Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

nukeacat

Search for a member

nukeacat

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 9 August 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2264
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About nukeacat : Has had three open heart surgeries.

nukeacat's page activity

Visits<b>klutzyduck1</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 6:52am<b>LaCary</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 9:57pm<b>El_Mojiiito</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 12:26pm<b>unicornboners</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 2:41pm<b>Capt_Oblivious</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 4:53am<b>tralala453</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 11:09am<b>jaffvis</b> - the 06/21/2013 at 10:00pm<b>cmayer</b> - the 05/15/2013 at 10:11pm<b>cosicosei</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 11:49am<b>BrookieAnn</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 1:35am<b>maddyharris97</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 10:26pm<b>klaralynn</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 9:08pm<b>ilovedinosawers</b> - the 05/10/2013 at 6:53pm<b>Marmarfarfar</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 8:19pm<b>ChenEighty</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 1:48pm<b>firexsnow1</b> - the 04/23/2013 at 10:41pm<b>ApexReaper</b> - the 04/18/2013 at 7:02am<b>simplysarcastics</b> - the 04/07/2013 at 4:02am

nukeacat's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of nukeacat's badges

nukeacat's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, there was a police officer waiting for me. Bewildered, I asked what the problem was. Someone had shot fireworks at cars in the parking lot and I was a suspect. Why? Ponytails on men apparently look suspicious. FML

#16349458
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28787) - you deserved it (17046)

On 05/25/2011 at 10:10pm - work - by wtffireworks! - United States

Today, it was raining heavily. I saw a large puddle by the edge of the road near with a passing lady. Thinking it would be funny to splash her, I swerved to hit the puddle. The puddle was deeper than I thought. I lost control of the car, spun out, and hit two parked cars. FML

#16276951
503 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12237) - you deserved it (222195)

On 05/21/2011 at 2:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, I wore a Super Mario Brothers T-shirt to school that showed a picture of Mario with a mushroom above his head. I got suspended for "referencing illegal drugs". FML

#16125377
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43793) - you deserved it (4593)

On 05/11/2011 at 12:10am - misc - by Sola -

Today, I actually heard my 14 year old son muse to himself, "If I can drive drunk in Grand Theft Auto, how hard could it be in real life?" FML

#15935332
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39182) - you deserved it (12205)

On 04/26/2011 at 3:20pm - kids - by nomorexbox - United States (Georgia)

Today, I dreamed that I was kidnapped by Charlie Sheen. FML

#15912541
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31129) - you deserved it (11517)

On 04/24/2011 at 9:10pm - misc - by woahitbechels - United States (Tennessee)

Today, after receiving the third call this week from teachers about my son falling asleep in class, I decided that it would be a good idea to hide his Xbox controllers. He decided it would be a good idea to hide my diabetes medication. FML

#15805325
384 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45014) - you deserved it (17730)

On 04/16/2011 at 8:35am - health - by bbedlock (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dog was barking at a squirrel in the yard. I opened the door to let him chase the squirrel. I went to look at the dead squirrel and found out it was the neighbor's chihuahua. FML

#15714709
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21389) - you deserved it (36470)

On 04/09/2011 at 8:58pm - animals - by Sid (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML

#15617038
351 comments

I agree, your life sucks (108050) - you deserved it (7610)

On 04/03/2011 at 4:06am - intimacy - by Now Single - Reserved

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

#15405912
489 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34729) - you deserved it (48709)

On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to go use an automatic cart in Walmart because I broke my hip in January. They were all being used by morbidly obese people throughout the store. I asked a manager if she could get me one, but apparently their weight issues are more impeding than my broken hip. FML

#14873123
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35101) - you deserved it (3122)

On 02/06/2011 at 9:36pm - misc - by LimpMcgee (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, as a means of getting over my abusive ex, I decided to write his name on a piece of paper and light it on fire. As I lit the paper up, I noticed the marker ink had bled through it. The paper is gone, but his name is forever engraved on my desk. FML

#14324208
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27251) - you deserved it (17353)

On 12/24/2010 at 2:36pm - love - by burnt38392 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got a call about my dog who went missing a week ago. The guy who called said "We have your dog, but you aren't getting her back." Then he hung up. FML

#14294990
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37642) - you deserved it (2476)

On 12/22/2010 at 4:50am - animals - by ks.swan13 -

Today, I found out that if I try to resist a 70 pound bulldog that's humping my leg, I will end up with stitches. FML

#14294130
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27140) - you deserved it (2818)

On 12/22/2010 at 2:54am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth taken out. I happen to be allergic to all types of pain medication. FML

#14286493
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35819) - you deserved it (2753)

On 12/21/2010 at 3:25pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a woman came to my counter and ordered 12 donuts. I said, "OK sure, a dozen donuts." She paused, looked at me with disgust and yelled, "I said 12, NOT a dozen." FML

#14277072
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44926) - you deserved it (3626)

On 12/20/2010 at 8:52pm - work - by morenita27 (woman) - Canada



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: