough, I also found out she had a child of her own. I've been hooking up with a grandpa. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20122) - you deserved it (29575)
On 09/14/2009 at 5:11pm - misc - by nen_00 - United States (Iowa)
Today, I just came back from the vet. I spent a lot of money on a pet tortoise at the local pet store and it didn't come out of its shell when I bought it. The owner just said it sleeps in the day and it'll be shy for a week or so. Turns out it was dead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31170) - you deserved it (6840)
On 09/14/2009 at 6:05am - money - by JhKhS (man) - United Kingdom (Devon)
Today, after finishing a three-page essay for my spanish class, I went to rip up my brainstorming paper in an act of triumph. After I finished ripping it up, I looked on my desk to see my brainstorming paper fully intact, and my essay torn into bits. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7809) - you deserved it (46499)
On 09/13/2009 at 9:00pm - work - by thissucks (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went to a salon. As soon as I walked in, someone ran to me and inspected my hair and said, "We can fix this." I was there to get my daughter's hair done. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24854) - you deserved it (4257)
On 09/12/2009 at 11:12pm - misc - by badhair (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I went to a salon. As soon as I walked in, someone ran to me and inspected my hair and said, "We can fix this." I was there to get my daughter's hair done. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24854) - you deserved it (4257)
On 09/12/2009 at 11:12pm - misc - by badhair (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I ignored my cat's incessant meowing, and pushed him away every time he wanted to be petted. The next time I walked downstairs I found him dead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21178) - you deserved it (76725)
On 09/12/2009 at 5:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, my husband of 9 years announced he was gay. He insinuated that he was only able to achieve erections because I looked like a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (316730) - you deserved it (27879)
On 03/21/2009 at 3:15am - intimacy - by jilted (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I drunkenly buried my girlfriend's recently deceased cat. Later she asked to see it and came back inside crying. It turns out I didn't bury it completely and its two back legs were poking out of the dirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5276) - you deserved it (29206)
On 01/30/2009 at 7:49pm - animals - by jf29 - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was quietly having a bath when I felt something fall onto my shoulder blade. I glanced over my shoulder and saw what I thought were huge black spider legs. I screamed, completely hysterical, and I threw myself violently against a wall. It was my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28868) - you deserved it (16198)
On 12/26/2008 at 11:07pm - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version
Friday 24 May 2013
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