ohmandapants

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Offline (the 01/09/2015 at 7:32pm)

ohmandapants

26Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 4 July 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 7581
  • Number of comments : 1305
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About ohmandapants : I'm a generally open-minded person. I don't take shit from anyone but I'm friendly if you get on my good side. If you're on my bad side, chances are you're staying there. I'm pretty opinionated but can be pretty shy, depends who I'm with.

ohmandapants's page activity

Visits<b>TigranPet</b> - the 11/14/2016 at 1:28pm<b>big_sam1991</b> - the 11/14/2016 at 9:44am<b>lutessiarose</b> - the 11/02/2016 at 9:11am<b>Chris_1414</b> - the 10/24/2016 at 11:27am<b>eyepuppy</b> - the 10/01/2016 at 7:55am<b>captain_hero89</b> - the 09/15/2016 at 8:12pm<b>16416</b> - the 09/14/2016 at 8:54pm<b>Infamous278</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 10:44pm<b>ThatGuyBrennen1</b> - the 09/04/2016 at 5:18pm<b>wil1029</b> - the 08/30/2016 at 1:00am<b>XRayXLopez1</b> - the 08/29/2016 at 10:01pm<b>alex_gen</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 12:15am<b>panda900</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 5:39pm<b>ruudseriesx</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 3:13pm<b>TexanZaros</b> - the 08/17/2016 at 1:43pm<b>nikkyt19</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 10:39pm<b>acp2002</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 1:17pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 07/28/2016 at 5:12pm

Fucked!<b>XRayXLopez1</b> - the 08/30/2016 at 4:01am<b>alex_gen</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 6:15am<b>ruudseriesx</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 9:13pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 07/28/2016 at 11:13pm<b>VoldooPed</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 2:27pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 12:14pm<b>bmckee196</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 4:30am<b>TacoTerrorist</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 2:46am<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 7:21am<b>bannannabrainz1</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 5:33am<b>Nahpets</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 9:45am<b>paravoz</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 8:20am<b>imkool136</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 10:23pm<b>clairesucks</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 6:24pm<b>jjumprope</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 10:31pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 6:25am<b>dk1991</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 3:06pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 9:03am

ohmandapants's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of ohmandapants's badges

ohmandapants's favorite FMLs

Today, I gave my 16 year old step daughter and her friends a lecture on respecting other people's privacy. Two hours later, I accidentally walked into her room without knocking. She and her friends were giving each other bikini waxes. Now her friends call me the hypocritical pervert. FML

by firewait / 05/12/2009 at 8:23pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I was at the gym when I saw one of my friends at the water fountain. I went over and gave him a man ass slap while he was drinking. It wasn't my friend. I now have a black eye. FML

by JohnFarrell / 04/24/2009 at 1:20pm / United States (Connecticut) / Health

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

by anonymous / 04/21/2009 at 1:42am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I were watching TV. She starts to undo my belt buckle, unzips my fly and then takes my pants off. Right as I'm starting to get really excited, she says to me, "Just joking." FML

by Hikara / 04/13/2009 at 9:44am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my girl friend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said was that good. She was serious. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2009 at 12:12am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my girl friend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said was that good. She was serious. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2009 at 12:12am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy

Today, my parents and I were looking through old photos. My dad comments, "Wow you were chubby back then. But that's ok, it was baby fat." Then he turns to me and asks, "What's your excuse now?" FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 11:38pm / United States (Delaware) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at work and a very obese woman came in to get a pedicure. When she took her shoes off I noticed an odd black substance on her feet. I started scrubbing it off and wondered out loud, "What IS this stuff??" As a chunk of it fell onto my lip, she replied, "Girl, that's just the fungus." FML

by SalonGirl / 03/10/2009 at 7:55am / United States (California) / Work

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

by Noname / 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I was writing an email to our entire company regarding a fundraiser we are taking part in for children and adults with disabilities. I was rushing to get the email out and hit send before I realized that instead of "Best Regards" I had typed "Best Retards" as the closing line. FML

by Can't Spell Worth A Damn / 03/06/2009 at 1:53pm / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids?" I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML

by PicturePerfect / 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was singing Alicia Keys in the shower and hitting the insanely high notes. My father ran into the bathroom and threw open the shower door, screaming. He thought I was wailing in pain. FML

by legit / 03/02/2009 at 12:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was discussing sex with my guy friends in their dorm when I asked one of them what he would do if I got naked and crawled into his bed. He replied, "Nothing. You're one of the guys now." They all agreed. FML

by NeverGonnaGetAny / 02/23/2009 at 2:28pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, while changing my tampon in the stall of my high school's bathroom, I lost control of the plastic applicator. The blood-covered apparatus shot out like a rocket underneath the stall door. For a moment I thought no one noticed, then the screaming began. FML

by isuckatlife / 02/21/2009 at 10:16pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandmother told me that not only does she not accept me as a homosexual man, but that she feels my relationship with a little person is "spitting in God's face." FML

by iamatthewroberts / 02/16/2009 at 9:34pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love