ohmandapants

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Offline (the 01/09/2015 at 7:32pm)

ohmandapants

26Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 4 July 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 7312
  • Number of comments : 1305
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About ohmandapants : I'm a generally open-minded person. I don't take shit from anyone but I'm friendly if you get on my good side. If you're on my bad side, chances are you're staying there. I'm pretty opinionated but can be pretty shy, depends who I'm with.

ohmandapants's page activity

Visits<b>captain_hero89</b> - the 09/15/2016 at 8:12pm<b>16416</b> - the 09/14/2016 at 8:54pm<b>Infamous278</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 10:44pm<b>ThatGuyBrennen1</b> - the 09/04/2016 at 5:18pm<b>wil1029</b> - the 08/30/2016 at 1:00am<b>XRayXLopez1</b> - the 08/29/2016 at 10:01pm<b>alex_gen</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 12:15am<b>panda900</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 5:39pm<b>ruudseriesx</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 3:13pm<b>TexanZaros</b> - the 08/17/2016 at 1:43pm<b>nikkyt19</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 10:39pm<b>acp2002</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 1:17pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 07/28/2016 at 5:12pm<b>Chibster</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 4:24pm<b>EDGE1095</b> - the 07/24/2016 at 3:26pm<b>Jakey_Ringo</b> - the 07/24/2016 at 1:59am<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 5:25pm<b>Srxjo</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 11:17am

Fucked!<b>XRayXLopez1</b> - the 08/30/2016 at 4:01am<b>alex_gen</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 6:15am<b>ruudseriesx</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 9:13pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 07/28/2016 at 11:13pm<b>VoldooPed</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 2:27pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 12:14pm<b>bmckee196</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 4:30am<b>TacoTerrorist</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 2:46am<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 7:21am<b>bannannabrainz1</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 5:33am<b>Nahpets</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 9:45am<b>paravoz</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 8:20am<b>imkool136</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 10:23pm<b>clairesucks</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 6:24pm<b>jjumprope</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 10:31pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 6:25am<b>dk1991</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 3:06pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 9:03am

ohmandapants's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of ohmandapants's badges

ohmandapants's favorite FMLs

Today, my band played its first real gig. It was going well, and I, the vocalist, thought it would be a good idea to stage dive. I underestimated the distance between the stage and the crowd and crashed into the floor. FML

by stagedivefail / 08/19/2009 at 10:36am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received a text from my girlfriend to break up with me. I was upset. One minute later another text from her said "sorry, wrong person." FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2009 at 1:06am / Kazakhstan (Almaty) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my aunt to pluck my eyebrows since hers are perfectly done. What I didn't know is she gets hers professionally shaped and she doesn't know how to shape eyebrows. I now look like a surprised Vulcan. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2009 at 6:11pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML

by theregoesmyspermcount / 08/02/2009 at 6:45pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I came home tired and hungry from work. I put my feet up and sat down with a big bowl of chips and salsa. I thought I must have been really hungry because my regular no-name salsa tasted way better than usual. I looked down to examine the jar. Looks like I like the taste of mold. FML

by special-ingredient / 08/01/2009 at 11:41pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I planned a surprise birthday party for my boyfriend. I invited all his friend and made all his favorite food. He was running very late, so I called to ask what was taking so long. His response? He said he was at his house, with the very friends I was standing next to. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I was snuggling in bed with my girlfriend. She was depressed, so I complimented her strong legs, saying they were "like a horse." I spent the next hour and a half trying to stop her crying. FML

by Seabiscuit / 07/06/2009 at 12:03am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I was at walmart when my stomach began to hurt. I quickly waddled to the restroom in pain. As soon as I got in the stall, a huge crap exploded out of me. The child in the stall next to me started crying. When her mom asked what was wrong she said that I'd "killed her nose". FML

by poopshooter101 / 06/30/2009 at 7:53am / United States (Georgia) / Health

Today, I realized how much I hate my apartment. Not only can I hear my creepy upstairs neighbor having sex with random hookers every few night, I can also hear him everytime he takes a shit. I honestly don't know which is worse. FML

by Steph / 06/21/2009 at 8:05am / Bulgaria (Grad Sofiya) / Intimacy

Today, was my boyfriend's birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML

by jinxofsocal / 06/21/2009 at 12:16am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was partnered with this really sexy guy for an audition. He says, "Am I really stuck with you? I can't even stand being seen with you in public!" I start cursing him out really loud, but then I realize that he's only reading the script. Everyone was staring, and he called me a crazy bitch. FML

by jazzyfizzle / 05/30/2009 at 9:13pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching Harry Potter. When all the students at Hogwarts started to clap at one point, I started clapping myself. FML

by whoahshloann / 05/30/2009 at 7:48pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the hospital in premature labor. Alone, I texted my best friend/crush and asked him to come and sit with me for an hour while I waited on my mom to arrive. Eating cornflakes and watching TV, he replied "I can't". Apparently TV is more important than a best friend in labor. FML

by way2gosam / 05/26/2009 at 12:52am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, as I was watching a DVD, I noticed a spider crawling on my crotch area. So, I panicked and smashed the spider, smashing my nuts in the process. FML

by jrocks / 05/19/2009 at 1:06pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a Taylor Swift concert. At the concert they put up a sign that said "Scream if you love country boys." My boyfriend took one look at it and started screaming. FML

by TayTay / 05/16/2009 at 3:52am / United States (Washington) / Love