About ohnoesnotagain : I am a human being of the female domination, living somewhere on the planet earth. I am between 6 months and 99 years of age. If you want to gain more information about me, you are a stalker.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I had to moisturise my dog's testicles because they got sunburnt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34673) - you deserved it (5641)
On 08/04/2010 at 6:24am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, while at work as a lifeguard, an older gentleman who comes in almost every morning wearing a very tight swimming suit, came up to me and said, "I don't want you having any erotic fantasies of me." After a long pause he added, "Actually, I wouldn't mind it if you do." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26824) - you deserved it (2758)
On 03/17/2010 at 3:32pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I woke up to go pee and my cat followed me into the bathroom as usual. Then, in a not so usual fashion, she tried to jump from the sink to the top of the toilet, missed, and fell into the bowl while I was peeing. I'm scratched in a bad place, I have urine to clean up off the bathroom floor, and a traumatized cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26361) - you deserved it (3520)
On 03/16/2010 at 4:51pm - animals - by Adam (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I learned that in Japan there are monkeys that wait tables and work at a tavern. Literally, I have a job a monkey can do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22547) - you deserved it (3965)
On 03/16/2010 at 11:30am - work - by slickboy0023 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I accidentally downloaded a virus, which hijacked my email program. I somehow doubt the Dean at my university will thank me for my suggestion that he too could experience 100% natural male enhancement pills. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15362) - you deserved it (4104)
On 03/06/2010 at 5:44pm - misc - by smarie09 - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I discovered that my abusive, obsessive, psychotic ex-boyfriend from over two years ago still has a thing for me. How did I find out? Although I've ignored him walking unnecessarily past my house for the past two months, it was hard to ignore when he fell from a tree outside my window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27596) - you deserved it (1766)
On 02/27/2010 at 11:30pm - love - by sacrophage (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got mauled by a cat named Mr. Sprinkles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19849) - you deserved it (4636)
On 02/07/2010 at 10:19pm - animals - by zzdug (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my mom woke me up and asked if I wanted breakfast. I had passed out naked on the kitchen floor after a party. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5339) - you deserved it (26243)
On 02/03/2010 at 3:10pm - misc - by adam - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was spacing out in French class and randomly got an erection. My professor called on me to stand up at the front of the room and say, "I am wearing a belt," in French. Not everyone was observing just my belt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24914) - you deserved it (4356)
On 02/01/2010 at 3:51pm - misc - by boner (man) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I was working at IHOP serving a table full of drunk idiots. After an hour of taking care of them I went to clean up their mess to find the tip they had left me. On a napkin a girl had wrote "Here's your tip for the night: Don't play leap frog with unicorns." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23485) - you deserved it (2287)
On 01/28/2010 at 7:14pm - work - by Juggalette (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28426) - you deserved it (2606)
On 11/01/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by WasteOfTime (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I told my daughter how her eyes look exactly as pretty as my wife's. She told me that she loved the way my eyeballs stick out of my face, just like Elmo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30523) - you deserved it (3673)
On 10/03/2009 at 8:33am - kids - by dessaye (man) - Singapore
Today, I was in the bathroom defecating when I felt something hanging there. I reached back with toilet paper and starting pulling it out inch by inch; 3 feet later I learned I had a tapeworm. Worst of all, no pharmacy has the med the doctor prescribed. I have to live with this thing until the med gets here. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54445) - you deserved it (3021)
On 09/15/2009 at 5:14pm - intimacy - by benander (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, while working my job as a cashier, one of the customers that came to the register was a midget. As part of store policy, I had to ID him, and his driver's license said he was from Florida. So I asked, without catching myself, "How's the weather down there?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25779) - you deserved it (37276)
On 05/09/2009 at 10:05pm - work - by Failoffel (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30746) - you deserved it (75101)
On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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