ojosverdes26

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ojosverdes26

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 29 November 1989 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3384
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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ojosverdes26's page activity

Visits<b>Furby94</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 4:17pm<b>pikawarriors</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 1:21am<b>the_clumsy_one</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 3:55pm<b>tuckit</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 10:59pm<b>J352SAURUS</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 3:05am<b>wellll</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 4:48am<b>lungjiao</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 6:30pm<b>zomgbies</b> - the 10/29/2013 at 11:03am<b>Sockturtle</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 10:45am<b>Blazinthatshit</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 12:15pm<b>jacomarine89</b> - the 02/20/2013 at 8:01pm<b>Colecto</b> - the 01/30/2013 at 10:29pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:22pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 3:24am<b>FYLDeep</b> - the 11/24/2010 at 5:15am<b>shackzac</b> - the 11/14/2010 at 11:37pm<b>Zmeilerr</b> - the 11/12/2010 at 11:40am<b>greyy_goooose</b> - the 11/08/2010 at 3:44am

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ojosverdes26's favorite FMLs

Today, I lost the remote control to my TV. I can't change the channel manually on it, and the channel it's stuck on is currently playing an infomercial for the Pos-T-Vac penis pump. I've been watching this for an hour now. I'm a female, and I'm beginning to feel like I need this product. FML

by Anonymous / 10/11/2010 at 6:50am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I had a wet dream about having sexual relations with a rubber duck. FML

by Anonymous / 10/09/2010 at 1:15am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my mom giving my dad head. Acting like I hadn't seen anything, I asked if I could use a towel sitting on the dresser. My mom said, "No, we're going to need that one." FML

by bkay26 / 08/29/2010 at 11:37am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with a really hot guy, when suddenly he pulled out and told me that "he had another fat chick meeting him in twenty minutes." FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2010 at 3:27am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, it was really hot in my house so I pulled my shorts down so I was just in my boxers. My family and I were watching tv and I got a spontaneous erection. When I discreetly tried to pull my shorts back up, my penis flipped out of my boxers. FML

by Sicko / 08/28/2010 at 7:52pm / Intimacy

Today, I went to a water park, and the fee to get in was $39.95. Once I got in I was really thirsty, so I got a soda and then I hear over the intercom that the park is closing due to a clog in the cleaning system. I paid 43.67 for a soda. FML

by Still Dry / 08/17/2010 at 10:01pm / United States / Money

Today, I was told that in order to be considered for more jobs, I should remove my college degree from my resume. FML

by JoannaG25 / 08/17/2010 at 7:43am / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Work

Today, while lifeguarding, I saw someone in the wave-pool who appeared to be drowning. So, I jumped in to attempt to save him. Turns out he wasn't drowning, he only had one arm. He yelled at me. FML

by GuardOtto / 07/22/2010 at 10:48am / United States / Work

Today, I went on my first date with a girl I have been infatuated with for months. At the restaurant, the waiter came while she was in the bathroom. I ordered steaks for both of us. Turns out, she is vegetarian, and doesn't like it when men are "overly aggressive". She called me a cow murderer. FML

by meatballz / 03/16/2010 at 12:28am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML

by anonymous / 03/14/2010 at 10:49am / United States / Geek

Today, my dad asked me if I could convince my mother to get a Brazillian wax. If that's not bad enough, my mother heard and yelled from the other room, "I like my furball." FML

by Grossed Out / 03/13/2010 at 5:35am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I started biting my nails, before I realized I'd forgotten to wash my hands after taking a massive dump. FML

by Anonymous / 03/10/2010 at 3:53pm / United States (Utah) / Health

Today, I learnt that if you accidentally sit on a hamster, instead of dying, it bites your testicles. FML

by ItHurtsLIkeHell / 03/01/2010 at 4:13am / Malaysia (Pulau Pinang) / Animals

Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML

by Wowsers. / 01/30/2010 at 3:47am / United Kingdom (Blackpool) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sick with the flu so my boyfriend announced that he would make me some chicken soup. It was touching until I stumbled to the kitchen and found out that his "chicken soup" was actually leftover KFC bones boiled in water. FML

by samantha / 01/27/2010 at 9:05am / Singapore / Miscellaneous