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ojosverdes26

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ojosverdes26

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 29 November 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2807
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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ojosverdes26's page activity

Visits<b>pikawarriors</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 1:21am<b>the_clumsy_one</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 3:55pm<b>tuckit</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 10:59pm<b>J352SAURUS</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 3:05am<b>wellll</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 4:48am<b>lungjiao</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 6:30pm<b>zomgbies</b> - the 10/29/2013 at 11:03am<b>Sockturtle</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 10:45am<b>Blazinthatshit</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 12:15pm<b>jacomarine89</b> - the 02/20/2013 at 8:01pm<b>Colecto</b> - the 01/30/2013 at 10:29pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:22pm<b>FYLDeep</b> - the 11/24/2010 at 5:15am<b>shackzac</b> - the 11/14/2010 at 11:37pm<b>Zmeilerr</b> - the 11/12/2010 at 11:40am<b>greyy_goooose</b> - the 11/08/2010 at 3:44am<b>katsuku</b> - the 08/24/2010 at 2:24pm<b>hillbillyvik</b> - the 08/18/2010 at 8:21am

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ojosverdes26's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that removing your boyfriends boxers with your teeth is waaaay less sexy when you accidentally bite a chunk of his pubes and yank them out in the process. FML

#7585326
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7845) - you deserved it (22637)

On 01/26/2010 at 3:59am - intimacy - by sexyfail (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was holding my son and smelled poop so I checked his diaper, but there was nothing there. Then I realized it was my breath. FML

#7509871
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8118) - you deserved it (34895)

On 01/22/2010 at 10:16pm - kids - by Chan (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was doing a shit load of sit-ups on my mattress. After realizing the bed was squeaking, I heard my dad laughing very hard from the basement. He thought I was masturbating. FML

#7348405
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10629) - you deserved it (16485)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:16pm - intimacy - by nooneatall - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was playing around on Photo Booth, using weird effects on pictures of myself. I clicked on one and thought to myself that it was a really ugly effect. Then I noticed that it was set on normal. FML

#7183018
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16956) - you deserved it (22532)

On 01/06/2010 at 4:05pm - misc - by ugly5402 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate for the first time. He was sucking on my boob, everything was going good. He suddenly stopped and started choking really bad. He thought milk was coming out. Turns out, it was just his gum. The moment was ruined. FML

#7162537
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19807) - you deserved it (3152)

On 01/05/2010 at 11:22am - intimacy - by me (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I tried to get my girlfriend of nine months to have oral sex with me. She was eating a hot dog. She then said, "If you ask me again, this is what I'll do to you." She then bit the hot dog in half. FML

#6989105
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9150) - you deserved it (33308)

On 12/28/2009 at 5:16am - intimacy - by Dontworryaboutit (man) - United States (New York)

Today, it's the first evening that my husband and I will have without the kids in 8 months. We had been looking forward to it for ages, and my husband had even bought me some lovely new lingerie for the occasion. Guess what? I just got diarrhea. FML

#6776898
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37318) - you deserved it (3454)

On 12/16/2009 at 10:43am - love - by eww657 (woman) - United Kingdom (Bracknell Forest)

Today, I got my first acting part. I played the role of a bad boy who has to grab the leading lady's ass, who then slaps me in the face. The ass grab was done in one take. The slap required 14 takes. FML

#6570901
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37164) - you deserved it (4432)

On 12/02/2009 at 6:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML

#6433881
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38825) - you deserved it (2954)

On 11/24/2009 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I had a pig kidney dissection in Biology. I see a 'sack' which appeared to contain a liquid. Being the curious type, I cut open the sack, spraying said liquid over me and my desk. My teacher, after giggling, informed me that the liquid was in fact urine. I was pissed on by a dead pig. FML

#6340257
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11741) - you deserved it (34353)

On 11/17/2009 at 11:12am - misc - by Araya (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I noticed that in my cover letter I wrote "I also have an eye.", instead of "I also have an eye for details.", and I have been sending it out for the past few weeks. No wonder I haven't gotten any replies. FML

#6299927
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8257) - you deserved it (26886)

On 11/14/2009 at 11:52am - work - by crazylobster (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I learned the hard way that if you walk up to a hobo by your car pooping, they will chase you yelling, "Get out of my bathroom!" FML

#6166961
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30201) - you deserved it (3715)

On 11/05/2009 at 12:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while walking to work, I accidentally dropped my $400 cell phone on the sidewalk. The screen shattered into a million pieces. A woman passing by looked at the ruined phone and said, "Now that's what you call a dropped call!" She laughed and kept walking. FML

#6154190
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33480) - you deserved it (16838)

On 11/04/2009 at 5:37pm - misc - by Cellismasher (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I watched my car roll backwards on the freeway, while attached to the tow truck that I was sitting in. FML

#6144396
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23231) - you deserved it (2000)

On 11/03/2009 at 11:06pm - misc - by ljd09 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was cooking. I leaned over the stove to preheat the oven, and burned my nipple on a pot of boiling water. I also have a teething son who is breastfeeding. FML

#5991629
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37455) - you deserved it (9926)

On 10/25/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by roadbikemama (woman) - United States (California)



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