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obnum

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obnum

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 January 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1619
  • Number of comments : 167
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 22 posted

About obnum : Some stuff about me, even though it's more than a little weird that you're checking out my profile... I have a weird sense of humor, I use sarcasm a lot, I'm a grammar nazi, and I hate stupid people. Trolls make me laugh.

The FML counter is wrong. I have 5 FMLs confirmed out of 19.

Yep, my life is pretty fucked. ;)

Seriously though, most of them were funny rather than terrible. It's what this site is for, right? Laughing at some annoyances in people's lives. I hate when I come across ones that are actually really bad for OP.

Don't message me, I never check them.

obnum's page activity

Visits<b>cocainewhore</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 6:34pm<b>db32</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 7:36pm<b>TheMrJoee</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 6:03pm<b>sammeb002</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 11:32am<b>BoltTheSuperdog</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 4:16pm<b>lb0812</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 4:12pm<b>sh4d0w86</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 1:42pm<b>MrsWinchester</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 1:42pm<b>isaacthedoge</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 1:40pm<b>wondercat40</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 12:55pm<b>justindrew14</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 2:40pm<b>grilledchildren</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 1:44pm<b>colby6666</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 1:21pm<b>Kreeak</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 11:46pm<b>jon06</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 6:43pm<b>curticus</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 2:25am<b>Alvarortor</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 10:51pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 1:37am

obnum's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of obnum's badges

obnum's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

#21240482
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31190) - you deserved it (10268)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by embarrassed - United States (New York)

Today, I listened to a little girl explain how her scabs taste great with lemon juice. FML

#21240451
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30080) - you deserved it (2590)

On 08/18/2014 at 11:13am - kids - by Stellarum (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML

Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML

Today, I had a job interview where I was interrupted for using the word creative because there is "only one creator". FML

#21189976
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39721) - you deserved it (4083)

On 06/27/2014 at 2:11am - work - by IAMALITAHA (man) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, my dad made the local news. The business he owns is so run down and overgrown that it's officially a public health hazard. FML

#21189640
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38993) - you deserved it (4372)

On 06/26/2014 at 9:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, our dishwasher door broke. My mom made me sit there for an hour straight, holding the door shut so it would work. FML

Today, I came back home after a year studying abroad. Imagine my surprise when I found out my mom had gotten breast implants while I was away. All through dinner, I kept catching myself staring at them. No wonder my dad was so much happier than when I left. FML

#21184159
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38314) - you deserved it (4531)

On 06/22/2014 at 12:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I stubbed the same toe three times in fifteen minutes. How? My sister moved most of the furniture in the house to the left by a few inches, because she thought it would be funny to watch me get confused and suffer. FML

#21183245
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44571) - you deserved it (6534)

On 06/21/2014 at 3:57pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I heard my husband say from outside, "Seriously Dan, what could go wrong?" This was followed a few seconds later by a bang and screaming. Turns out he'd tried to smash his head through a wooden plank like a martial artist and failed. He ended up with splinters and a concussion. FML

#21182978
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39649) - you deserved it (4757)

On 06/21/2014 at 11:15am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my doctor got my blood test results from the lab. He looked at me gravely and told me I had just weeks left to live. After I started hyperventilating and crying, he burst out laughing and said he was kidding. He then prescribed me some iron tablets and sent me on my way. FML

#21182241
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50933) - you deserved it (5898)

On 06/20/2014 at 7:03pm - health - by legitfile.bat.virus.exe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a fly landed on my face. Before I could even react, my brother "helpfully" punched it hard enough to both kill the fly and knock me out. FML

#21182108
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41786) - you deserved it (4247)

On 06/20/2014 at 5:00pm - health - by blackchin III (man) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, I woke up and put my contacts in. It appears that I got drunk enough last night that instead of soaking my contacts in contact solution, I used mouthwash. FML

#21181415
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41031) - you deserved it (22154)

On 06/20/2014 at 1:06am - misc - by anon - United States (Missouri)

Today, while working in a call center at a university, someone threatened to report me to the President of the University because "I" wouldn't accept their daughter who had a 1.5 GPA and "got accepted into Harvard". I don't even make the decisions, I just answer calls. FML

Today, I became the town racist for saying "black" instead of "African-American". I'm black. FML

#21179835
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54426) - you deserved it (5056)

On 06/18/2014 at 9:14pm - misc - by guest - United States (California)



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