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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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ojosverdes26

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ojosverdes26
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 29 November 1989 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 1227
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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ojosverdes26's last visitors

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ojosverdes26's favorite FMLs

Today, having turned 18, I was eager to show my mother some of the clothes I'd like to purchase with my birthday money. I flipped my laptop open only to realise I had left a "Big Latina Booty gets a fat one" window open. Her howling screams of pleasure echoed through my kitchen. FML

#16074880 (225)

I agree, your life sucks (3779) - you deserved it (18325)

On 05/07/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by Anon (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I lost my cat. It's deaf, so no matter what I do it can't hear me. FML

#15251582 (240)

I agree, your life sucks (32396) - you deserved it (3260)

On 03/09/2011 at 3:03pm - animals - by blahhlovely_30 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend went down on me for the first time. Just as I was reaching climax my brother raced into the bathroom right next to my door and began to vomit extremely loudly. FML

#15202722 (61)

I agree, your life sucks (24997) - you deserved it (3642)

On 03/05/2011 at 12:05am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

#15165919 (362)

I agree, your life sucks (12951) - you deserved it (62461)

On 03/01/2011 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by Anon. (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, after some passionate love making with my husband, I accidentally farted on his leg. He shrieked and frantically began shaking his leg while screaming, "Get it off! Get it off!" FML

#15079652 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (14509) - you deserved it (22237)

On 02/22/2011 at 4:02pm - intimacy - by CutieBooty (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in my car and stopped at a red light. A homeless woman then started to throw rocks at my car for no apparent reason. I drive a convertible. FML

#14987191 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (20626) - you deserved it (3305)

On 02/15/2011 at 5:21am - misc - by nakcba -

Today, as I got to my first class seat on an airplane, I saw the person I sit next to wafting the smell of their vagina towards themselves and breathing in deeply. It's an eight hour flight. FML

#14239433 (171)

I agree, your life sucks (31510) - you deserved it (2472)

On 12/17/2010 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my wonderful boyfriend asked me if I wanted him to cook me scrambled eggs with sausage for breakfast. When I said yes, he pulled out his junk, and started shaking it violently in my face. FML

#14058992 (190)

I agree, your life sucks (25444) - you deserved it (7152)

On 12/02/2010 at 10:54am - intimacy - by sissydlk (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML

#13799884 (184)

I agree, your life sucks (12148) - you deserved it (23195)

On 11/11/2010 at 8:30am - health - by sweet_stufz - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to Ikea with my family. I was wearing a yellow polo that vaguely looked like the ones the Ikea employees were wearing. Two dozen people came up to me, complaining that I was staring at furniture instead of helping customers. FML

#13698709 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (16141) - you deserved it (8637)

On 11/03/2010 at 6:43am - misc - by MissIsabel - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got fired over MSN. I wasn't even online at the time. FML

#13694009 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (17333) - you deserved it (1702)

On 11/02/2010 at 10:16pm - work - by werewolfoflondon (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my marriage counselor told me I have the communication skills of a Lou Gehrig's patient. FML

#13691597 (69)

I agree, your life sucks (5446) - you deserved it (8341)

On 11/02/2010 at 7:34pm - misc - by djangle (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I finished working on a time lapse project that involved me taking a picture of the same tree, every single day, for two months. When I uploaded all the pictures off my camera, they uploaded out of order. FML

#13687718 (91)

I agree, your life sucks (21677) - you deserved it (3619)

On 11/02/2010 at 12:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was laying in bed with the covers over me, when I got an itch on my leg. It felt really good to scratch it so I got really into it. At that very moment my mom walked in, saw me doing a back and forth motion under the covers, gave me a look of disgust, and walked out. FML

#13673101 (68)

I agree, your life sucks (18604) - you deserved it (3898)

On 11/01/2010 at 9:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I lost the remote control to my TV. I can't change the channel manually on it, and the channel it's stuck on is currently playing an infomercial for the Pos-T-Vac penis pump. I've been watching this for an hour now. I'm a female, and I'm beginning to feel like I need this product. FML

#13403987 (155)

I agree, your life sucks (20516) - you deserved it (6661)

On 10/11/2010 at 6:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)