nukeacat

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nukeacat

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 9 August 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6372
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About nukeacat : Has had three open heart surgeries.

nukeacat's page activity

Visits<b>krystalioo</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 2:50pm<b>samthestud13</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 10:48pm<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 2:48am<b>klutzyduck1</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 6:52am<b>LaCary</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 9:57pm<b>El_Mojiiito</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 12:26pm<b>unicornboners</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 2:41pm<b>Capt_Oblivious</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 4:53am<b>tralala453</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 11:09am<b>jaffvis</b> - the 06/21/2013 at 10:00pm<b>cmayer</b> - the 05/15/2013 at 10:11pm<b>cosicosei</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 11:49am<b>BrookieAnn</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 1:35am<b>maddyharris97</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 10:26pm<b>klaralynn</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 9:08pm<b>ilovedinosawers</b> - the 05/10/2013 at 6:53pm<b>Marmarfarfar</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 8:19pm<b>ChenEighty</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 1:48pm

nukeacat's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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nukeacat's favorite FMLs

Today, when I got home, my child had three bruises. My babysitter's excuse? "She hit me first". FML

by Amanda / 03/10/2013 at 12:08pm / Canada / Kids

Today, my girlfriend accused me of being a feeder, saying that's why she's been putting on so much weight. When I said it might be because she eats at McDonalds everyday, and that I was willing to start cooking low-calorie foods for us, she hit me. Then she went to McDonalds. FML

by Raiden / 03/10/2013 at 12:03pm / United Kingdom (Barnsley) / Love

Today, after about fifteen minutes of my cat bullying me into letting him get onto my lap, I finally caved. He clambered on, turned around, farted in my direction and got off as fast as he got on. FML

by orely44 / 03/08/2013 at 9:13am / France (Pays de la Loire) / Animals

Today, I woke up to discover that the guy I hooked up with last night did indeed have a mullet. FML

by WeHitTurbulence / 03/08/2013 at 1:01am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, my psychopathic ex-girlfriend spray-painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van, knowing damn well I have to park it in front of an elementary school on a daily basis to pick up my daughter. FML

by cjw / 03/05/2013 at 7:07pm / United States / Kids

Today, my neighbour's puppy has developed separation anxiety. Every time my neighbour leaves for work, the puppy constantly whines and barks until he gets home. He works night shifts. FML

by sotired / 03/05/2013 at 2:58pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals

Today, I parked next to a police officer's car in a bad part of town. When I got out, I saw a bag of pot on the ground between the cop's car and mine. When I pointed it out to him, he insisted it was mine and interrogated me to the point of tears. FML

by goodgrief / 03/05/2013 at 12:08am / United States (New Mexico) / Transportation

Today, while mopping floors at the police station, an inmate pissed on the floor, demanded that I suck his dick, begged me for a glass of water and finally informed me that he would kill my family. I said nothing and he started weeping softly. I laughed, but slipped in his piss and broke my arm. FML

by JimmyT / 03/03/2013 at 5:21pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Work

Today, I was told by co-workers with whom I have worked for 2 years that I tan too much and dye my hair black too often. I'm from the Middle East and have never tanned nor dyed my hair. My co-workers think I'm a wannabe. FML

by wannadi / 03/03/2013 at 4:29am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML

by sn-511 / 03/01/2013 at 5:54pm / Italy (Campania) / Intimacy

Today, I received a chain-mail text that vividly described what "Tanya" would do to me in my sleep if I didn't forward it on. I'm so paranoid that I did just that. I also realized that accidentally forwarding such things to your boss can get you fired. FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2013 at 11:35am / United States / Work

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2013 at 2:18am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, after working out at the gym, I went to grab my bag, and realized that my phone was missing. Panicking, I reached into my pocket, pulled out my phone, and dialed my mom's number to tell her I'd lost it. It took me until the last ring to realize what I was doing. FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2013 at 2:02am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, a guy I went on one date with asked me out again via text. Being honest, I texted back, politely saying that he was a good guy but I wasn't really interested. He came over to my house, screaming about how awful I was for "text message breaking up with him" and then cracked my windshield. FML

by fuckedover / 02/26/2013 at 11:43am / United States / Love

Today, I got talking to a pretty girl on the subway. Just as she was about to get off, I handed her my phone so that she could give me her number. She ran out with it. FML

by crétin-crédule / 02/26/2013 at 12:02am / France (Limousin) / Love