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ojosverdes26

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ojosverdes26
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 29 November 1989 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 2337
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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ojosverdes26's favorite FMLs

Today, I lost the remote control to my TV. I can't change the channel manually on it, and the channel it's stuck on is currently playing an infomercial for the Pos-T-Vac penis pump. I've been watching this for an hour now. I'm a female, and I'm beginning to feel like I need this product. FML

#13403987
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24326) - you deserved it (8264)

On 10/11/2010 at 6:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had a wet dream about having sexual relations with a rubber duck. FML

#13373695
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27353) - you deserved it (8523)

On 10/09/2010 at 1:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I walked in on my mom giving my dad head. Acting like I hadn't seen anything, I asked if I could use a towel sitting on the dresser. My mom said, "No, we're going to need that one." FML

#12803986
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25522) - you deserved it (5183)

On 08/29/2010 at 11:37am - intimacy - by bkay26 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was having sex with a really hot guy, when suddenly he pulled out and told me that "he had another fat chick meeting him in twenty minutes." FML

#12800426
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30342) - you deserved it (13454)

On 08/29/2010 at 3:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, it was really hot in my house so I pulled my shorts down so I was just in my boxers. My family and I were watching tv and I got a spontaneous erection. When I discreetly tried to pull my shorts back up, my penis flipped out of my boxers. FML

#12792346
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33024) - you deserved it (22083)

On 08/28/2010 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Sicko - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to a water park, and the fee to get in was $39.95. Once I got in I was really thirsty, so I got a soda and then I hear over the intercom that the park is closing due to a clog in the cleaning system. I paid 43.67 for a soda. FML

#12592660
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28143) - you deserved it (2777)

On 08/17/2010 at 10:01pm - misc - by Still Dry - United States

Today, I was told that in order to be considered for more jobs, I should remove my college degree from my resume. FML

#12579737
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27417) - you deserved it (3162)

On 08/17/2010 at 7:43am - work - by JoannaG25 (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, while lifeguarding, I saw someone in the wave-pool who appeared to be drowning. So, I jumped in to attempt to save him. Turns out he wasn't drowning, he only had one arm. He yelled at me. FML

#12042807
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26148) - you deserved it (3352)

On 07/22/2010 at 10:48am - work - by GuardOtto - United States

Today, I went on my first date with a girl I have been infatuated with for months. At the restaurant, the waiter came while she was in the bathroom. I ordered steaks for both of us. Turns out, she is vegetarian, and doesn't like it when men are "overly aggressive". She called me a cow murderer. FML

#9123015
346 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12320) - you deserved it (34578)

On 03/16/2010 at 12:28am - love - by meatballz (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML

#9070560
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21865) - you deserved it (9600)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:49am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my dad asked me if I could convince my mother to get a Brazillian wax. If that's not bad enough, my mother heard and yelled from the other room, "I like my furball." FML

#9041294
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30365) - you deserved it (2164)

On 03/13/2010 at 5:35am - intimacy - by Grossed Out - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I started biting my nails, before I realized I'd forgotten to wash my hands after taking a massive dump. FML

#8973652
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4274) - you deserved it (52044)

On 03/10/2010 at 3:53pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I learnt that if you accidentally sit on a hamster, instead of dying, it bites your testicles. FML

#8742333
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8157) - you deserved it (33812)

On 03/01/2010 at 4:13am - animals - by ItHurtsLIkeHell (man) - Malaysia (Pulau Pinang)

Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML

#7698820
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10136) - you deserved it (30866)

On 01/30/2010 at 3:47am - misc - by Wowsers. (woman) - United Kingdom (Blackpool)

Today, I was sick with the flu so my boyfriend announced that he would make me some chicken soup. It was touching until I stumbled to the kitchen and found out that his "chicken soup" was actually leftover KFC bones boiled in water. FML

#7609495
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28284) - you deserved it (3631)

On 01/27/2010 at 9:05am - misc - by samantha (woman) - Singapore



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