About nukeacat : Has had three open heart surgeries.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, after working out at the gym, I went to grab my bag, and realized that my phone was missing. Panicking, I reached into my pocket, pulled out my phone, and dialed my mom's number to tell her I'd lost it. It took me until the last ring to realize what I was doing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8460) - you deserved it (25732)
On 03/01/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, a guy I went on one date with asked me out again via text. Being honest, I texted back, politely saying that he was a good guy but I wasn't really interested. He came over to my house, screaming about how awful I was for "text message breaking up with him" and then cracked my windshield. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29450) - you deserved it (2843)
On 02/26/2013 at 11:43am - love - by fuckedover - United States
Today, I got talking to a pretty girl on the subway. Just as she was about to get off, I handed her my phone so that she could give me her number. She ran out with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12544) - you deserved it (32015) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 02/26/2013 at 12:02am - love - by crétin-crédule - France (Limousin)
Today, I got stuck in traffic when a shootout started somewhere behind. I lowered myself and suddenly a bullet punctured a hole in the rear screen. When I managed to get away, I called my wife in a panic. She didn't pick up so I sent her a text about what just happened. Her reply: "K". FML
I agree, your life sucks (41995) - you deserved it (2387)
On 02/25/2013 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by n3ov (man) - Pakistan (Islamabad)
Today, at my mother's funeral, as everyone was around her casket for the viewing, my 5-year-old son in cluelessness of what was going on shouted, "Grandma is more fun when she isn't sleeping." Everyone cried. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33525) - you deserved it (2266)
On 02/25/2013 at 6:00pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I locked my keys in my truck. The good news is that I have a spare set in my house. The bad news is that my house key is on the same keyring as my locked-in truck key. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20385) - you deserved it (6615)
On 02/25/2013 at 5:30pm - misc - by burning balls of fuck this - United States (Virginia)
Today, my fiancé is returning home, so I decided to wax myself, thinking things would get intimate. I warmed the wax strips and set them on the counter. Our cat jumped onto the counter and managed to roll onto one of the strips. Suffice to say, the wrong pussy got a painful waxing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34387) - you deserved it (5971)
On 02/25/2013 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, while driving extremely fast on a road in the middle of nowhere, I started to go down a hill. Noticing a police car at the bottom, I slammed my brakes and blew a tire in the process. It turns out the police car was an old cutout used to trick people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8566) - you deserved it (44471)
On 02/24/2013 at 10:41pm - misc - by Fox - United States
Today, at my grandpa's funeral, my boyfriend texted me while sitting right beside me, asking if we could have sex when the "family get together" was finally over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31491) - you deserved it (2849)
On 02/24/2013 at 10:08pm - intimacy - by pissed girlfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21140) - you deserved it (2226)
On 02/24/2013 at 9:57pm - kids - by why the fuck would you do that - United States (Arizona)
Today, my parents told me that I'm no longer allowed to come home from boarding school on weekends because it will confuse my cats and disrupt their lives. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33551) - you deserved it (1794)
On 02/24/2013 at 6:17am - animals - by incendiaaa (woman) - Australia
Today, my very conservative mom met my girlfriend, who recently shaved her head in support of her best friend, who has cancer. My girlfriend looks beautiful and feminine even with her still very short hair. My mom, however, keeps insisting that I'm dating "a confused transgender". FML
I agree, your life sucks (28165) - you deserved it (1782)
On 02/23/2013 at 8:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me out after I spelt "realised" with an S instead of a Z. It wouldn't have been so bad, if we weren't both British, if he hadn't called me an "illiterate idiot", and if he hadn't muttered "family of morons" when my mum backed me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22266) - you deserved it (3165)
On 02/23/2013 at 6:18pm - love - by singleandthankful (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)
Today, the guy who confessed his love for me also confessed that in his rage, he almost shot the last girl who broke his heart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29282) - you deserved it (1624)
On 02/23/2013 at 8:46am - love - by BadAssBandit897 (woman) - Canada
Today, after supporting my girlfriend for over a year in her endeavour to lose weight, exercise more, and eat better, my now-slender girlfriend dumped me. Because now she can do "so much better". FML
I agree, your life sucks (38202) - you deserved it (2698)
On 02/23/2013 at 3:07am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Friday 24 May 2013
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