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ojosverdes26's favorite FMLs
Today, I lost the remote control to my TV. I can't change the channel manually on it, and the channel it's stuck on is currently playing an infomercial for the Pos-T-Vac penis pump. I've been watching this for an hour now. I'm a female, and I'm beginning to feel like I need this product. FML
by Anonymous / 10/11/2010 at 6:50am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/09/2010 at 1:15am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Intimacy
by bkay26 / 08/29/2010 at 11:37am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/29/2010 at 3:27am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, it was really hot in my house so I pulled my shorts down so I was just in my boxers. My family and I were watching tv and I got a spontaneous erection. When I discreetly tried to pull my shorts back up, my penis flipped out of my boxers. FML
Today, I went to a water park, and the fee to get in was $39.95. Once I got in I was really thirsty, so I got a soda and then I hear over the intercom that the park is closing due to a clog in the cleaning system. I paid 43.67 for a soda. FML
by Still Dry / 08/17/2010 at 10:01pm / United States / Money
by JoannaG25 / 08/17/2010 at 7:43am / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Work
by GuardOtto / 07/22/2010 at 10:48am / United States / Work
Today, I went on my first date with a girl I have been infatuated with for months. At the restaurant, the waiter came while she was in the bathroom. I ordered steaks for both of us. Turns out, she is vegetarian, and doesn't like it when men are "overly aggressive". She called me a cow murderer. FML
by meatballz / 03/16/2010 at 12:28am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML
by anonymous / 03/14/2010 at 10:49am / United States / Geek
by Grossed Out / 03/13/2010 at 5:35am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/10/2010 at 3:53pm / United States (Utah) / Health
by ItHurtsLIkeHell / 03/01/2010 at 4:13am / Malaysia (Pulau Pinang) / Animals
by Wowsers. / 01/30/2010 at 3:47am / United Kingdom (Blackpool) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was sick with the flu so my boyfriend announced that he would make me some chicken soup. It was touching until I stumbled to the kitchen and found out that his "chicken soup" was actually leftover KFC bones boiled in water. FML
by samantha / 01/27/2010 at 9:05am / Singapore / Miscellaneous
- Today, my live in boyfriend has been giving me the silent treatment for the last three days because… Today, I was cooking dinner when I set off the fire alarm in my flat building. The neighbour from… Today, I met the man of my dreams. Hot, funny, smart, sensitive, he guesses at what I need before I…