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About ohmybuddahyo : Average girl.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I woke up with a black eye. Why? My husband was having a dream where he was fighting somebody and wound up punching me in the face in his sleep. I had a very important job interview this morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35929) - you deserved it (1809)
On 08/06/2009 at 3:22pm - love - by DravensMommy (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34097) - you deserved it (56899)
On 08/05/2009 at 1:28am - intimacy - by unbelievable208 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I opened some small cute birthday gifts at my boyfriend's house. As we left to go out, he slipped me a Tiffany box and said he wanted me to open it in private. Flushed and excited, I open it to find a ziploc filled with hair. It was his mustache I had been begging him to shave for months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27652) - you deserved it (14381)
On 07/24/2009 at 2:31am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my suburban, white boyfriend of two years told me he wanted to tell me something serious. He sat me down, looked me in the eye and said "I want to be gangster." I started laughing thinking he was joking. He was 100% serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50655) - you deserved it (5424)
On 07/09/2009 at 1:17am - love - by hatboxghost (man) - United States
Today, I went to the doctor. I told her I felt down all the time. She asked me a few questions and she told me I was depressed. She suggested to go home and find the sources of my depression. When I told my parents, they started laughing and said "Yeah, right." I think I found my source. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40510) - you deserved it (2334)
On 07/02/2009 at 3:49pm - health - by farrahfarrest_ (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went to announce to my son that I am pregnant again. After I told him, he looks up and yells: "fuck this shit!" and walks out of the room. My son is nine years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51172) - you deserved it (18822)
On 06/27/2009 at 12:05am - kids - by poormom (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, while at football practice, my teammates and I were on water break. At the bus barn next to the field, a good-looking girl was washing a bus. Some of the guys started to yell pick-up lines at her from 50 yards away, and pretty soon I chime in. She turns around. It was my younger sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9801) - you deserved it (47617)
On 06/25/2009 at 1:02am - misc - by nail714 (man) - United States
Today, I was talking to this girl who I thought was really nice, we were having an amazing conversation, and as we stared deeply in one another's eyes she asked me "Has anyone ever seen you take a shit?". She then began telling me the story of when someone watched her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36835) - you deserved it (2325)
On 06/23/2009 at 8:08pm - misc - by Jpah (man) - United States (California)
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
I agree, your life sucks (149042) - you deserved it (22383)
On 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm - kids - by ....... (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I ran into an old student of mine at the grocery store. She didn't recognize me at first so I introduced myself as her old teacher. She looked taken aback for a moment, and then said, "Oh my God... you're still alive?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (44860) - you deserved it (2816)
On 06/23/2009 at 7:31am - misc - by feelinblue (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was asking my one year old nephew what noises certain animals make. I decided to trick him and ask him what sound I make. He immediately says, "MOOOO". FML
I agree, your life sucks (28092) - you deserved it (11005)
On 06/21/2009 at 12:03pm - kids - by vballqt201 (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I bought a new mailbox to replace the old one that was stolen. Two hours after I put the new mailbox up, the old one was back and the new one was missing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46788) - you deserved it (2138)
On 06/20/2009 at 2:01am - misc - by Dumbass - United States (Florida)
Today, I was playing with my pet hamster and I decided to put it down my pants for fun. It started running around and I actually got aroused. My mom then walked into my room to see me with an erection and my pet hamster poking his head out of the hole in my boxers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29961) - you deserved it (213783)
On 04/08/2009 at 10:14pm - intimacy - by hammylove (man) - United States (Florida)
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