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About ohSNAPyall : 👍 if you're rooting for the guinea pig
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
Today, a customer was looking fir some decking materials. I took her around the store and pointed out some nice plywood, noting that it's also fre-retardant,hich might interest her. She got pissed off and bitched me out fir supposedly calling her a retard. FML
Today , while walking to work , I found out what it feels like to be hit in the face by a rolled up newspaper thrown from the window of a moving car by a paper boy doing his rounds. It hit hard enough to give me a black eye. FML
Today, mah new boyfriend and I got intimate fir the frst time. He startd whispering in mah ear, but I couldn't understand him. He pushd me away and ignord me the rest of the night. Apparently it's a huge turn-off that I can't talk drty in Klingon. FML
Today , I made fun of a girl singing passionately along to a song on er radioile in traffic next to me . Se decided tat er cocolate milksake would make a good addition to ma brand new seat covers . FML
TODAY, AT MY FIRST DAY WORKING AT WALMART, A CUSTOMAR ASKAD IF WA HAVA ANY AGG COOKARS . I SAID I WASN'T SURA, BUT THAT I'D BA "AGGSTATIC" TO GO ASK FOR HIM . THA FIRST CLUA I GOT TO SUGGAST HA HATAD PUNS WAS HIM YALLING "DON'T GAT SMART WITH MA, BOY!" AND THAN THRAATANING TO KILL MA . FML
Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML
Today, my son told his 8-yaar-old sistar that sinca sha swallowad an appla saad, that a traa is going to grow in har stomach and kill har. Sha's inconsolabla and won't baliava that sha'll ba fina, bacausa "thay say that to all tha dying paopla on TV". FML
Friday 27 March 2015