ohmandapants

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Offline (the 01/09/2015 at 7:32pm)

ohmandapants

26Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 4 July 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 7295
  • Number of comments : 1305
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About ohmandapants : I'm a generally open-minded person. I don't take shit from anyone but I'm friendly if you get on my good side. If you're on my bad side, chances are you're staying there. I'm pretty opinionated but can be pretty shy, depends who I'm with.

ohmandapants's page activity

Visits<b>captain_hero89</b> - the 09/15/2016 at 8:12pm<b>16416</b> - the 09/14/2016 at 8:54pm<b>Infamous278</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 10:44pm<b>ThatGuyBrennen1</b> - the 09/04/2016 at 5:18pm<b>wil1029</b> - the 08/30/2016 at 1:00am<b>XRayXLopez1</b> - the 08/29/2016 at 10:01pm<b>alex_gen</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 12:15am<b>panda900</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 5:39pm<b>ruudseriesx</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 3:13pm<b>TexanZaros</b> - the 08/17/2016 at 1:43pm<b>nikkyt19</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 10:39pm<b>acp2002</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 1:17pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 07/28/2016 at 5:12pm<b>Chibster</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 4:24pm<b>EDGE1095</b> - the 07/24/2016 at 3:26pm<b>Jakey_Ringo</b> - the 07/24/2016 at 1:59am<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 5:25pm<b>Srxjo</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 11:17am

Fucked!<b>XRayXLopez1</b> - the 08/30/2016 at 4:01am<b>alex_gen</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 6:15am<b>ruudseriesx</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 9:13pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 07/28/2016 at 11:13pm<b>VoldooPed</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 2:27pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 12:14pm<b>bmckee196</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 4:30am<b>TacoTerrorist</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 2:46am<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 7:21am<b>bannannabrainz1</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 5:33am<b>Nahpets</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 9:45am<b>paravoz</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 8:20am<b>imkool136</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 10:23pm<b>clairesucks</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 6:24pm<b>jjumprope</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 10:31pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 6:25am<b>dk1991</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 3:06pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 9:03am

ohmandapants's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of ohmandapants's badges

ohmandapants's favorite FMLs

Today, after a few months of my neighbors friend parking outside his house and honking until he came outside, I happened to be out doing lawn work. I politely screamed "STOP HONKING YOUR F***ING HORN!" To which they responded by moving in front of MY house and holding down their horn. I hate people. FML

by Myself / 09/06/2010 at 6:45am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my boyfriend has been cheating on me. When I confronted him about it, he asked which girl I'd found out about. FML

by Sara246 / 08/19/2010 at 7:11pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I dropped my phone in water, and my friends told me to put it in rice to draw out the water. They put my phone in riceroni. My phone now smells like chicken and has rice seasoning stuck all over it. Needless to say it still doesn't work. FML

by rosesareyellow / 07/30/2010 at 12:40am / United States (Alabama) / Geek

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML

by megaladon / 06/28/2010 at 4:12am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, after several hours of trying to get my triplet daughters to go to bed, they finally fell asleep. Exhausted, I went to the bathroom so I could go to bed. Not thinking about it, I dropped the toilet seat down rather loudly and flushed the toilet. All three girls woke up crying. FML

by sigh... / 06/25/2010 at 2:44am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I found out my 19 year old daughter is pregnant. The father is a toss up between my 45 year-old best friend, and the 30 year old guy who cleans our pool. FML

by Anonymous / 06/15/2010 at 9:27pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, while having sex with the guy I have seen for about 3 years, he answered the phone. I found out that he had a girlfriend while he was inside me. FML

by coltsfoot / 05/23/2010 at 5:08am / Norway (Ostfold) / Intimacy

Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML

by Satan / 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, while getting it on with my wife, I started to talk dirty to her. She started laughing. When I asked her if she wanted me to stop, she just kept on laughing. FML

by StretchNuts / 03/11/2010 at 7:50am / United States / Intimacy

Today, after puking all over the bathroom and my legs, I called my husband for sympathy. The first thing he says is "Did you cry?" and when I answered no, instead of wishing me better he quickly exclaimed "WHO'S MY BIG GIRL!" FML

by gotitEVERYWHERE / 03/08/2010 at 5:40pm / United States (Georgia) / Health

Today, I finally felt ready to take my bra off during sex. My breasts had "deflated" somewhat due to weight loss and I was really self-conscious about them, but my boyfriend insisted I was hot no matter what. When the bra came off, the dick got soft. FML

by victoriassecret / 03/03/2010 at 4:24am / United States / Intimacy

Today, after ten minutes of squishing my boobs together for my boyfriend, trying to get him to stare, he glanced at them then blankly said "I've seen better tits on my mom, so baby just stop that" and smiled. FML

by oboy / 03/01/2010 at 12:13am / United States / Intimacy

Today, after being dumped just 48 hours prior, I awoke from a night of passionate lovemaking with my ex. Last night, he came to my house, romanced me, and presented a possible future. This morning, when I got up to use the restroom, my laptop, money, and ex-boyfriend were gone. FML

by Ennui / 02/20/2010 at 2:12pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was carrying a hot cup of noodles. I sneezed and accidentally stabbed myself in the forehead with a fork. FML

by Nick / 02/11/2010 at 1:35pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought about my boyfriend and all the things we used to do together years ago. Today, I also spent the day doing my now husband's laundry and watching him sit on the couch with his hand inside his underwear. FML

by Bruja5 / 02/07/2010 at 12:15am / United States (New Jersey) / Love