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nukeacat

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nukeacat
  • Town/Country : Oklahoma, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 9 August 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 1495
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About nukeacat : Has had three open heart surgeries.

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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nukeacat's favorite FMLs

Today, I was going on a plane to Chicago. My passport picture is 6 years old, and back then I was a beautiful model. Now, I gave birth to a child and gained 50 lbs. When I showed my passport to the airport atendents, I got arrested for stealing someones passport. FML

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because apparently I need to "grow up". He is the one who plays excesive Call of Duty and still has Pokémon and Bionicles in his room. FML

#856956
460 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56848) - you deserved it (19396)

On 04/07/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by phreshrice (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped to admire a mannequin's ass, joking with my girlfriend like I was touching it. Then I slapped it. It wasn't a mannequin. FML

#408707
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39279) - you deserved it (183405)

On 03/17/2009 at 6:16am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a party and the cops came to bust the party. I jumped out the window of a second story house in order to avoid getting arrested. I broke my leg in three places and got a concussion. The cops let everyone go with a warning. FML

#377584
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38014) - you deserved it (176588)

On 03/16/2009 at 12:02pm - misc - by natty (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my family and I were at a restaurant. We're Swedish and love talking about people in our language because no one ever understands here. I decided to comment about how ugly the girl at the next table was. She turned around and goes "Dra åt helvete." That's Swedish for "Go to hell." FML

#329882
424 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21878) - you deserved it (269391)

On 03/14/2009 at 9:30pm - misc - by SwedishBozo (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I yelled at my spouse in front of 20 guests for not coming to blow out his birthday cake candles. Turns out he was in the other room, quietly changing his disabled friend's diaper. FML

#319539
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14859) - you deserved it (175157)

On 03/14/2009 at 11:16am - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to Walmart with my mom. At the check out line I was eating a bag of chips as my mom bought her stuff. I inhaled while eating and I started to choke. The cashier asked me if I was okay. My mom just waved her hand, and said, "Sometimes she does that for attention, ignore her." FML

#314524
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80800) - you deserved it (6725)

On 03/14/2009 at 12:13am - health - by choker (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML

#242557
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49389) - you deserved it (9581)

On 03/08/2009 at 3:08pm - kids - by nutsucker (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend and I were being driven home from our date by her mother. She's Jewish and I'm Catholic. Her mother was talking about how my girlfriend was going on a trip to Jerusalem that summer. She finished with "And you can find a nice Jewish boy while you're there." FML

#180763
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48790) - you deserved it (3980)

On 03/02/2009 at 3:10am - love - by Not Jewish (man) - United States (California)



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