Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ohmandapants

Offline (the 01/09/2015 at 7:32pm) | Search for a member

ohmandapants

20Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 4 July 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 6525
  • Number of comments : 1305
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About ohmandapants : I'm a generally open-minded person. I don't take shit from anyone but I'm friendly if you get on my good side. If you're on my bad side, chances are you're staying there. I'm pretty opinionated but can be pretty shy, depends who I'm with.

ohmandapants's page activity

Visits<b>bmckee196</b> - 19 hours ago<b>thundercrow1999</b> - yesterday at 1:10am<b>drunkmunkey</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 1:00am<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 12:09pm<b>Hrodrik</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 7:39pm<b>stingray112</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 4:42pm<b>LymeLyte</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 9:38am<b>immaloser95</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 8:08pm<b>helloimclaudia</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 6:02pm<b>TacoTerrorist</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 8:46pm<b>FyeahPoet</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 1:04pm<b>Adamjohn82</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 8:05pm<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 1:21am<b>Stephanoze</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 7:23pm<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 3:24pm<b>sandormatyi</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 11:54am<b>Zatert</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 6:49pm<b>Malteser95</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 1:08am

Fucked!<b>bmckee196</b> - 13 hours ago<b>TacoTerrorist</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 2:46am<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 7:21am<b>Hrodrik</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 6:58am<b>bannannabrainz1</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 5:33am<b>Nahpets</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 9:45am<b>paravoz</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 8:20am<b>imkool136</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 10:23pm<b>clairesucks</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 6:24pm<b>jjumprope</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 10:31pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 6:25am<b>dk1991</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 3:06pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 9:03am<b>ekimen</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 11:16am<b>IamHercules</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 12:48am<b>unluckyorwhat</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 1:29am<b>cooper3991</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 8:29am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 11:43pm

ohmandapants's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of ohmandapants's badges

ohmandapants's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend on the phone. The subject of abuse came up and I told her that if her father ever hurt her I would cut his dick off. The next thing I hear is, "Don't say shit you can't back up!" Her father had picked up the phone the moment I'd said it. FML

#14699951
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28942) - you deserved it (13050)

On 01/24/2011 at 5:47pm - intimacy - by Fucked (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while at school, I slipped on a wet patch in the hall and fell over, smacking my head against the floor. I laid there for a good five minutes in agonizing pain while people literally walked over me. Not a single person bothered to help me up or ask if I was okay. FML

#14698877
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34767) - you deserved it (4091)

On 01/24/2011 at 3:38pm - misc - by damnbananas (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend spent an hour lecturing me on how I need to ask for what I want. So I asked him to delete a crappy picture he'd taken of me the night before. His response: "No, you don't always get what you want." FML

#14639216
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28525) - you deserved it (9201)

On 01/19/2011 at 2:19pm - love - by ugh (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while working at a dollar store, I was clobbered by a woman because apparently, I was ripping her off by charging two dollars for two doughnuts. She didn't understand that she couldn't buy multiple items at once for one dollar. FML

#14568173
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31720) - you deserved it (2549)

On 01/13/2011 at 6:00pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got a call from Red Cross about the blood donation I gave last week. They informed me that I have Hepatitis C. FML

#14524206
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38516) - you deserved it (4086)

On 01/09/2011 at 7:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Serbia

Today, feeling melancholy, I took a blanket out to the backyard and lay down to look at the clouds. My dad came out to ask me what I was doing. I told him, he smirked, squatted over my face, and farted. He then ran back inside and told my mom. She laughed. FML

#14490240
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32143) - you deserved it (5999)

On 01/06/2011 at 9:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had a plaster cast removed from my arm. After telling the nurse it felt like the saw was cutting my skin, she tells me there is no way that it could touch my skin and that I was being paranoid. She cracked open the cast. Burns, blisters and bleeding skin were revealed. FML

#14484091
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46341) - you deserved it (2727)

On 01/06/2011 at 9:54am - health - by omfgitburns (man) -

Today, at a gynecologist's appointment, I was privileged to have 7 co-ed nursing students stare at my vagina for 25 minutes as part of their training. At one point the doctor apologized for having to "open me up more than usual", but said she wanted everyone to get a good view. FML

#14153563
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46379) - you deserved it (5187)

On 12/10/2010 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by RevolutionLove - United States

 Today, my girlfriend and I had an argument. She admitted she didn't know why she was pissed at me, but still is, and now she won't talk to me. FML

#14092171
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26756) - you deserved it (4014)

On 12/05/2010 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was forced to go to the mall with my dad. He wore a bear suit the entire time. FML

#13954362
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29460) - you deserved it (4972)

On 11/23/2010 at 9:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I was on the phone with my girlfriend. Just as she said "I love you", the credit on my phone runs out. She now thinks that I've purposely hung up on her. She refuses to speak to me until I tell her the real reason I hung up. FML

#13634091
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30064) - you deserved it (3661)

On 10/29/2010 at 12:48am - love - by lovegotmehung (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend called and told me he had cheated on me with a minor. She is claiming rape and going to put him in jail. He asked me to help him pay for his attorney. FML

#13496641
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44614) - you deserved it (3814)

On 10/18/2010 at 8:03am - love - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in the elevator with my new boss. He asked things like "How are you?" "How's your day going?" and "What's for dinner?" I answered everything and tried to make small talk. I then noticed that he was wearing a bluetooth and was talking to someone else. FML

#13375459
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32666) - you deserved it (7074)

On 10/09/2010 at 5:41am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my girlfriend's father if I could marry his daughter. He smiled, shook my hand, and said "No, now get out of my house." FML

#13353894
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43407) - you deserved it (4645)

On 10/07/2010 at 10:26am - love - by Vinny1017 - United States (New York)

Today, a crying kid was brought to my attention by a customer. He was so upset from losing his mom that he couldn't say his name or his moms name. I took him around the store asking him to point out his mom. Once we found her she told me "I was hiding from my kid to test his independence." FML

#13107358
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38437) - you deserved it (2661)

On 09/19/2010 at 12:27am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: