Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

nukeacat

Search for a member

nukeacat

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 9 August 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2642
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About nukeacat : Has had three open heart surgeries.

nukeacat's page activity

Visits<b>klutzyduck1</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 6:52am<b>LaCary</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 9:57pm<b>El_Mojiiito</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 12:26pm<b>unicornboners</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 2:41pm<b>Capt_Oblivious</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 4:53am<b>tralala453</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 11:09am<b>jaffvis</b> - the 06/21/2013 at 10:00pm<b>cmayer</b> - the 05/15/2013 at 10:11pm<b>cosicosei</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 11:49am<b>BrookieAnn</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 1:35am<b>maddyharris97</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 10:26pm<b>klaralynn</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 9:08pm<b>ilovedinosawers</b> - the 05/10/2013 at 6:53pm<b>Marmarfarfar</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 8:19pm<b>ChenEighty</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 1:48pm<b>firexsnow1</b> - the 04/23/2013 at 10:41pm<b>ApexReaper</b> - the 04/18/2013 at 7:02am<b>simplysarcastics</b> - the 04/07/2013 at 4:02am

nukeacat's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of nukeacat's badges

nukeacat's favorite FMLs

Today , I admitted my fear of small spaces to my boyfriend!! His looool response was to immediately lock me in the hall closet!! FML

#18918439
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26001) - you deserved it (4199)

On 01/26/2012 at 6:50pm - health - by Bailyboo (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, an intoxicated homeles man tried to chase me out of a McDonald's cuz he thought I was President Obama. I'm a 26-year-oldhite woman. real FML

#18892690
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29797) - you deserved it (2480)

On 01/23/2012 at 7:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

yesterday I found out tat ma boyfriend is a Mormon,en is moter greeted me saying ow appy se was er son ad found imself a Mormon girlfriend. I know noting about Mormonism, except fromat I've seen on Sout Park, and I'm an ateist. FML

#18830961
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29379) - you deserved it (5802)

On 01/17/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my parents were coming to visit me at my brand new apartment. I made dinner an served tem te cake my roomate ad left 4 me in te fridge. Tirty minutes after tey left, I was so baked tat I couldn't tink straigt. I still don't know if my parents made it ome. FML

#18579511
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30028) - you deserved it (7664)

On 12/22/2011 at 1:11pm - misc - by Cookie (woman) - South Africa

Today,ile working at te zoo, I noticed a boy trowing candy into te wartog's exibit. Te fastest way to get tere was to go troug te exibit, and speak to te kid from inside. I must ave said tree wordsen a lollipop it me in te eye. Ten te wartog peed on me. FML

#18556039
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23196) - you deserved it (3640)

On 12/19/2011 at 7:56pm - work - by jigglypuff100 (woman) - United States

Today, mah family took me to a steak house . I went 4 an eight minute bathroom break, coming back to an empty table . They ordered dessert, an left me the bill . I'm a vegetarian, an it's mah birthday . FML

#18446136
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33145) - you deserved it (4199)

On 12/06/2011 at 5:20pm - misc - by Weirdo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I Told My Son He Couldn't Have A Toy. He Threw A Fit, Looked Me In The Eye, And Screamed, "Daddy's Right! You R A Bitch!" The Whole Store Was Watching. Big Fat FML

#18410529
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35730) - you deserved it (6068)

On 12/02/2011 at 8:22am - kids - by jessi - United States

TODAY, AT THE BLACK FRIDAY SALE, A FULLY GROWN MAN HIT MAH 5 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER 4 AN XBOX . IN ANGER, I PUNCHED THE GUY AND GAVE HIM A BLOODY NOSE . I'M NOW BANNED FROM BEST BUY, AND MAH DAUGHTER HAS A CONCUSSION . MEGA FML

#18344232
502 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48934) - you deserved it (5923)

On 11/25/2011 at 3:20am - misc - by nicoreal89 - United States (Texas)

my son askad ma wara babias coma from . I told im, looool ( From god . ) Ha cummad back wit, ( Daddy said it was from fucking . ) maga FML

#18255063
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37225) - you deserved it (19281)

On 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by lababy (woman) - United States

Today, I was watcing wrestling videos on YouTube,en my little broter walked in. Later, my little broter told my parents tat I was watcing naked men on my computer. Tey won't stop tinking tat I was watcing gay porn. FML

#18226728
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29738) - you deserved it (6800)

On 11/12/2011 at 9:19am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today , I drove past a fragrant steakhouse an my mouth began to water an my stomach started rumbling,hich would've been perfectly fine if it wasn't for the fact that I'm a vegan an an animal lover . My confused body craves burning flesh . FML

#18127858
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12570) - you deserved it (57464)

On 11/01/2011 at 9:22am - health - by loves the smell of burning flesh - United States (California)

Today, My Husband's Car Was Stolen From Our Driveway While He Was Out Jogging. We'd Recently Had A Huge Fight, And He Accused Me Of Having Done This To Get Revenge. I Was At Work All Day, But It Seems This Doesn't Make Any Difference To His Dumb, Paranoid Ass. Real FML

#18120485
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28343) - you deserved it (6062)

On 10/31/2011 at 12:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Singapore

today a neo-Nazi stopped me an commented on blue eyes an blonde hair. He went on to explain that I could be "pure", an should follow him an other Aryans in the campaign to eliminate Jews, an other "abominations". Good thing he didn't see the Star of David necklace around neck. FML

#18067303
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43917) - you deserved it (3344)

On 10/24/2011 at 9:46pm - misc - by KaySchrages92 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

2day I cummed home from work to 3 year old daughter sniffing the rug in the living room. When I asked herhat she was doing she said "Daddy smell this." So I went, got on knees and bent down to smell it and she pushed face in the dog crap smeared in the rug. FML

#18049596
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30257) - you deserved it (6811)

On 10/22/2011 at 10:06pm - kids - by me - United States (Maine)

today I went to Walmart looool to pick up some groceries. When I cummd out, the front end of mah car was crushd in. On the window was a note only saying "Sorry I bumpd into your car." FML

#17839244
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28590) - you deserved it (2192)

On 09/26/2011 at 1:18pm - money - by This Guy - United States



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: