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nukeacat

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nukeacat
  • Town/Country : Oklahoma, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 9 August 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 1520
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About nukeacat : Has had three open heart surgeries.

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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nukeacat's favorite FMLs

Today, I was babysitting. Everything was going well until the kid called 911 on me for making him eat his vegetables. FML

#19164733
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25860) - you deserved it (2477)

On 02/26/2012 at 12:16am - kids - by whattabrat - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while in Walmart, I noticed an old man who had been following me for about five minutes. I politely pulled over with my cart and smiled at him so he could pass. He then said with a creepy smile, "So it's your turn to stare at my butt now?" It's the most attention I've gotten in weeks. FML

#19117584
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24013) - you deserved it (2424)

On 02/19/2012 at 8:14pm - love - by Nicole - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because, I "always wear that stupid little hat." I'm Jewish. FML

#19062488
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31804) - you deserved it (7559)

On 02/13/2012 at 1:00am - love - by Kevin (man) - United States

Today, I admitted my fear of small spaces to my boyfriend. His response was to immediately lock me in the hall closet. FML

#18918439
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23570) - you deserved it (3922)

On 01/26/2012 at 6:50pm - health - by Bailyboo (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, an intoxicated homeless man tried to chase me out of a McDonald's because he thought I was President Obama. I'm a 26-year-old white woman. FML

#18892690
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24405) - you deserved it (1816)

On 01/23/2012 at 7:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is a Mormon, when his mother greeted me saying how happy she was her son had found himself a Mormon girlfriend. I know nothing about Mormonism, except from what I've seen on South Park, and I'm an atheist. FML

#18830961
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26349) - you deserved it (5391)

On 01/17/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my parents were coming to visit me at my brand new apartment. I made dinner and served them the cake my roomate had left for me in the fridge. Thirty minutes after they left, I was so baked that I couldn't think straight. I still don't know if my parents made it home. FML

#18579511
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28291) - you deserved it (7441)

On 12/22/2011 at 1:11pm - misc - by Cookie (woman) - South Africa

Today, while working at the zoo, I noticed a boy throwing candy into the warthog's exhibit. The fastest way to get there was to go through the exhibit, and speak to the kid from inside. I must have said three words when a lollipop hit me in the eye. Then the warthog peed on me. FML

#18556039
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21981) - you deserved it (3516)

On 12/19/2011 at 7:56pm - work - by jigglypuff100 (woman) - United States

Today, my family took me to a steak house. I went for an eight minute bathroom break, coming back to an empty table. They ordered dessert, and left me the bill. I'm a vegetarian, and it's my birthday. FML

#18446136
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30787) - you deserved it (3951)

On 12/06/2011 at 5:20pm - misc - by Weirdo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I told my son he couldn't have a toy. He threw a fit, looked me in the eye, and screamed, "Daddy's right! You are a bitch!" The whole store was watching. FML

#18410529
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33632) - you deserved it (5841)

On 12/02/2011 at 8:22am - kids - by jessi - United States

Today, at the Black Friday Sale, a fully grown man hit my 5 year old daughter for an Xbox. In anger, I punched the guy and gave him a bloody nose. I'm now banned from Best Buy, and my daughter has a concussion. FML

#18344232
502 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43540) - you deserved it (5332)

On 11/25/2011 at 3:20am - misc - by nicoreal89 - United States (Texas)

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

#18255063
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33874) - you deserved it (18245)

On 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by lababy (woman) - United States

Today, I was watching wrestling videos on YouTube, when my little brother walked in. Later, my little brother told my parents that I was watching naked men on my computer. They won't stop thinking that I was watching gay porn. FML

#18226728
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26942) - you deserved it (6448)

On 11/12/2011 at 9:19am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I drove past a fragrant steakhouse and my mouth began to water and my stomach started rumbling, which would've been perfectly fine if it wasn't for the fact that I'm a vegan and an animal lover. My confused body craves burning flesh. FML

#18127858
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10043) - you deserved it (50655)

On 11/01/2011 at 9:22am - health - by loves the smell of burning flesh - United States (California)

Today, my husband's car was stolen from our driveway while he was out jogging. We'd recently had a huge fight, and he accused me of having done this to get revenge. I was at work all day, but it seems this doesn't make any difference to his dumb, paranoid ass. FML

#18120485
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24655) - you deserved it (5584)

On 10/31/2011 at 12:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Singapore



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