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About ohmandapants : I'm a generally open-minded person. I don't take shit from anyone but I'm friendly if you get on my good side. If you're on my bad side, chances are you're staying there. I'm pretty opinionated but can be pretty shy, depends who I'm with.
Don't thumb me down because you have some weird ass Internet issue with me. You're thumbing the comment, not who posted.
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, my five year old daughter asked me what a divorce was. When I asked why she wanted to know, she replied with "Daddy wants one. He says you can have me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (52665) - you deserved it (2711)
On 06/05/2011 at 1:17am - love - by dumped - United States (Utah)
Today, after fifth block, I decided to go for a little walk. Apparently so did my boyfriend and best friend. I found them together under the stairs with her head in his crotch. She said she was looking for her contacts. His pants were pulled down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45035) - you deserved it (3056)
On 05/18/2011 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by levi69 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15662) - you deserved it (44665)
On 05/16/2011 at 1:40am - intimacy - by phoenix101 -
Today, on my Facebook, the stripper my ex husband cheated on me with showed up in the "People You May Know" box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34358) - you deserved it (2804)
On 05/14/2011 at 9:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, as I was out walking, one homeless man sitting with two others asked me for something to eat. Trying to do a good deed, I bought the three men a bag of apples. They then fought viciously over them before the first man chased me for handing them to "the wrong one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22635) - you deserved it (3052)
On 04/19/2011 at 11:37am - misc - by oops (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was watching Animal Planet while babysitting my 4 year-old niece. A really cute baby bunny came on and I called her into the room, only for her to see it get killed by a Bald Eagle. Now she won't stop crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24045) - you deserved it (11971)
On 04/04/2011 at 6:13am - kids - by arbiter3 -
Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33064) - you deserved it (21798)
On 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm - misc - by rowie1311 (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)
Today, at the age of 16, I'm recovering from hip surgery. My friends took me out to the movies to cheer me up. They thought it would be hilarious to steal my crutches and leave me stranded and alone in the mall, multiple times. It wasn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31650) - you deserved it (2712)
On 03/20/2011 at 11:03am - misc - by crutchy (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I tried a new sugar scrub soap that's supposed to help get rid of cellulite. I didn't read the instructions correctly and now as well as still having the cellulite, my butt looks like I got a massage from an angry cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4952) - you deserved it (21017)
On 02/27/2011 at 9:20pm - health - by shirley (woman) - Spain
Today, I found out my friends call me 'Shamu the whale' behind my back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22086) - you deserved it (4899)
On 02/27/2011 at 2:28pm - misc - by Shamu (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I desperately tried to explain to my boyfriend why he shouldn't talk about the bible during sex. He honestly doesn't understand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28189) - you deserved it (5359)
On 02/21/2011 at 6:15pm - intimacy - by Clare (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house and sat around while he played video games. He turned to me and could see I was annoyed. Then he told his friends on XBox Live that he needed a 10 minute break to have sex with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30124) - you deserved it (6001)
On 02/19/2011 at 12:22am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was attacked by clowns at work. I don't work at the circus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23011) - you deserved it (2568)
On 02/08/2011 at 11:27am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post and a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38705) - you deserved it (6459)
On 01/31/2011 at 5:46pm - intimacy - by anon - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was talking to my girlfriend on the phone. The subject of abuse came up and I told her that if her father ever hurt her I would cut his dick off. The next thing I hear is, "Don't say shit you can't back up!" Her father had picked up the phone the moment I'd said it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18188) - you deserved it (8814)
On 01/24/2011 at 5:47pm - intimacy - by Fucked (man) - United States (Georgia)
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