ojosverdes26

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ojosverdes26

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 29 November 1989 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3581
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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ojosverdes26's page activity

Visits<b>Furby94</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 4:17pm<b>pikawarriors</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 1:21am<b>the_clumsy_one</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 3:55pm<b>tuckit</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 10:59pm<b>J352SAURUS</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 3:05am<b>wellll</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 4:48am<b>lungjiao</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 6:30pm<b>zomgbies</b> - the 10/29/2013 at 11:03am<b>Sockturtle</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 10:45am<b>Blazinthatshit</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 12:15pm<b>jacomarine89</b> - the 02/20/2013 at 8:01pm<b>Colecto</b> - the 01/30/2013 at 10:29pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:22pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 3:24am<b>FYLDeep</b> - the 11/24/2010 at 5:15am<b>shackzac</b> - the 11/14/2010 at 11:37pm<b>Zmeilerr</b> - the 11/12/2010 at 11:40am<b>greyy_goooose</b> - the 11/08/2010 at 3:44am

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ojosverdes26's favorite FMLs

Today, my cousin and I were out on the boardwalk. I walked to the railing next to a man and said, "Great view isn't it?" Then I found out that the man was blind and had a seeing eye dog. FML

by RC / 10/24/2009 at 10:14pm / United States (Maryland) / Animals

Today, I went to my academic counselor to help me deal with my stress and anxiety, which has been making me nauseous from the constant strain. She suggested exercise to help these feelings. Every time I do so, I vomit. From the anxiety and stress. FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2009 at 6:35pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was paintballing when I got shot in the stomach and winded. As I was gasping for breath on the ground, someone came up and shot me point blank in my crotch. FML

by sore / 10/21/2009 at 4:27am / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I awoke to find a giant turd on my carpet, cat hair everywhere in my room, and a big hole in my window screen. I don't own a cat. FML

by Ethan / 10/17/2009 at 7:13am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I am in a very long line at the supermarket, gazing about in complete boredom when I spot a lady cradling what appears to be a cute newborn baby. Being enamored of all babies, I get off the line, go over and say "Oh, what a cute little baby!" The lady was holding a coconut. FML

by BEE / 10/10/2009 at 6:35pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother said she trusted me enough to go with me for my first drive in my new car. As soon as we got in the car, she started hyperventilating and screaming we're going to crash. I didn't even start the engine. FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2009 at 1:53pm / United Kingdom (West Berkshire) / Transportation

Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm / United Kingdom / Transportation

Today, I retook my ACT. I have been fighting a cold all week and have been very sneezy lately. Midway through the test, I got the urge to sneeze. Since it was very quiet and I didn't want to disturb the peace, I tried to hold my sneeze in. I ended up letting out a huge fart instead. FML

by Sneezy123 / 10/05/2009 at 10:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend in his room, wearing his boxers. He told me this story about how one time he had diarrhea when he was stuck in traffic and had not choice but to poop himself. I asked him what prompted this story. He said I was wearing the boxers he pooped in. FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2009 at 8:22pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

by APetsPet / 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I noticed that my acne has gotten so bad, I can see it out of my peripheral vision. FML

by ew / 10/04/2009 at 11:41am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I made a tuna sandwich. It was really nice , so I looked at the label to see what brand it was. Turns out it wasn't tuna. It was fancy cat food. FML

by Rizzle / 10/04/2009 at 3:50am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Animals

Today, I went to my Russian language class after days of being sick. We must speak in Russian. The professor asked how I felt. I said "like shit." I didn't know the word I used was the verb, not the noun. So I told an awesome prof and class I was "feeling like I was in the process of defacating." FML

by rebel_rose / 09/25/2009 at 2:18am / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was in a department store with my three year old daughter to buy some new jeans. I took her into the dressing room with me and as I began to take off my pants she yells, "Mommy, you can't go peepee in here!!" I am no longer welcome in that particular store. FML

by Anonymous / 09/20/2009 at 1:01am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my school is having homecoming. I'm taking a date who I really like, and she happens to have fairly large boobs. I have a friend who seems to think I have an obsession with boobs, so I texted her last night reading "btw, no big boob jokes tomorrow." I accidentally sent it to my date. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2009 at 11:20am / United States (Nebraska) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.