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Today, my cousin and I were out on the boardwalk. I walked to the railing next to a man and said, "Great view isn't it?" Then I found out that the man was blind and had a seeing eye dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20632) - you deserved it (8754)
On 10/24/2009 at 10:14pm - animals - by RC (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I went to my academic counselor to help me deal with my stress and anxiety, which has been making me nauseous from the constant strain. She suggested exercise to help these feelings. Every time I do so, I vomit. From the anxiety and stress. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17952) - you deserved it (3734)
On 10/21/2009 at 6:35pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was paintballing when I got shot in the stomach and winded. As I was gasping for breath on the ground, someone came up and shot me point blank in my crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31033) - you deserved it (4871)
On 10/21/2009 at 4:27am - misc - by sore (man) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, I awoke to find a giant turd on my carpet, cat hair everywhere in my room, and a big hole in my window screen. I don't own a cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27179) - you deserved it (1397)
On 10/17/2009 at 7:13am - animals - by Ethan (man) - United States (California)
Today, I am in a very long line at the supermarket, gazing about in complete boredom when I spot a lady cradling what appears to be a cute newborn baby. Being enamored of all babies, I get off the line, go over and say "Oh, what a cute little baby!" The lady was holding a coconut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6420) - you deserved it (36588)
On 10/10/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by BEE (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my mother said she trusted me enough to go with me for my first drive in my new car. As soon as we got in the car, she started hyperventilating and screaming we're going to crash. I didn't even start the engine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27062) - you deserved it (2088)
On 10/10/2009 at 1:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (West Berkshire)
Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36657) - you deserved it (2339)
On 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I retook my ACT. I have been fighting a cold all week and have been very sneezy lately. Midway through the test, I got the urge to sneeze. Since it was very quiet and I didn't want to disturb the peace, I tried to hold my sneeze in. I ended up letting out a huge fart instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29214) - you deserved it (7270)
On 10/05/2009 at 10:21pm - misc - by Sneezy123 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend in his room, wearing his boxers. He told me this story about how one time he had diarrhea when he was stuck in traffic and had not choice but to poop himself. I asked him what prompted this story. He said I was wearing the boxers he pooped in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17958) - you deserved it (3350)
On 10/05/2009 at 8:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I got an email from the company that manages my Cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40861) - you deserved it (2980)
On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I noticed that my acne has gotten so bad, I can see it out of my peripheral vision. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39034) - you deserved it (6703)
On 10/04/2009 at 11:41am - health - by ew (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I made a tuna sandwich. It was really nice , so I looked at the label to see what brand it was. Turns out it wasn't tuna. It was fancy cat food. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9241) - you deserved it (30451)
On 10/04/2009 at 3:50am - animals - by Rizzle (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, I told my daughter how her eyes look exactly as pretty as my wife's. She told me that she loved the way my eyeballs stick out of my face, just like Elmo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30606) - you deserved it (3678)
On 10/03/2009 at 8:33am - kids - by dessaye (man) - Singapore
Today, I went to my Russian language class after days of being sick. We must speak in Russian. The professor asked how I felt. I said "like shit." I didn't know the word I used was the verb, not the noun. So I told an awesome prof and class I was "feeling like I was in the process of defacating." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8428) - you deserved it (24138)
On 09/25/2009 at 2:18am - misc - by rebel_rose (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I was in a department store with my three year old daughter to buy some new jeans. I took her into the dressing room with me and as I began to take off my pants she yells, "Mommy, you can't go peepee in here!!" I am no longer welcome in that particular store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30262) - you deserved it (2448)
On 09/20/2009 at 1:01am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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