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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was playing hide and seek with a few friends. I hid in the bathroom, under the sink in a cabinet. I ended up having to sit there quiet as a mouse while my grandfather took an incredibly long and vile dump. I was too afraid to move. Let's just say he didn't rush it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26127) - you deserved it (6818)
On 12/20/2010 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went to the mall with my daughter. She asked me if she could go see Santa, so I said yes. She made me sit on his lap with her, and that's when I felt something on my bum. Let's just say Santa had a present for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29132) - you deserved it (4517)
On 12/19/2010 at 7:23pm - intimacy - by hotmommy -
Today, I put my old kitchen table at the end of my driveway with a free sign on it. Later, I saw my neighbor drag it to his yard with a $50 for sale sign on it. It's now gone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8400) - you deserved it (22036)
On 12/19/2010 at 12:41am - misc - by synyster505 - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML
I agree, your life sucks (31874) - you deserved it (7736)
On 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm - intimacy - by Wisconsin love - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I asked my mother why she didn't drink. She laughed and said, "The last time I drank was the night you were conceived. I didn't need any other disasters." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26732) - you deserved it (2985)
On 12/12/2010 at 4:55pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I planned to drop a water balloon on my visiting prankster brother from my new apartment's balcony. As he crossed the street, I launched the balloon, and sent it right behind him. It hit an eight year old on a scooter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5155) - you deserved it (21464)
On 12/07/2010 at 11:20pm - misc - by bullseyed (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8785) - you deserved it (60926)
On 12/07/2010 at 1:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my daughter told my son that Santa is not real. Of course, being a child, he started to cry. My only problem is, my son is 11 and my daughter is 6. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25776) - you deserved it (4555)
On 12/07/2010 at 1:25pm - kids - by Cherie - United States (New York)
Today, I decided to take a nap in the university library. I felt like I'd only closed my eyes for a minute, when a random guy woke me up to tell me that I'd been farting in my sleep for the last half hour, and that the librarian was becoming concerned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20465) - you deserved it (6270)
On 12/06/2010 at 5:53pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I came home from work to find my five year old daughter drawing unicorns on the wall. The same wall that I had to repaint last week because it had puppies on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18116) - you deserved it (7543)
On 12/05/2010 at 8:53am - kids - by Ed - United States (California)
Today, I lied when my therapist asked why I preferred Tuesday morning appointments. It's actually because World of Warcraft is down for regularly scheduled maintenance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7378) - you deserved it (22974)
On 11/30/2010 at 10:23am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I caught my daughter attempting to stick pencils up our cat's butt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29985) - you deserved it (3516)
On 11/29/2010 at 10:03pm - kids - by Laura -
Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23037) - you deserved it (2937)
On 11/27/2010 at 9:17pm - health - by fulloshit - United States (Washington)
Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of 4 years. I took the whole day to cook a nice meal, and stuck the ring in a cookie that I was going to give to her. In the middle of the dinner I was holding the cookie under the table, about to give it to her. My dog ate it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27119) - you deserved it (9463)
On 11/24/2010 at 2:06pm - love - by ryansmithho (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23825) - you deserved it (7896)
On 11/24/2010 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Heyy - United States (Washington)
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