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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 170
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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ohshizitzrissa's page activity

Visits<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 4:21pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 6:44pm

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ohshizitzrissa's favorite FMLs

Today, I hooked up with the guy I've liked for a while, even though my friends joked that his large pickup truck meant that he was "compensating" for having a small penis. They were right. Very right. FML

by CityBoysNow / 09/10/2013 at 8:14pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the doctor's getting a check up. He asked me if I was allergic to anything, to which I blurted out, "Cats." He gave me a weird look and said, "Don't worry, I won't give you cats." FML

by NoNotCats =^._.^= / 09/03/2013 at 4:17am / United States (Arizona) / Health

Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML

by Anonymous / 06/20/2012 at 7:08pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, I was online looking up ways to lose weight, get thinner and be healthier, all the while eating a slab of brownie that was half the size of my head. FML

by Fattymuch / 09/14/2011 at 10:27am / India (Karnataka) / Health

Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back in the house screaming "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML

by dad / 06/29/2009 at 12:38pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, I was in line at a checkout. I have quite a few facial piercings and 1/2" gauges in my ears. The very heavy cashier asks how big my gauges are and then starts telling me about how she recently got her clitoris pierced and how sometimes she has orgasms behind the register. FML

by toomuchmetal / 06/24/2009 at 3:17pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I went to visit my Grandmother, accidentally leaving my phone home during the weekend. When I got back I had 2 texts from my crush. One saying "I want to take the most beautiful girl to prom, go with me?" and the other saying, "Fine fattie, I'll ask someone else." FML

by promdump / 03/06/2009 at 9:55pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love