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obnum

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obnum
  • Town/Country : I'm not sure..., USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 January 1990 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 1263
  • Number of comments : 164
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 21 posted

About obnum : Some stuff about me, even though it's more than a little weird that you're checking out my profile... I have a weird sense of humor, I use sarcasm a lot, I'm a grammar nazi, and I hate stupid people. Trolls make me laugh.

The FML counter is wrong. I have 5 FMLs confirmed out of 19.

Yep, my life is pretty fucked. ;)

Seriously though, most of them were funny rather than terrible. It's what this site is for, right? Laughing at some annoyances in people's lives. I hate when I come across ones that are actually really bad for OP.

Don't message me, I never check them.

obnum's last visitors

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obnum's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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obnum's favorite FMLs

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

#21112870
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31423) - you deserved it (3531)

On 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML

#21112406
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27332) - you deserved it (4046)

On 04/13/2014 at 11:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, after years of frustration, I got a t-shirt printed that says, "I am a girl". FML

#21097950
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33578) - you deserved it (4742)

On 03/27/2014 at 6:34pm - misc - by mookiemookie01 (woman) -

Today, a bee flew into my classroom and landed on my cheek. Not only am I allergic to these things, I was hit in the face with a textbook to "make sure it's dead." FML

Today, I wanted to eat my last bowl of sugary cereal before starting my new diet. I fell down the stairs with the full bowl in hand. Message received, universe. FML

#21097759
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35815) - you deserved it (6760)

On 03/27/2014 at 2:10pm - health - by bonbon789 - United States

Today, I woke up, ate breakfast, and left my dorm room, only to see about half a dozen people and my roommate shuffling around in the hall. Their zombie outfits and limping were so realistic that I freaked out and ran back inside, screaming. They think it was the greatest prank ever. FML

#21093670
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36850) - you deserved it (9370)

On 03/22/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by campus pussy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I met my mom's new business partner for the first time. I shook his hand, and introduced myself as "Lisa's daughter". I'm a guy. FML

#21085066
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33068) - you deserved it (10829)

On 03/12/2014 at 6:23pm - work - by CurtisWogan (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was walking through town with my hood up and noticed people giving me funny looks. It wasn't until I got home that I realised the umbrella I was holding over my head had been closed the whole time. FML

#21079127
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35799) - you deserved it (14224)

On 03/05/2014 at 9:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Portsmouth)

Today, I was doing a science presentation about glucose. There was around 20 judges at the event who could've judged me, but instead I got judged by the only person in the whole entire world who doesn't know what glucose is and doesn't think it exists. FML

#21066140
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40320) - you deserved it (2630)

On 02/20/2014 at 12:27am - work - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was grading work my students had done with a sub. I realized one student had gotten hold of the teachers' edition of the textbook when I read ten papers in a row that had "Student answers may vary" as the answer to problem number four. My students can't even cheat properly. FML

#21061154
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49052) - you deserved it (4610)

On 02/15/2014 at 2:11am - work - by chinaski7628 - United States (California)

Today, my mother-in-law tried to "accidentally" run me over. FML

#21052599
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42038) - you deserved it (3689)

On 02/06/2014 at 6:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, school was out because of snow. My dad walked in my room and shouted "Why are you home?!" I told him why, and he replied, "Then get out the damn house and play in the snow." He tossed me out in nothing but my shorts. FML

#21037332
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35157) - you deserved it (4111)

On 01/23/2014 at 4:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML

#21015899
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40177) - you deserved it (7591) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/03/2014 at 6:28pm - misc - by Elisa_LmR (woman) - France

Today, a kid from my school called me, saying he's going on vacation to Japan soon and that since I was born there, I could teach him the language. His exact words at the start of the call were: "Hey man, you speak Asian, right?" I have to be around this shithead 5 days a week. FML

#20992530
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41865) - you deserved it (3439)

On 12/14/2013 at 5:39pm - misc - by bnc (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

#20972170
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28832) - you deserved it (13483)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)



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