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About ohmandapants : I'm a generally open-minded person. I don't take shit from anyone but I'm friendly if you get on my good side. If you're on my bad side, chances are you're staying there. I'm pretty opinionated but can be pretty shy, depends who I'm with.
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Today, After A Few Months Of Mah Neighbors Friend Parking Outside His House An Honking Until He Cummed Outside, I Happened To Be Out Doing Lawn Work. I Politely Screamed ( STOP HONKING YOUR F***ING HORN! ) To Which They Responded By Moving In Front Of MY House An Holding Down Their Horn. I Hate People. FML
Today , I dropped my phone in water , an my friends told me to putted it in rice to draw out the water !! They putted my phone in riceroni !! My phone now smells like chicken an has rice seasoning stuck all over it !! Needless to say it still doesn't work !! FML
Today , after several hours of trying to get my triplet daughters to go to bed , they finally fell asleep!! Exhausted , I went to the bathroom so I could go to bed!! Not thinking about it , I dropped the toilet seat down rather loudly and flushed the toilet!! All three grls woke up crying!! FML
TODAY... I LOST MY PHONE. I TRIED TO CALL IT USING MY HUSBAND'S PHONE... BUT COULDN'T FIGURE OUT WHICH OF THE THREE KATES IN THE CONTACT LIST WAS ME. TURNS OUT... TWO ARE CO-WORKERS AN ONE IS HIS AUNT. I WAS LISTED UNDER SATAN. FML
TODAY AFTER PUKING ALL OVER THE BATHROOM AND LEGS I CALLD HUSBAND FOR SYMPATHY. THE FIRST THING HE SAYS IS ( DID YOU CRY? ) AND WHEN I ANSWERD NO INSTEAD OF WISHING ME BETTER HE QUICKLY EXCLAIMD ( WHO'S MY BIG GIRL! ) FML
Today... I finally felt ready to take my bra off during sex. My breast had "deflated" somewhat due to weight loss and I was really self-consciou about them... but my boyfriend insisted I was hot no matter what. When the bra cummed off... the dick got soft. FML
Today, after ten minutes of squishing mah boobs together 4 mah boyfriend, trying to get him to stare, he glanced at them then blankly said "I've seen better tits on mah mom, so baby just stop that" and smiled. FML
Today, after being dumped just 48 hours prior, I awoke from a night of passionate lovemaking with my ex . Last night, he cummed to my house, romanced me, and presented a possible future . This morning, when I got up to use the restroom, my laptop, money, and ex-boyfriend were gone . FML
Today, I thought about my boyfriend and all the things we used to do together yeres ago. Today, I also spent the day doing my now husband's laundry and watching him sit on the couch with his hand inside his underwear. big fat FML
Friday 27 March 2015