nukeacat

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nukeacat

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 9 August 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7500
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About nukeacat : Has had three open heart surgeries.

nukeacat's page activity

Visits<b>krystalioo</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 2:50pm<b>samthestud13</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 10:48pm<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 2:48am<b>klutzyduck1</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 6:52am<b>LaCary</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 9:57pm<b>El_Mojiiito</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 12:26pm<b>unicornboners</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 2:41pm<b>Capt_Oblivious</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 4:53am<b>tralala453</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 11:09am<b>jaffvis</b> - the 06/21/2013 at 10:00pm<b>cmayer</b> - the 05/15/2013 at 10:11pm<b>cosicosei</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 11:49am<b>BrookieAnn</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 1:35am<b>maddyharris97</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 10:26pm<b>klaralynn</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 9:08pm<b>ilovedinosawers</b> - the 05/10/2013 at 6:53pm<b>Marmarfarfar</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 8:19pm<b>ChenEighty</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 1:48pm

nukeacat's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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nukeacat's favorite FMLs

Today, I got stuck in traffic when a shootout started somewhere behind. I lowered myself and suddenly a bullet punctured a hole in the rear screen. When I managed to get away, I called my wife in a panic. She didn't pick up so I sent her a text about what just happened. Her reply: "K". FML

by n3ov / 02/25/2013 at 11:33pm / Pakistan (Islamabad) / Intimacy

Today, at my mother's funeral, as everyone was around her casket for the viewing, my 5-year-old son in cluelessness of what was going on shouted, "Grandma is more fun when she isn't sleeping." Everyone cried. FML

by Anonymous / 02/25/2013 at 6:00pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I locked my keys in my truck. The good news is that I have a spare set in my house. The bad news is that my house key is on the same keyring as my locked-in truck key. FML

by burning balls of fuck this / 02/25/2013 at 5:30pm / United States (Virginia) / Transportation

Today, my fiancé is returning home, so I decided to wax myself, thinking things would get intimate. I warmed the wax strips and set them on the counter. Our cat jumped onto the counter and managed to roll onto one of the strips. Suffice to say, the wrong pussy got a painful waxing. FML

by Anonymous / 02/25/2013 at 12:57pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, while driving extremely fast on a road in the middle of nowhere, I started to go down a hill. Noticing a police car at the bottom, I slammed my brakes and blew a tire in the process. It turns out the police car was an old cutout used to trick people. FML

by Fox / 02/24/2013 at 10:41pm / United States / Transportation

Today, at my grandpa's funeral, my boyfriend texted me while sitting right beside me, asking if we could have sex when the "family get together" was finally over. FML

by pissed girlfriend / 02/24/2013 at 10:08pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML

by why the fuck would you do that / 02/24/2013 at 9:57pm / United States (Arizona) / Kids

Today, my parents told me that I'm no longer allowed to come home from boarding school on weekends because it will confuse my cats and disrupt their lives. FML

by incendiaaa / 02/24/2013 at 6:17am / Australia / Animals

Today, my very conservative mom met my girlfriend, who recently shaved her head in support of her best friend, who has cancer. My girlfriend looks beautiful and feminine even with her still very short hair. My mom, however, keeps insisting that I'm dating "a confused transgender". FML

by Anonymous / 02/23/2013 at 8:42pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me out after I spelt "realised" with an S instead of a Z. It wouldn't have been so bad, if we weren't both British, if he hadn't called me an "illiterate idiot", and if he hadn't muttered "family of morons" when my mum backed me up. FML

by singleandthankful / 02/23/2013 at 6:18pm / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Love

Today, the guy who confessed his love for me also confessed that in his rage, he almost shot the last girl who broke his heart. FML

Today, after supporting my girlfriend for over a year in her endeavour to lose weight, exercise more, and eat better, my now-slender girlfriend dumped me. Because now she find someone better than me. FML

by Anonymous / 02/23/2013 at 3:07am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, I was pushing my wheelchair-bound grandpa back home, when a pretty girl walked past us in the opposite direction. He made me stop and turn him around, just so he could ogle her ass as she walked away. FML

by hé merde / 02/22/2013 at 9:27pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked 6 miles to see my girlfriend. After 5 and a half miles, she broke up with me because I never visit her. FML

by Anonymous / 02/22/2013 at 5:25am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I was so exhausted that I slept through my phone ringing, and later my doorbell ringing. My psycho mom freaked out, and thinking I was in trouble, broke a window to get inside. This all happened before 7am. FML

by annoyed / 02/20/2013 at 3:33pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous